Real World: Brooklyn (Episode 6) Recap

Okay, I’m getting pretty bored with this season so far. So uh, they better step it up. Get drunk. Get mad. Throw things. Have sex with each other. That kind of thing. I know people seem to be all excited that this cast doesn’t just do those things, but I mean, what’s the point of the Real World? I see a bunch of normal people living normal lives on a regular basis. I watch the show for the crazies.

Spoilers after the jump.

Previously on the Real World: JD was a drunk asshole, the boys and girls hate each other, and Katelynn still hasn’t told everyone that she’s transgender.

We start out with Katelynn walking around in underwear and a tank top, because she feels comfortable with it. Other roommates do not, specifically Scott and Ryan. Devyn, who still doesn’t know for sure that Katelynn is transgender, discusses the rumors with the cameras. She apparently assumes she’ll be able to see something that shows her Katelynn’s transgender. I guess she doesn’t understand the concept of being a post-op transgender?

Sarah asks Katelynn why she’s not wearing clothes, because um, it’s not appropriate. Katelynn says she doesn’t give a crap, basically.

Now Katelynn, JD, and Sarah head to some Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, & Transgender Community Center. Wait...if this is a LGBT outing, where are Scott and Blayne? It’s not nice to leave them out. Anyway, the three of them are interested in volunteering there. Katelynn would like to work with the trans community, JD would like to work with marriage equality programs, and Sarah would like to do some sort of art class.

Ector, from the center, wonders if they’d like to be involved in some 3 day bike ride from Gettysburg to Brooklyn that is raising funds for HIV/AIDS awareness. Katelynn has lost three close friends to AIDS, so this is an important issue to her.

They tell the other roommates about it when they get home, and apparently Ryan is from Gettysburg. He’s super excited/shocked by the fact that Gettysburg is mentioned outside of Pennsylvania, and obviously wouldn’t mind visiting home, so he’s going to come to the event to. JD invites Blayne to come as well, and he agrees because he can’t pass up an opportunity to admire men in bike shorts.

Now Ryan is on the phone with Michelle ma Belle, telling her that he’s going to be coming to Gettysburg with his “seven crazy roommates”. Oh, and we see a talking head shot of Ryan with shorter hair. Yeah...not a good decision. It looked much better longer. Michelle ma Belle sounds more excited about how excited Ryan must be than Ryan actually is excited (if that makes any sense).

Okay, now something gets delivered to the house for Katelynn, and oh, it’s a stripper pole. Awesome. She says she’s still getting acclimated to the power of femininity, which I guess involves stripping. She somehow thinks pole dancing is going to make her feel like a powerful female. I mean, I’ve heard people claim that strippers hold the power, but I don’t buy it. They’re being objectified by lots of old drunk horny men. But Katelynn seems to enjoy spinning around on the pole. She’s not too bad at it, I guess, although I’m not super knowledgeable about pole dancing talent. Katelynn says that it might be easier if she came out to everyone in the house, but she’s not sure she’s ready to.

Katelynn’s walking around without pants again, and Ryan’s all, “Dammit, Katelynn, put some pants on!” I second that request. Ryan is apparently disgusted to look at her knowing that she used to be a man. Ooookay. I don’t really care to see her walking around without pants, but it has nothing to do with her being transgender. Katelynn tells the camera (in a confessional, I think) that she wants to be able to show off and enjoy her body because she’s only had it for three months. Ryan and Blayne, being assholes, eavesdrop on her conversation. Shouldn’t the confessional be soundproof?

Ryan (and Blayne) proudly announce to JD, Baya, and Scott (maybe) what they heard, saying “Oh my god! She cut off her wiener”. Nice. JD doesn’t care about keeping secrets, apparently, since he tells them she went to Thailand for the surgery. Oh, but he says not to tell her that he told them, so it’s all okay.

It’s the day that they’re going to Gettysburg, and Ryan decides to wake them all up to get ready at 7AM by banging on pots. Katelynn is annoyed because she hasn’t had her coffee or estrogen yet, so she goes into Ryan’s room, steals his alarm clock, and throws it out the window, with Devyn encouraging her.

Blayne loves men, so he suggests having a boy’s car and a girl’s car. The other roommates agree, because girls have cooties and stuff. They get into their separate cars, and the gossiping about each other commences.

The boys refuse to give the girls directions, and for some reason have Scott leading the way. That’s a bad idea, since Scott is an idiot. The girls agree with this, and decide to go off on their own. When the guys notice the girls are gone, Scott suggests they might have “gone to get a vagina hair trim”. Oh Scott, you’re so witty.

Ryan’s brother is waiting for them in Gettysburg, and the guys get there first. They chase some tour bus down in their car, and are super excited that the girls didn’t make the tour. What the hell kind of Real World is this? When is the hooking up going to start?

The girls get there late, but they manage to find the bus tour partway through. The guys are super upset, because, like I mentioned, girls have cooties. The boys bitch about the girls coming, so the girls go off and shop and explore. They find one of those old time photo places and take fun photos. The guys pose on rocks and stuff. When they meet up, JD admires the pictures, and Blayne claims there’s not tension between the two groups.

Now they roommates are going out to dinner with Ryan’s family, and his dad has an amazing moustache. Blayne thinks his family is good people, and Katelynn agrees, but she’s bored. They head to the other half of the restaurant, which is a bar. Oh, and there’s a pole, so um, Katelynn goes to town on it. Bet someone’s not bored anymore. Everyone else realizes how messed up it is to randomly pole dance in public, but Katelynn doesn’t care. Oh, and she also grinds with an old man. This girl is seriously screwed up.

The next morning, the guys get up and ready and leave without the girls. Nice. Is this the theme of the episode? Because I’m getting sick of it. In the car, the guys talk about how inappropriate Katelynn was. The guys get there first and the girls are late.

The ceremony is really moving to most normal human beings, since it’s honoring people who have died of AIDS, but Blayne doesn’t see it that way. Instead, he thinks it’s a good time to act like a three year old. Katelynn and Sarah tell him to stop, which upsets Blayne somehow. Because he’s obviously totally in the right to act like a child at a super serious time.

They get back into their boy and girl cars, and talk shit about the other group. Yeah, I’m going to side with the girls on this one. In some situations what the guys were doing would be fine, but that isn’t something you mock.

In the girls car, Katelynn decides to come out to Devyn as transgender, but Devyn tells her that she already knows. Devyn is totally fine with it. They then discuss whether the guys know/care. She thinks Ryan will have the biggest problem with it (obviously), but says she does want to come out to him.

Then we see a shot of the guys mocking the fact that Katelynn is transgender. They claim that’s their way of dealing with the situation. Apparently they’re upset that Katelynn hasn’t told them yet, but ummm, wonder why? Clearly you guys are super sensitive about it. Of course she can talk to you.

They’re back at the house, and the boys are crabby. They get into a big fight over what happened that morning at the event. Blayne is super upset that they judge his behavior. Um...then stop acting like an immature ass? He rambles on about how they’re at fault. Sarah then cries in the confessional, because she doesn’t think she’s like that at all. We’re finally getting somewhere. I hope one of the roommates throws something at another one soon!

Sarah then goes up to JD, apologizing and wanting to know if Blayne’s right about her being judgmental. I’m going to go with, yeah, kind of. Instead, it turns into a conversation between JD and Devyne about the lives and psyches of little girls and which one of them is smarter. And by conversation I mean shouting match. JD calls Devyn a college dropout, which is true, but she’s considers herself college educated because she attended some college. Riiiight. That’s like being a janitor at NASA and telling people you “work for NASA”. It might be technically kind of true, but it’s sure as hell deceptive.

Oooh, and then Devyn pull s out this gem for JD, “Just because you felt like a little girl as a child, there’s a difference between little boys and little girls”. Ummm...good assumption about gay guys, sweetheart.

Sarah agrees that JD shouldn’t have called Devyn a college dropout, which yeah, he probably shouldn’t have, but now was reallyyyyy not the best time to get involved. Ya know...since the original conversation was about her being judgmental, especially in situations that don’t involve her. Sarah and Devyn then bond in the confessional.

Now Blayne is back to talking about Katelynn being transgender and how she should just tell the house. Ryan decides that he needs to be more aggressive with the situation.

He brings a chair into the room where Katelynn is on the computer, and says “You’re like a big mystery and I’d love to learn more about you”. Haha, it’s actually a nice enough thing to say, but it totally sounds like he’s hitting on her. He then just straight up asks her if she was born a guy. She confirms that she was, but says that she didn’t want people to know right away because she didn’t want people to define her by that. They then talk about the actual procedure, and Ryan seems completely freaked out by what the surgery entails. Apparently Katelynn spent $30,000 on the procedure. Ryan has lots of questions about it. We find that “orgasms are just as great now as they were back then”. Good for her. Ryan compares her to Pinocchio, which actually isn’t a bad comparison, exactly. Ryan tells Katelynn that they guys all know, so yeah, can we be done with the whole Katelynn telling people she’s transgender thing?

Katelynn’s glad that she and Ryan had their talk, but she’s kind of disappointed that people could tell so easily that she’s transgender. Yeah, that’s got to suck.

Ryan then tells Scott that Katelynn knows that they all know. Scott keeps going on about how she should have told them, and apparently Ryan’s talk with Katelynn helped, because he defends her reasons for not telling them. Scott is still hurt that she didn’t tell him, because this situation’s obviously all about him.

Sarah apparently told Katelynn that JD outted her to all the guys, and Katelynn’s pretty upset about it. To be fair, the guys already basically knew. Katelynn’s mad at JD, which I definitely get.

Later, JD comes up to Katelynn and says he had nothing to do with Ryan going to her about stuff. Katelynn calls bullshit on that one, and that’s the end of that.

Now we see heartwarming shots of Katelynn bonding with Ryan and Scott, as the boys talk about how much better the situation is and how they’ll like BFF now. But...would they let Katelynn ride in the boys car? I mean...she did used to be a guy...

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Real World: Brooklyn (Episode 4) Recap

Last week on the Real World: Brooklyn, Ryan and Baya flirted, Katelynn had boyfriend problems, and the girls and Ryan pole danced. This week I better see some drama or I am going to be pissed. I am quickly losing interest in these losers. PLEASE let the fighting begin…

Spoilers after the jump.

To start this episode, Devyn tells the group what she wants to do with her life. She says she wants to move to LA after this because in NYC she would get pushed into Broadway, and that is not where she wants to be. And what she means by this is that she wants to be famous. JD thinks she’s just being young and naïve, and is just doing whatever she wants. Yes, but you’re all on The Real World, so isn’t that sort of a pot-kettle situation?

The roommates are going to a swanky private party and Ryan is having some issues with having to dress up. “Where are we going? A golf club?” he asks incredulously. He decides to go uberfancy and so he wears a sport coat and handlebar mustache. Nice. Alex, Scott’s model friend, was at the party and Blayne tried out his game on her. Ryan was not optimistic, but Blayne did seem to somewhere with her.

Next, we see JD take a phone message for Sarah from a very rude, insistent man. Sarah’s not there because she’s shopping with Chet and Katelynn. Sarah questions Katelynn’s taste, which happens to be small, trashy, and tight. It’s probably not the best combo, and I totally agree with Sarah. Personal style be damned, I don’t want to see any more booty shorts out of this girl!

In the car on the way home, Blayne pushes Sarah buttons about domestic abuse without knowing how close to home he’s hitting. She tells Blayne that her father hit and sexually abused her and that she would never let him back in her life. I’m guessing this is somehow related to the phone call from Pushy-Man.

Back at the house, the man calls again, who happens to be her father. I am not very surprised. Rightly, Sarah tells him never to call her again and eventually hangs up on him after he tells her that she is playing into her mother’s lies and distortions.

After she hangs up, Baya comforts her. Sarah can’t understand how he got the number, and calls her mother for guidance. He mother helps her, tells her to have her roomies screen her calls, and tells her not to be a victim. It really seems to help.

Later on at a bar, JD introduces Blayne to Angelique, who he describes as a better transsexual than Katelynn, thereby confirming to Blayne that Katelynn is transsexual. Smooth move. He also introduces Angelique to Devyn and says that Angelique was on American Idol and says that she sings 100 times better than Devyn. Wow, JD is on fire tonight. Angelique sings to the crowd, and pulls Devyn onto the stage with her. Devyn is pissed, but sings anyways.

Sarah tells Katelynn that JD basically outed her being transgender. Katelynn confronts JD about it and he makes incomprehensible noises.

Next, we see Devyn still mad about the previous night. She said it was the most awkward thing she’s ever done in her life. She talks to JD about it and says that what he did was, “so disrespectful, dismissive, and dismeaning.” JD blames it on the alcohol and Devyn’s not having it. She tells him she’ll never see him the same, and he says she should be mad at Angelique, if any one. That’s a great idea JD! I’m sure laying the blame on someone else will make Devyn feel better. Devyn refuses to hug JD after they talk it out.

Later, Devyn then meets with her aunt who is in The Color Purple and she gets Devyn in contact with a casting director.

Alex calls Blayne and they mmake a date, sans Scott tagging along, which was much discussed.

Sarah’s dad has called again, and says that there is no reason that she shouldn’t talk to him. She hangs up on him again and still hasn’t seemed to get through to him.

Sarah tells Devyn that she had been molested at a daycare center, so she got therapy and counseling. After he parents separated, her dad took her camping and only brought one sleeping bag. She left and hasn’t talked to her dad since, and has been trying to press charges.

Alan Filderman, the casting director, calls Devyn and sets up an audition with him. She has to have a couple of monologues and a song prepared.

Next, we hear Devyn practicing her acapella song, The Star Spangled Banner. She’s actually good, much better than at the bar during her sing-off with Angelique. She’s feeling a little nervous, but definitely excited. On the way to her interview, she accidentally drives to New Jersey. Ouch, that’s rough. First of all she’ll be late, and second of all she has to go to Jersey. Yikes. She ends up more than 45 minutes late. He lets her audition anyway and then tells her that he’ll let her know if anything comes up.

Sarah talks to her mom on the phone and they talk about how she wants to work at an organization that helps victims of sexual abuse. She’s very passionate about it, and it’s definitely a better goal than most of these guys have. Later, she volunteers at a nonprofit art mentor program. She mentors a girl names Sapphire who she obviously gets along with and promised to go again.

Next, Blayne almost gets stood up by Alex for their date. He’s happy to be out with her because it makes him feel good that she’s pretty. She’s 19 and more experienced than him. She says that one day she will sleep over with him and Blayne remarks to the camera, “The fact that Alex is willing to sleep over with me. I can tell that she’s sexually attracted to me, and that’s natural.” Is it? Really? I beg to differ.

When Blayne gets back, Ryan tells him he’s wasting his time since he can’t see himself marrying her. It’s Ryan’s belief that dating should only be a stepping stone to marriage. So, he see himself marrying Michelle Ma Belle, but he thinks that sometime down the line something could happen with Baya. So he wants to cheat on his future wife? Hmmmmm…

Katelynn complains that she hasn’t orgasms in a while, and that leads to questions to Blayne from Katelynn and Sarah. It comes out that he doesn’t masturbate, have oral sex, and he has never touched a boob. Don’t worry about it, though, because the nocturnal emissions take care of everything. Sleep on that one.

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Real World: Brooklyn (Episode 3) Recap

Last week on the Real World: Brooklyn, Baya danced, Blayne made JD mad with his pranks, and Blayne’s mom accused him of stealing her eyeliner. It was by no means enthralling, but I have hope that this season will get more interesting when people stop being polite…and start getting real. Please fight, please fight…please!

Spoilers after the jump.

To start this episode, Baya talks about how well she and Ryan get along, and then we see the two of them sitting there while Ryan plays guitar. We get to see more of Ryan’s wonderful singing. I particularly enjoy when he hits the high notes. He says that if anyone was his type it would be Baya, “She’s cute. She is cute. She has a rockin’ body.” And Baya finds him attractive when he plays music, because she likes horrible singers, I suppose. Ryan talks to his girlfriend about how he wants to record his music.

The roomies go to a bar owned by Pete Wentz, which I guess means that Ryan can meet industry people there. If it’s good enough for Pete Wentz…? Ryan meets a guy named Doug Newman, who is a producer for a company called Crush and is, according to Ryan, “a traffic cop in the music biz.” Wow, sounds official. Next...random shots of Baya and Ryan kind of flirting, but not really.

Later that night, Katelynn is having trouble with her boyfriend, Mike. He’s not communicating in any way. He is probably busy having a fivesome. She should just lay off in my opinion. The roommates get home, and Devyn and Katelynn are talking about her boyfriend, who apparently hasn’t called or emailed her since she’s been there. Devyn says to talk to him, but Katelynn says their relationship is about them not talking to each other about their feelings or something. Doesn’t she want to spend the rest of her life with this guy? Good luck with that...

Ignoring Devyn’s completely logical advice, Katelynn calls Mike and DOESN’T talk about what’s bothering her. He is very curt on the phone when she talks to him, and this is apparently the first time she’s talked to him since she’s been there because she told him how many roommates she has. Baya is naturally surprised that he didn’t even ask Katelynn any questions.


Luckily for me, we next get to see Scott “flirt” with Devyn by hitting her with pieces of raw meat. That’s just so sweet. Scott says he flirts with lots of girls, I assume because the camera guys asked questions about him flirting with Devyn.

Later, while talking to Devyn, Sarah predicts that within 30 days Scott will tell another housemate that he has a thing for Devyn. They make a bet on it and Sarah is very confident. Within 10 seconds of the bet she says, “That was the easiest $30 I’ve ever made.” Let’s not count our chickens before they hatch, Sarah.

Ryan, Blayne, and Baya all head to Crush Management, where the guy Ryan met works. He’s going to try to help them all out in the industry. Apparently Blayne wants to get into hosting of some sort. What kind of hosting exactly? I heard LOGO’s looking for some talented young men. The people at Crush say they might be able to give Blayne some work interviewing bands for their website. Baya has given up on her dream of dancing, and instead wants to be a DJ, and they hook her up with someone to teacher her how to do it. Doug is going to hook Ryan up with “machine,” whatever that is. I haven’t a clue. Man...no wonder so many fame-whores/wannabe celebrities come on this show. They get completely hooked up, even though they do NOTHING/aren’t talented. Greedy much, guys?

Back at the house Ryan sings a beautiful song about a girl that cheated on her husband who was in Iraq with Ryan. Mostly it sounded like “Liiiiar. Liiiiar. Please don’t lie to me anymore.”

Now we’re at some club, and Baya is getting spinning lessons. Shouldn’t she practice at home first? Don’t subject everyone to your suckiness. Katelynn gets really drunk and grinds all over a bunch of guys and then makes out with a girl. I wonder how these people will react when/if they find that out that she’s transgender. Katelynn doesn’t feel bad about it because she feels her boyfriend doesn’t care about her anyways. When Devyn suggests that maybe she should just break up with him. Katelynn replies, “Because I actually love the son of a bitch.” Ahhhh, love.


Ryan is going to play for Machine, who it turns out is a person. Blayne gives him good advice such as, “Play well today.” and “Don’t fuck it up.” Once, they’re there, Ryan talks about his life and then sings a song we wrote with his army buddies while he was wasted. The song is about tampons. Nice choice, that’ll impress Machine. Machine tells Ryan that he’s lovable, writes lovable music, but that he’s in the wrong spot. Ryan thinks that maybe he shouldn’t have played the tampon song.

When Ryan gets home, Baya runs into his room and wants to now all about his meeting with Machine and he doesn’t want to share much and is obviously upset about what happened.

We now see JD for the first time, but he doesn’t say anything, just stands in the background. Devyn has made a BFFometer for her and Scott, who just stands there as she shows it to him. I am not exactly clear what it is, but I do know it includes levels such as “Co-Pilot”, “Masseuse”, and “Dutch Oven”. Somehow this sheet of paper will determine if they can have more than a friendship, or if they’ll just be stuck in a “Dutch Oven” their whole lives. Sounds very scientific and like something a 4th grader would make.


Alex, Scott’s model friend comes to visit, and Devyn tries to dress herself up because she jealous, I mean annoyed, I apologize Devyn. The whole group goes out and Scott feels like a pimp with a model on one arm and Devyn’s boobs on the other. Devyn tells Scott he needs to date a black girl, and this confuses him. What could she mean? He just can’t understand.

Blayne likes the model enough to “give her two weeks,” but somehow she doesn’t seem to want the same. But he was so nice telling the camera that she would be worth two weeks of his life… He conspicuously walks by shirtless and pops his pecks to an aloof Alex.

Devyn is talking to her friend on the phone and tells her that she is getting mixed signals and wants Scott to “pick a side.” I think that, if pressed, Scott would pick a side that Devyn would not be too pleased about.

While out, Ryan and Baya were dancing together and out of nowhere he tells Baya to lay off since he has a girlfriend. Baya gets offended, so she goes and hangs all over Blayne, to prove she does that with all guys, I guess? Ryan later apologizes. Baya make is clear that there is nothing sexual between her and Ryan.

Scott shows Sarah a picture of a girl from back home, Marissa, who he is, apparently, very much in love with. Scott tells her that he didn’t tell anyone because it will all become clear anyway. Devyn is obviously surprised because Scott told her he was single. MTV proves it by showing the clip. Take that, Scott! Devyn wakes Scott to tell him that he is sending mixed signals to “some girls” and “some girls” might take his hugs to mean more than Scott thinks they do. “Some girls” is not a reference to herself, I’m sure.

Katelynn tries to call her boyfriend and he doesn’t answer. She hasn’t communicated with him in ages and she feels like she might have had enough. She and Sarah have a nice talk and Sarah tells Katelynn that she is being such a girl, which is a big compliment to Katelynn, natch. Katelynn then cries herself to sleep. I think that she’s too good for the guy if he’s going to be an asshole to her, personally.


Some of the roomies go to Manhattan to a bar called Matchless and Katelynn meets a guy named Matt there. She goes out on a date with the guy. Katelynn tells JD about it and we get to heard JD talk for the first time this episode. His scene lasts about 15 seconds. Katelynn’s date with Matt goes well and she finds that they are hitting it off. He’s much better looking than Mike, that’s for sure. Katelynn wants everyone’s opinion about Matt, so she brings him back to the house. At the end of that date, all Katelynn wants is to talk to Mike.


The girls are taking a pole dancing class and Ryan decides to go with them wearing 80s attire. While there, Baya and Ryan check each other out and Baya tells the camera that they flirt and Ryan writes an email to her professing his feelings. He says that he likes her but can’t do anything about it at this point in his life. He ends it with “but someday...I’m not canceling it out.” Damn. How’s Michelle my Belle going to feel about that? I know I’d be pretty damn pissed. Baya doesn’t even know how to react. Devyn reacts by telling Baya that she should make a BFFometer. We all saw how well that worked with Scott.

Core Four:

Ryan: He may suck at singing, but he’s pretty funny (not so much the tampon song), but at least he’s trying.

Katelynn: We think she should just dump her loser boyfriend. If she would just stop dwelling on that, we would like her even more.

Sarah: Though she hasn’t had any drama herself, she seems to be the go-to girl for advice, and it’s usually good.

Baya: She handled the whole Ryan situation pretty well, and we have to give her credit for that. Plus, she recognizes that Katelynn's boyfriend is ridiculous.

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Real World: Brooklyn (Episode 2) Recap

Last week on the Real World we met the eight strangers who were picked to live in a house, have their lives taped, and find out what happens when they stop being polite and start getting real. JD was cool. Ryan was homophobic, Baya was nothing, Scott had abs, and Katelynn didn’t tell her roommates she was transgender. This episode is called “The Outs and Ins of Brooklyn” so I can only assume Katelynn will reveal that’s she transgender to more of the housemates.

Spoilers after the jump.

To start the episode Blayne finds lube and an XL condom in JD’s stuff and proceeds to ask JD all sorts of questions about his sex life. I’m pretty sure Blayne’s just trying to see JD’s penis...because you know, he’s straight. JD tells Blayne that he is not his boyfriend, and Blayne is secretly hurt. After their exchange, Blayne continues to obsess about the size of JD’s penis. Suuure you’re not gay.


Sarah is doing Katelynn’s hair. They apparently get along really well, and Katelynn tells her that she’s transgender. Sarah doesn’t see it as a big deal. She’s very supportive, which makes me like her more. No surprises there.

We hear a doorbell ring and Ryan yells that someone should answer it. It is then revealed that it is actually an alarm clock that Ryan is holding and then proceeds to send JD on a wild goose chase as they try to determine who is there all while Ryan and Blayne yell for them to answer it with increasing exasperation.

“So, the lame bus just pulled into our kitchen and dropped off yet another discussion.” Wow, discussions, that must suck, Ryan. Sarah shoots of crap about how there should be a modern Renaissanst, whatever that is, and something about Egyptians, while Ryan looks on in disgust. We also get little gems such as Katelynn’s, “the polytheists knew how to get down” and “everyone wants to save the porpoises, no one gives a shit about the tuna.” The discussion ends with Sarah and Katelynn deciding they should teach a class and write a book.


In the next showing of the housemates’ maturity, someone put a banana in a condom in the fish tanks, killing all the fish. Speculation indicates that it was either Blayne, or Ryan and Blayne. JD is very pissed about this because it means Blayne must have been going through is things. I agree that it is not that funny, but perhaps someone is inordinately upset about this. Sarah, JD, and Devyn decide Sarah should lecture Blayne about it.

Blayne doesn’t take this confrontation very well and calls the rest of the housemates judgmental, and that’s coming from the Mormon. He says he didn’t go through any of JD’s stuff and that the condom was his own (couldn’t JD tell that wasn’t an XL?). I think Blayne is probably telling the truth because we saw no clips of this happening. That just seems like something the producers would want to show. The two of them end the argument in agreement, I guess, but they both still seem pissed off.

Now we move on to Baya, Katelynn, and Sarah going to an Afro-Caribbean dance class. Shots of Baya dancing well and Sarah and Katelynn looking terribly awkward follow. Is it just me, or is this episode kind of boring?

On the way back from the dance class, Katelynn comes out as transgender to Baya. Three down, four to go. Katelynn tells them that she has no intention of ever telling Blayne and Ryan. For some reason they think that they’re immature and would make tasteless jokes. Why would they think that?

Baya has decided to audition at the Hip Hop Dance Conservatory. She’s trying to get everything in order, and is all stressed about it, and she’s nervous because she feels like is not experienced enough. Ryan is also feeling nervous about auditioning and says, “Dude, I don’t have a chance in hell of making it on that dance team. You...kinda do.” I liked that.

In another example of Blayne not being gay, he wears eyeliner for the housemate trip to the gay area of NYC. Blayne laments that he gets hit on by gay guys all the time, wonder why?


While at the gay bar Ryan looks extremely uncomfortable but when JD offers Ryan $100 to dance with the drag queen, Miss Peppermint, he accepts. When he doesn’t dance at all, they change the bet to a kiss on the cheek. When he gets a lip full instead, the roommate flips out and Ryan looks horrified. Ryan proceeds to brush his teeth 5 times.

The roomies are happy for Ryan that he’s opening up. Ryan calls his girlfriend and tells her they need to talk. He tells her that he kissed someone and after she tells Ryan she hates him, he tells her that it was a drag queen.


Time for Baya’s audition. Baya gets put on the spot with questions by Safi, the drill-sergeant dance instructor. She felt like she wasn’t in tune with the music and didn’t do well. Based on all the “fun” they had at the audition, she’d probably be lucky not to get in.


Now Blayne’s family is visiting...his mom, sisters, and brother. They’re all very Aryan. They think it’s “way cool” that JD is a dolphin trainer. Later on in the car Blayne and Ryan tell Blayne’s mom that he’s gay and she remarks, “Well that’s why he’s so nice!” During her tearful departure, she reminds Blayne not to wear eyeliner again.

It ends up that Baya did get in to the Hip Hop Dance Conservatory, but decided not to do it. Good decision.

JD comes home shitfaced from a bar ranting about people who don’t speak English at the drugstore he went to. He tried to get chapstick and the lady thought he wanted cigarettes. Blayne calls him rude, and that’s definitely something coming from Blayne. Blayne got upset that JD was being rude to an immigrant and a fight ensued. JD ends the fight with, “Go read your Bible. Goodnight.” The next day Blayne decides to let JD go for it because he was drunk at the time of the incident.

JD hooks Baya up with a choreographer he knows. Baya looks like she feels more comfortable and happy in this environment.


JD opens up to Blayne about his childhood. He’s the youngest of five, and all of them have different fathers. JD was the only one to graduate from high school and go college. They share a nice, bonding moment that closes off the episode.

So, this was not exactly the most exciting episode of the Real World I’ve ever seen. Hopefully, things will get more dramatic soon because I can only watch so much of Blayne’s pranks and Baya dancing in a studio. Maybe we’ll even see the mysterious eigth roommate, the elusive Scott. I, personally, don’t think he even exists.

Core Four:
This week we had an easier time thinking of our Core Four. Maybe these attention whores are growing on us.


Sarah: She seems to get along with everyone, and she handled Katelynn coming out to her really well. Plus, despite our general dislike for people covered in tattoos, we think she's pretty okay.

Ryan: He may have come across homophobic last week, but this week he seems more open minded. We definitely appreciated that. Plus he’s funny.

Baya: She hasn’t really done anything controversial, but it’s nice to see someone actually pursue their dreams while on the show instead of hoping they’ll fall in their lap.

JD: Even if he is a slurring drunk who hates on immigrants, he’s probably the most likable of the housemates, scary, huh?

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It's official...Chet IS Blayne

So, after watching the Real World: Brooklyn, we noticed an uncanny resemblance between Real Worlder Chet Cannon and the flamboyant Blayne Walsh of Project Runway fame.


Besides the obvious physical similarities, they both have a penchant for neon colors, sewing, and artful hair styling. At first we thought it was just a coincidence, but we're onto you, Blayne. That's one way to prolong your 15 minutes of fame...

We'll now officially be referring to Chet as Blayne.

Is there anything after the jump?

No.

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Real World: Brooklyn (Episode 1) Recap

Welcome to the Real World: Brooklyn. This is season 21. Holy crap, that means that there are at least 148 psychopaths on the loose not even counting replacements. This season we move into Brooklyn. With so many seasons they must be running out of real places to live. I’d feel gypped if I was on this season while other people got to live in Paris, Sydney, San Diego, Las Vegas, hell, even Philly. Now lets meet some truly awful human beings.

Spoilers after the jump.

Ryan- 23- His first and second kiss were on the same day? That’s revolutionary. In a barn? So this guy’s the hick of the group? It should be interesting seeing him deal with Iraq. Perhaps he’ll do so by singing shirtless in army pants. I have a feeling that he might not have quite moved past that yet as evidenced by his apparent rage issues.

Katelynn- 24- OK, I was about to comment that she was manly looking, but never mind. A transgender in Montana, how’s that working out for you? I’d pack up and go to Brooklyn too.

Chet- 23- Sewing? So is he the gay one? Or wait, Blayne is that you? How clever of him to go on another reality show with a different name. This guy is afraid that he’s going to get shot in Brooklyn. Well, the neon color clothing isn’t exactly camouflaging you in.

Devyn- 20- She’s a beauty queen... does not bode well. This one is only 20, but how will she party? Now, Devyn said, “You have better chance of getting into heaven than getting into Devyn.” I’ll try to believe you but I have a feeling heaven is about to get a little fuller, wait, or hell? This is so confusing!

Blayne and Devyn are the first two to meet. We find out Blayne is Mormon, could have seen that coming since he’s from Salt Lake City. Blayne said it was a breath of fresh air to meet Devyn, and I’m not quite sure what that even means, nor do I want to.

Baya- 21- For a girl named Baya (Baya, seriously) she seems pretty normal, must be some crazy under there. OK, just saw her dancing, and now understand exactly why she’s here.


Baya and Ryan meet up and Ryan admits that he assumed that Baya was Mormon because she’s from Salt Lake City. Thanks Ryan, I agree, that’s why I (correctly) assumed Blayne was Mormon. In conclusion, Baya’s lying, everyone from Utah is Mormon. Ryan has already asserted that Baya “gets him” after meeting for 5 seconds.

Sarah- 22- Tons of tattoos, yuck, bad first impression. Wait, she said that she was the complete opposite… of tattoos, what does that even mean? All those tattoos are a complete waste because she would be a cute girl without them.

JD- 22- JD tells us that part of the reason he came onto the Real World was to try to get a family from the experience. Good luck buddy.

Sarah and JD meet up next and oh boy, JD trains dolphins. Wow! Thank you, God. I wasn’t sure if there was something to make fun of about the guy because he seemed normal. Real World is the best…where did they find this guy? An arrogant dolphin trainer… that’s rich. OK, bad first impression of Sarah but if she wants to help victims of abuse she can’t be all bad, right? According to Sarah this is the first guy she’s dated after only dating girls, and he’s “the one”. I hope she enjoyed the Gay Conversion Camp her mom sent her to. And JD’s gay too, which Sarah is very excited about! This is the gayest Real World I’ve ever seen; even a (supposedly) straight guy sews.

Scott- 23- “I work in a gym” were the first word from his mouth and I already know exactly what kind of guy he is. Plus he’s from New Hampshire and because (and only because) I don’t want to offend anyone from New Hampshire because they scare the shit out of me, I won’t comment on his accent. Actually, screw it, I hate New Hampshire accents.


So now Scott and Katelynn (who, by the way, obviously chose her own name and thus has no excuse for the stupid spelling) meet up. I hope people are OK with the fact that Katelynn is transgender but I get the feeling this might cause some awkward talks, particularly with Mormon Blayne or Hick Ryan. Scott and Katelynn seem to be getting along well enough, but we’ll see after he finds out.

So who gets to see the house first and get the best rooms? The winners are… Blayne and Devyn. Cue the montage of the house. They seem surprised that the house is huge. Really? Have they ever seen the show before?

Time for awkward questions! Devyn admits she thought that Blayne might be gay and Blayne thinks it’s really funny because he’s definitely not…. uhhh. Ok.

More roommates come in, including an overexcited Baya who might have had some sort of attack. Ryan has never met a “Chet” before and also thinks that he’s gay. Ryan thinks Scott looks like him but “not ripped or anything,” but Ryan can’t really keep a straight face for that line. I think I just might like Ryan. “My first impressions of Katelynn: There’s something definitely different about her.” How right you are, Ryan!

Sarah and JD show up next and Katelynn brilliantly figures out that there’s 8 roommates. She’s so good at counting. Ryan, the oh-so-observant one, thinks that JD is “well-kept looking” which must mean he’s, gasp, metrosexual.

First real confessional of the season goes to Sarah, who, in a shocking twist, is excited. She continues on to wow me with this one, “My book of life has such dynamic new characters. It’s going to be the best story ever written.” Well, you’ll have to be the one to tell that to The Fast and The Furious: Tokyo Drift screenwriter, bitch.

Baya and Scott are roommates because Scott prefers to room with a girl since they’re cleaner, but, Scott, did you forget that JD is “well-kept”? Katelynn and Devyn room together because Devyn claims they clicked from the beginning. An airhead beauty queen and a down-to-earth transgender, it’s a match made in heaven, which incidentally is easier to get into than Devyn. On second thought, maybe they bonded over their penchant for putting Y's in places they don't belong, specifically, their names. The next roommate set is Sarah and JD, who actually did seem to click from the beginning. Finally, we’ve got Blayne and Ryan rooming together. Ryan says he’s glad that Blayne’s his roommate and I’m not very surprised by this pairing.

As the roommates are unpacking, Ryan throws out this little gem about his girlfriend (who I can only assume based on past seasons he’ll cheat on) “Her name is Michelle, but I call her Belle because I’m a big Beatles fan.” OK then. We find out Blayne’s a virgin. I don’t think we’ve had one of those on the show since Lacey from Real World: Austin. And that was six seasons ago. This one is a rare gem.

Scott happily tells everyone that he won a Best Abs on the East Coast Contest. Seems prestigious. I’ll be sending my congratulatory flowers later. Dervyn thinks Scott’s the hottest in the house, and I disagree with her. First of many disagreements I’m sure. For the record, it’s Ryan.

Ryan correctly guesses that Katelynn is transgender but the rest of the housemates are shocked that he would say that and screech, screech I tell you, “NO!” I’m sure Katelynn herself wouldn’t have been so offended, although I’m not sure transgenderish is the look most transgender people are going for.

Hot tub time, a first episode of Real World classic. Ryan can’t look Devyn in the eyes because he’s looking straight into her boobs. He asks if fake boobs float differently and she shimmies and bounces her breasts. Wait, isn’t Devyn harder to get into than heaven? Blayne, the virgin, says that she is just asking for someone to touch them. God’s definitely OK with that as long as you don’t have sex with her.

Some of the guys now discuss how there’s something different about Katelynn. All of them but Blayne think she’s transgender, and Ryan is inordinately proud of the fact that he was the first to call it, as if transgender spotting is some sort of game (unlike Sight the Lady of the Night, which is). Blayne just thinks that she’s a manly looking girl and quips “Dude, she played with my nipple.” Wait, that was OK when she was a girl? Is this going to be the whole episode because, um, boring? Katelynn you clearly have a man voice, just tell people the truth so we can move on.

We get some great shots of group bonding, such as playing Rock Band (Published by MTV games, get yours for only $139.99) and doing gymnastics moves, just the usual.

It comes out that Katelynn has had a fivesome and she explains the downsides such as having to “worry about what goes where,” that there’s always “something that’s not being attended to,” and “it’s just a mess. I’ll consider myself warned. Classic reaction shots from Ryan. Now where in Montana is Katelynn from again?

Katelynn calls her mom and comments that she’s “sort of” the only LGBT person there because she clearly doesn’t understand what LGTB stands for. I mean, she goes on to describe Sarah as bisexual. Isn’t that the B in LGBT?

Ryan is talking on the phone with his girlfriend Michelle ma Belle and she asks him if it’s split 4 girls 4 guys. His response is “sort of”. Ryan just can’t seem to get over the Katelynn thing. I must reiterate, Katelynn, everyone knows, just say your transgender. If this drags on for more than one episode I will not be a happy camper. I can only take so much of this. I would be fine with watching people’s reactions to the fact that Katelynn is transgender, her dealing with their reactions, her own emotions, or anything else possibly related to the fact that she’s transgender, but this will she, won’t she tell them thing has gotten old.


The roommates go out to explore Brooklyn, see some crappy live music, and dance together awkwardly. Devyn that she announces that she has a crush on Scott in case we hadn’t picked up on that yet. Apparently he’s a sweetheart, but I guess MTV is sneakily hiding that side of him to us. At this point Ryan get totally wasted. JD handles the situation really well and has his back without being self-righteous about it. He even got him to drink water, not such an easy thing to do, trust me.


Sarah and Ryan had a really nice talk about Ryan’s time in Iraq. From what he says, he’s dealing with it pretty well, but you can tell that there are some issues that he still has to work out about it. Ryan shows her the book transcript he wrote about his experiences. I didn’t even know that any of these people had the capacity to read. Despite myself, I have to admit, that was actually a nice moment. I guess that was the human interest part of the episode.


Back to the fluff. Blayne plays guitar and Ryan coincidentally also plays, and luckily for my eardrums, he sings too. So, maybe he should stick to just guitar. Blayne agrees and politely tells him he should pursue a career in songwriting, smooth. Now Blayne and Ryan write a little ditty about the 8 roommates. Probably the highlight of the show. Scott’s song consist of his love of working out and eating (healthy food only) with lines including “Scott ate roast beef, and cut off the fat.” Next they cover Blayne’s latent homosexuality which Blayne describes as metrosexuality that is “not a sin”. Girlicious!

Now back to the drawn out story line that should just end already. Ryan looks to check if he can see Katelynn’s balls in her pink underwear. I suppose one of the many, many reasons why I will never be on the Real World is that I would never prance about in my underwear 2 days after I had met people, package or not. Katelynn is worried about telling the roommates because she thinks Blayne and Ryan wouldn’t be very accepting. I can’t imagine why she would think that. JD invited her to dinner and I can only assume he is going to come out to her and hoping she will reciprocate. I would like to point out the great editing job by MTV. A shot of JD ironing while Ryan says something is off about him, subtle. Ryan thinks he has amazing gaydar which is going off hard-core when JD is around. Blayne says he doesn’t have gaydar, which might be why he doesn’t realize that he himself is gay.

At this point we get to see Ryan, Blayne, and JD discuss Katelynn and Ryan calls her “it”. Definitely not OK, with me or JD. While Blayne is showering, he tells a gayfaced Scott about JD and Katelynn going out to dinner and Scott still doesn’t think Katelynn was born male. Really? She has a man voice, is muscular, taller than you, and recently went to Thailand. Let’s put 2 and 2 together Scott, c’mon!


JD and Katelynn have a nice conversation in the cab about their lives. JD had a rough childhood, and Katelynn didn’t have it much better. As predicted, JD comes out and Katelynn tells him she’s transgender. Cue the crying and warm embrace. This is sweet and all but… ummm… when are they going to go party? Isn’t this the Real World? If someone would just scream “You don’t know me!” at someone else while being held back by another roommate I would feel a lot more at ease.

We end with montage of the divided house. Team LGBT (Katelynn and JD), Bigot City (Blayne and Ryan), The Neglected (Baya and Sarah), and Dumbassville (Devyn and Scott). Let the bloodbath begin.

Core Four
Now, I have to start out by saying that this is the Real World, and though there’s an extra person on this season, eight is slim pickings with these people.


JD: Besides his hilarious profession, he seems to be the most normal castmate. He took care of drunkass Ryan and handles the Katelynn situation like a pro. Not too bad for a Real Worlder.

Sarah: She’s not yet been annoying and actually seems like she might be a decent human being. Now, if she would just get those nasty tattoos removed.

Baya: It’s not so much that we like her, but more that she’s had about 40 seconds of screen time. We’ll reserve judgment until we actually hear her speak.

Katelynn: We’re so sick of the drama about whether she’ll tell people she’s transgender, but she’s not an idiot (Devyn and Scott) or homophobic (Ryan and Blayne), so she seemed the natural choice for the Core Four.

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