Cast of Survivor: Tocantins (Season 18) Revealed

The cast of Survivor: Tocantins has finally been revealed! Who's excited? Uh, us, obviously. They have photos, bios, and videos up to help you get to know the new cast of Survivor. In case you don't want to read all their bios or sit through the videos, we did it for you. Here are our thoughts on all the Survivors...we can only assume you'll agree! (By the way, we deserve some sort of medal for watching all the "Meet the Survivor" videos. We had to watch so many Katy Perry commercials that it could be considered torture.) Anyway, Survivor: Tocantins starts on Thursday, February 12th, so get ready!

Meet the cast (and see our analysis) after the jump.

Benjamin "Coach" Wade (37)
Hometown: Bolivar, Mo.
Occupation: Soccer Coach

Kristen: Benjamin needs a haircut, and thinks he’s a genius musician. He’s not very modest, and seems like he’d tell anyone who will listen (or who won’t) about his 6-month-long solo kayak trip to Colombia.

Alissa: Okay...well...hate the hair and tattoos. In this bio he mentions he’s had a lot of animal attacks/close calls. Does this just mean he’s super adventurous, or does it mean that he sucks at being adventurous? Wait...didn’t he say he had two parts to his personality...and then went on to describe three? He’s definitely lacking the math part. His cockiness is pretty annoying.

Brendan Synnott (30)
Hometown: New York, N.Y.
Occupation: Entrepreneur

Kristen: This douchebag loved being an entrepreneur. He’s super excited to be in a “far-off land”. I can see this guy’s cockiness being his downfall.

Alissa: He's kind of cute, but comes across kind of douchey. His competitive nature could serve him well, but his cockiness might be a concern. He definitely seems to recognize multiple sides to the game, and if he can pay attention to them, he might do well. Or become overly cocky and screw himself over.

Candace Smith (31)
Hometown: Dayton, Ohio
Occupation: Attorney

Kristen: She went to Northwestern Law School, and then went on to use her degree to win Miss Ohio USA. Her boobs are gigantic, and she will use her looks to further her in the game, shocking.

Alissa: Athlete, beauty queen, model, Northwestern law school graduate...impressive. I like her honesty about how her looks will affect the game. Because well, they will. Wow, she has big boobs. She needs a better bikini top...one with support. How do you run in that?

Carolina Eastwood (26)
Hometown: West Hollywood, Calif.
Occupation: Bartender

Kristen: Grew up without electricity, so maybe she has a leg up on other people. Her ditzy voice will probably get old though.

Alissa: She grew up without electricity and with an outhouse? Well...she should be okay with the whole roughing it thing, right? I like people who recognize what they have and how lucky they are. But she refers to this as “...a huge challenge for myself”. Okay, I know I’m nitpicking, but that is definitely not grammatically correct.

Debra "Debbie" Beebee (46)
Hometown: Auburn, Ala.
Occupation: Middle School Principal

Kristen: “Life is grand!” She thinks being an older contestant is going to be an advantage. Has she seen this show before? How is she going to react when her roots grow out? So many questions…

Alissa: “Also known as Bubbles”? Huh. I’m sure it’s great that she trained along Olympic athletes, but I mean, Crystal was a frickin’ Olympic Gold Medalist, and we all saw how good she was. Maybe it’ll be different with Bubbles here. She looks good for 46, but being older doesn’t usually help in the game.

Erinn Lobdell (26)
Hometown: Waukesha, Wis.
Occupation: Hairstylist

Kristen: She works at a high end salon… in Milwaukee. Wow, she must be good. Somehow her job is going to help in Survivor. I’ll believe it when I see it. P.S. Learnn to spell your ownn nname, thannks.

Alissa: Erinn with two n’s....really? She’s fairly cute though and nothing about her appearance bugs me, so we’ll see. “She’ll be dumb like a fox”? What does that even mean? A focus on people skills is definitely a good thing, as long as she has a good strategy too.

Jerry Sims (49)
Hometown: Rock Hill, SC
Occupation: Sgt. – U.S. Army

Kristen: Jerry’s one of 11 kids, so he should probably be able to get along in a group well. He’s mentioned his military background a lot (he’s in the National Guard), we’ll see.

Alissa: Being a leader and a fan of the whole team thing is good, but he might be a little controlling. No one likes that. He definitely thinks he looks good for his age. Oookay. Why does everyone claim they’re SO different from the others? They're all different because, uh, they’re not the same people?

Joe Dowdle (26)
Hometown: Austin, Texas
Occupation: Real Estate Sales

Kristen: I can’t really think of anything to say about him because I’m distracted by his big cross necklace. I can tell you he’s from Texas and uhhh… that means he tells it like it is?

Alissa: I noticed the cross right away. Will his religion affect his game? “He intends to constantly look for alliances and win challenges, all while staying just below the radar”. I feel like that’s a lot harder than it sounds...and it doesn’t sound easy.

James "JT" Thomas Jr. (24)
Hometown: Samson, Ala.
Occupation: Cattle Rancher

Kristen: JT is a hick. His plan seems to be to blend. I hope he can reign in his accent, because that sticks out like a sore thumb. He seems nicely earnest, but I don’t know how well his strategy will serve him.

Alissa: He’s a cattle rancher! I love it! Ya know...for someone who claims he gets fired up when his intelligence is insulted, playing the dumb hillbilly strategy might not be the best idea. He seems to think no one else has experience with the outdoors. It’s Survivor. What kind of people does he think apply? Well, actually, I’m sure tons of fame whores do, but I mean, also outdoorsy types, right?

Sandy Burgin (53)
Hometown: Louisville, Ky.
Occupation: Bus Driver

Kristen: Another bus driver? Wasn’t that mulleted Denise's job? Her plan is to be on a winning team, good plan, Sandy, good plan.

Alissa: They have a couple older people on this one. Fishing and building skills might be good, but if she lacks physical prowess, it might not matter. And a moose tattoo? Really? She’s right that being older is going to make her a target. Being on the winning team is great and all, but how do you plan to arrange for that one, sweetheart?

Sierra Reed (23)
Hometown: Los Angeles, Calif.
Occupation: Model

Kristen: Is an ugly-looking model, who seems as though she might be getting over a crack addiction based on her behavior. I’m having trouble understanding what she’s saying, some thing about iron butterfly?

Alissa: And here we have model #2. She sure likes to use her hands when she talks. It’s pretty annoying. As is her voice. Doing her research was a good idea. Oh God...if she thinks Ozzie played the game the best, she’s in trouble. She doesn’t seem to have the killer instinct. Wait...she’s going to make this to the “bottom five”? Does she mean top 5? I’m confused.

Spencer Duhm (19)
Hometown: Lakeland, Fla.
Occupation: Student

Kristen: He’s 19 and the youngest survivor ever. He seems pretty riled up and excited, like he’s just had 5 espressos. Either his youthful enthusiasm will help him, or hinder him, we’ll see.

Alissa: Awww, he’s so young. How cute. And is he gay? He looks kind of gay. (Score one for me. Totally right about that.) Being a big survivor fan could be interesting. Hopefully it means he’ll be good at strategy. Oh oh oh oh. He’s a Cubs fan. I totally love him. He’s right about needing to fall back. No one’s going to want to listen to a 19 year old.

Stephen Fishbach (29)
Hometown: New York, N.Y.
Occupation: Corporate Consultant

Kristen: Stephen thinks he’s going to be the geeky one, and I agree with him. He’s got a JT strategy going, blend into the background. This better not be a boring season.

Alissa: He’s defintiely kind of nerdy. That might work out well, if people underestimate him. Of course, for them to do that, he actually has to be good. Manipulating others to do what you want isn’t a bad strategy, as long as you can claim credit if you make it to the Final Tribal Council.

Sydney Wheeler (24)
Hometown: Raleigh, N.C.
Occupation: Model

Kristen: Seems pretty bland. She seems like someone that will coast for a while, but is neither smart enough to get to the end, nor strong enough to do well a challenges.

Alissa: Our third model? Oooh...model competition! It’ll be like ANTM...but with less makeup and hair products. Honestly, other than her looks, I’m not sure what else she has going for her in the game. She might be able to get by for a while, but I don’t see her making it to the end.

Tamara “Taj” Johnson-George (37)
Hometown: Nashville, Tenn.
Occupation: Former Pop Star

Kristen: She’s a “trick-of-all-trades”. She thinks people might recognize her from her singing group… that I’ve never heard of, or for her husband, a Heisman winner. OK, all her money will go to a foundation, lame.

Alissa: Former pop star? Am I supposed to know who she is? “Trick of all trades”? I think she means jack of all trades? She really thinks people will recognize her? I dunno about that. Wait, and “pritzy”? Prissy? Uh huh. She definitely seems like she’s strong (mentally and physically), so that could help her on the game.

Tyson Apostol (29)
Hometown: Lindon, Utah
Occupation: Professional Cyclist

Kristen: Tyson has spent time as a missionary in the Philippines, so I guess he’s used to tropical weather? He also tells us he’s charmingly arrogant. Oxymoron much? He’s a professional cyclist, so I’m guessing he’s pretty good at physical challenges.

Alissa: Haha, a BYU dropout who plans to lie his way through the game? I love it! “In addition to, as he describes it, "looking awesome," his favorite hobbies are exercising and sunbathing”. Wow. He says some people don’t like him at first because he purposely pushes people’s buttons? That’s so weird. Why wouldn’t people like that?

So, what do you all think of the cast? Any early favorites? Anyone you know you're going to hate? Predictions on who will go far?