Core Four Reasons Heidi Klum is in our Core Four

1. She might not say it anymore, but "Models, this is also a competition for you as well" was pretty much the best line on any reality show. Her lack of knowledge of the English language is endearing.

2. No one does short, tight, and shiny dresses like Heidi. In fact, no one even tries.

3. Anyone who puts Tim Gunn on their show is obviously some sort of genius. The world owes Heidi oh so much for bringing him to us.

4. She has the most classic critiques. "She looks like a fat Minnie Mouse" and "It looked like she was pooing fabric," for example. She articulates what we're all thinking.

Readers, this is also a post for you as well. See more of it after the jump.

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Core Four Reasons Chris Harrison is in our Core Four

1. Even though he has limited screen time, he steals the show every time he's on screen.

2. No one can say “This is the final rose” with the intensity that he does.

3. You have to give the man credit. He doesn’t have a problem making any of the bachelorettes/bachelors uncomfortable on The Women/Men Tell All.

4. He's actually pretty funny, which you'll notice if you pay attention to him interviewing The Bachelors.

See more of Chris Harrison's mad crazy hosting skillz after the jump.

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Core Four Reasons Jeff Probst is in our Core Four

1. He's one of those guys that really believes in his show. Like...he'd watch Survivor even if he didn't host it.

2. He doesn't let the castaways bullshit him at tribal council and always pulls the truth out of them eventually.

3. He doesn't just let the survivors quit. He gives them a hard time about it, as he should.

4. You gotta give a guy who hooks up with one of the former contestants props. Let's see Seacrest pull that one off.

See pictures of Jeff, host with the most, after the jump.

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Core Four Reasons Tyra Banks is in our Core Four

1. No other host aspires to be the center point of their show. It takes cahones.

2. She invented fierce before Christian Siriano was even born.

3. Who wants to let the contestants be the only ones to take pictures when you can have one taken of yourself every week?

4. She's Tyra-frickin-Banks. No one can match her level of crazy/fierceness.

See more fierceness after the jump.

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Poll Results Week 2 (The Bachelor: Jason Mesnik)

This week we had mixed results in our poll. We asked which moment (from a group of moments we selected) you all thought that Jason wouldn't want to show Ty. I think we can all agree he probably doesn't want to show most, if not all, of it to the poor kids. The moment that you guys thought was worst, though, was Natalie's Limo Rant, after Jason had dumped her off in Vegas. 38% of you thought that showing a clip of an arrogant girl swearing and being self-centered wasn't family friendly.

See the rest of the poll results after the jump.

Was there any horrible moment that we left off the list? And what cringe-worthy things happened on last night's episode that would send Ty running for the hills? I think that Megan and Jason kissing on the soap set was pretty PG-13, but you also can't forget Jason and Molly's tent escapades. What do you guys think?
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The Bachelor: Jason Mesnik (Episode 4) Recap

Previously on the bachelor: Stephanie got to frolic in the ocean with her daughter, the girls made molds of their boobs, Jason looked gooood with his shirt off, and Shannon vomited during the Rose Ceremony. Based on the preview for this episode it looks like Deanna is not in this one, and I am growing antsy. Why did they show us that happening when it was not going happen for like 6 weeks? Don’t tease me like that ABC.

Seems like we’ll have lots of fun drama this episode...a 2-on-1 elimination, girls breaking down, Shannon being creepy. Anyways, let the cryfest begin.

The weeping (and my review/recap) begins after the jump.

The episode begins with Chris Harrison coming out and announce there will be a 1-on-1 date, a group date, and a 2-on-1 date this week. 2-on-1’s are always exciting, because someone goes home. Oooh, fun twist by Chris Harrison, the girls have to compete to win the 1-on-1 date. Copying Deanna’s season, they have to write and perform a song for Jason.

The girls begin to work on their songs. Molly’s going the funny route, which is probably the best idea, and uhhh...we know she wins, so yeah. Stephanie is going all opera-like, which isn’t such a good idea. . Shannon chose to do a rap song, because that’s what Jason did for Deanna, proving that even choosing what genre of music to sing can bring out the creepy in a girl. Lauren thinks she’s a good singer, and is trying to go with a professional sounding song. Uhhh...good luck. Nikki is weeping and whines that being silly is not in her nature. No kidding. She’s going to be an AWESOME stepmom! Kids love people who are too self conscious to have fun!

Now the amazing Chris Harrison calls the girls together to perform. Jason is super excited, because apparently the singing contest was soooo fun last year. I remember it being awkward, at least. My anticipation is for the performances is beginning to grow.

Molly goes first and copies the tune of a song that I can’t recall at the moment. Apparently her song is funny (to the people there, at least), something about fast food. I’m wondering why she wins with that. I’m guessing Jason just picked the person he wanted to spend time with.

Shannon a.k.a. Shanaynay raps, and I actually think hers was kind of cute. But just kind of.

Melissa and Jillian’s songs are nothing worth mentioning (or making fun of).

Megan talks about baby making.

And then there’s Stephanie…wow. Just wow. And she’s dressed like a 12 year old hooker. Wow again.

Lauren announced to the camera that everyone’s song sucked. She’s right. She’s obviously taken this very seriously and her song is clearly the best. If Jason doesn’t pick her (and he doesn’t, since we know Molly gets the 1-on-1 date) than he is not picking his date based on their songs at all.

Nikki, who is sweating like a ho in church, but sounds better than most of them. Although, that’s not saying too much. She wrote a song she would want to sing her baby someday. I don’t think that was the assignment, but whatever. Dude...if she hates singing so much in front of people, maybe she shouldn’t have done a song that was so hard to sing. She wasn’t bad, though.

Now Chris Harrison says it’s time to announce the winner of the date, and Jason picks Molly, which we knew already. . Hmmm…I’m gonna call his bluff. He wanted to have a date with Molly and it really didn’t matter what they sang. Lauren naturally agrees. “I had the best song. And I didn’t get it”. I mean, she’s conceited, but she’s also right.

Molly’s date box comes. “Molly...let’s stay home tonight at my place. J”. The girls are jealous, because they think that will be more what it’s like to be with Jason. Minus the whole camera crew at least.

Molly’s “so nervous she could pee her pants”. The girls sit around awkwardly as Jason picks Molly up. They’re starting to get more and more jealous, I think, which makes sense. The more you connect with someone, the harder it must be to see them dating other people.

Molly’s date is at Jason’s place. This should be chill date and they’ll get to talk a lot I’m sure. Jason wants to know more about Molly besides “all the fun stuff”. They have fast food for dinner. Right away, they get down to serious talking. I have to say, she really needs to lay off the eyeliner. Jason seems to disagree though and thinks her eyes are “stargazing amazing.” I guess…if you’re into raccoons.

Back at the mansion, the group date box arrives. All the girls are praying they’re not going on that 50-percent-chance-you’re-leaving 2-on-1 date. The girls that get the reprieve are Jillian, Lauren, Shannon, Megan, Melissa, and Naomi. “Want to play doctor? –J” That leaves Nikki and Stephanie for the 2-on-1 date. My money’s on Stephanie getting the rose. Nikki begins to cry and stress. She should be fine, though, because this is her natural state.

After eating, Molly puts on some of Jason’s clothes, and they go out to a tent and campfire set up in the back yard and make s’mores. Mmmm. Molly tells Jason that he is just what she wants her husband and the father of her children to be. She tells the camera she’s on the path to falling in love with Jason. They kiss and then he gives her a rose. Molly’s teeth are so white they look like they’re under a black light. They go into the tent to do the nasty.

Shannon decides to wait up for Molly, because well, she’s creepily obsessed with Jason’s every move. Guess it will be a long night for her. We get shots of her asleep on the couch and then shots of the tent with the sound of Molly’s moans. Making a little brother or sister for Ty perhaps?

Jason brings Molly home the next morning, and they seem veryyyy smitten with each other. Watch out Jillian...we may have a new frontrunner. Molly refers to herself as “first girl in Bachelor history to have the walk of shame”. Haha...what an honor. The girls all greet her warmly (or fake warmly) but definitely notice her wearing Jason’s clothes. Side note...what’s up with the purple polka doted robes? Did each of the girls get them? They annoy me. Molly tells the girls she’s so tired that she feels sick, and this upsets the girls who have a date with Jason because they’re getting her tired, sloppy seconds.

Jason shows up for the date, and mentions that he’s all about surprises again. Uh...aren’t all the dates on the Bachelor/Bachelorette surprises. Shannon’s worried, because the last time she spend time with Jason she was crying and throwing up. Good point.

The group date ends up being a trip to the set of General Hospital. It’s Spinelli and Maxie (also known as Zenon, for all you Disney fans out there). I missed their actual names, sorry. I am so glad Maxie has cleaned up her act since she faked a pregnancy and broke up Lucky and Elizabeth’s marriage, which really didn’t need any more help since Elizabeth was pregnant with Jason’s child anyway. I guess Georgie’s death really put things in perspective for her.

Anyway, the group is going to be acting out some scenes. The girls are sent to hair and make-up. I see Shannon with a knife. Obviously, they were type-casting.

The girls show up on set, and Maxie/Zenon and Spinelli are going to give them pointers. Maxie/Zenon wants to teach them about kissing, so she ask for a volunteer and, what do you know, Shannon pretty much vaults herself up there before Maxie/Zenon’s done asking the question. Shannon got to kiss Jason and now she feels a connection. Now? Really? She was acting THAT creepy and didn’t even feel a connection?

“I am a horrible actor,” Jason astutely states. Let the drama begin.

First up is Naomi, who is a maid. She’s sleeping with Jason, who’s married with Lauren. Lauren catches them making out, slaps both of them. They have to do the take about 15 times, which means that Naomi gets to kiss Jason 15 times. In the scene Naomi screams “I’m not a whore” and Melissa, watching, remarks “Oh, I don’t know. I disagree”. I love Melissa.

Next we have a scene with a wig-clad Jillian. She gets to be proposed to in her scene. Melissa is feeling jealous of the other girls kissing Jason. Megan has the next scene, and even her character is profane. She grabs a hold of him and goes nuts.

Next the gang heads to Hollywood for a “wrap-party”. Jason asks the girls the hardest part of the day, and I’m guessing for all of them it was watching all the girls make out with Jason. Naomi sits off by herself pouting, I assume because she wants attention. She claims it’s because she’s having a hard time today, but uh, that’s bullshit. She’s being an attention whore.

Jason takes her off to talk, and Naomi talks about how hard it is for her. And how scared she is. Jason talks about how he thinks they’ll be in each other’s lives forever. Which will be reassuring for Naomi when she gets sent home this episode or next (which will happen if I have my way).

Everyone’s kind of emotional tonight, and Megan, sweet as always, says, “Everyone’s crying, and upset, and emotional, and it’s like, man up!” Apparently she doesn’t think it’s hard, which is weird to me. Who enjoys seeing a guy you like dating other girls? Side note...seriously...why do people go on this show? Jason comments on what a great person Megan is, which isn’t true. And then he doesn’t kiss her, because well, she’s going to go home. Megan thinks she’s completely perfect for him, because clearly she’s an idiot.

Jason goes off with Lauren next, and she talks about how she dominates people. Lauren tells him he better give her the rose that night, and Jason looks pretty put off. Jason says he hears her. Umm...he better not give her the rose on this date. Damn...why do these girls act all normal on one episode and then whip out the crazy on the next one? How am I supposed to figure out which ones I like?

Next, Melissa gets one-on-one time with our bachelor and starts crying and tells Jason that how upset she was proved to herself how much she is really falling for him. She at least is embarrassed of her crying though, which is more than I can say for some of them. They kiss for a while and Melissa interviews that she doesn’t want to fall in love alone. Shannon creepily shows up over Jason’s shoulder, so the moment is kind of officially ended.

Shannon and Jason go off and talk, and apparently Shannon’s family and friends are delusional, because they think she had the perfect personality for this show. Shannon grabs Jason away and tells Jason that he can’t let her go because she has so much to offer. She tells him that she is “putting her heart on her shoulder” and that she wants to meet Ty and begs him to come home with her. I almost can’t watch this, it’s so pathetic. She’s crying and blowing her nose and basically a mess. And then tries to kiss him, which, weirdly enough, he’s not so into. Shannon feels rejected...probably because she was.

Back to the house, and Nikki and Stephanie get their date box. “Let’s dance the night away. J”. Isn’t a dancing date awkward with three people? Stephanie’s excited about the date, and Nikki’s nervous.

Now it’s rose time on the date. Will Lauren get her way? Naomi gets the rose, and the other girls feel like it was a pity rose because she went off and cried in the bathroom every five minutes. Lauren says she feels like an idiot. Then she comments on what type of girl it means he wants if he picks Naomi. I agree. She’s an annoying attention whore. Why is she still there?

Now it’s time for the dreaded two-on-one date. Dresses show up at the house for the girls. Naomi talks about how much the 2-on-1 date sucks. I actually agree with something she says, for once. Stephanie says she’s worried because Nikki’s a beautiful girl and Jason “likes dark hair and dark eyes too, and that’s a concern”. Uhh...doesn’t Stephanie have dark hair and dark eyes too?

Jason is concerned that Nikki stays too in the box and that he might not have a romantic connection with Stephanie. I think Stephanie’s going to win out. But...I don’t get Jason’s taste (Naomi? Really?), so what do I know?

They get to the date location, and whoa, Stephanie’s got boobs. They’re going to learn how to waltz on the date. Aw...both girls look really pretty. Nikki wishes that she would have had weeks or months to prepare for the dancing. Stephanie on the other hand, is a ballet dancer and has even taught dance for years. Nikki says that Jason and Stephanie look like Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers. Man...I really wish Stephanie would tone down the makeup, though. She’s really pretty without all of it. Nikki talks about how she feels like a third wheel, and has the balls to cut in. Nice move. Oooh, and now Stephanie cuts back in. It’s SO on. Stephanie wants to kiss Jason, but refrains because Nikki’s there and well, she has class.

Now Nikki cuts back in. Okay, these women are getting so annoyed with each other, but are trying to pretend they’re not. Oh god. Nikki tells the camera that she wants her turn. “I’ve never been married. I don’t have any children. Stephanie already had a one-on-one date with Jason. She already had a man. She married him, had his daughter, and sadly he died. I want my turn”.

Back at the mansion, the girls talk about who’s coming back to the mansion, and who’s going home. Jillian thinks Stephanie’s staying. Megan wonders if they’ll both go home. I don’t think they will.

In the next part of the date the sit down for dinner and get down to some serious conversation. The fact that Nikki had been in an 11 year relationship comes out and Jason and Nikki have some private time and Nikki opens up even more. Next Jason and Stephanie share private time. I can’t help but wonder what the other one does during the one-on-one time. At least on group dates they have the other girls to talk to.

Now it’s rose time on the date. Aww...I’m going to feel bad for whoever leaves, and by that I mean Nikki. Jason talks about how amazing the two girls are. And then he gives the rose to Stephanie, who looks like she honestly feels really bad for Nikki. Stephanie is probably one of the classiest people to have ever been on the show. Nikki handles the situation with just a little more class than Natalie. Jason looks really upset sending Nikki home, and I still like him, even if he has horrible taste and likes girls like Naomi.

At the mansion, the guy comes in and takes Nikki’s stuff...and damn, she has like four suitcases. Pink ones, too. Cute. The girls seems sad...quite a contrast to last week when Natalie left.

We see shots of Stephanie and Jason together interspersed with Nikki talking about how she’s never god enough or something. Jason and Stephanie dance and she finally gets that kiss she has been hoping for all night. Clearly he’s feeling the spark with her now.

On to the cocktail party before the Rose ceremony. I’m hoping for drama.

Jillian and Jason go off and talk. Jillian talks about how she can handle the situation pretty well. Then they kiss. The girls talk about the two of them, and Megan thinks they don’t have a romantic connection. I wish she was right.

Melissa and Jason talk and she apologizes for crying. She tells him she notices little things like the freckle by his eye and the hole in his ear…oh my god. Did he have his ear pierced? That’s no bueno. Jason and Melissa really seem to have a major connection, which makes me happy since I really like that girl. They kiss, and Melissa talks about how she’s really falling for him.

Megan now talks to Lauren and Stephanie about how she feels like she hasn’t had enough time with Jason. He comes in and takes Megan off to talk. Megan tells the camera she’s best suited for Jason than anyone else, but he doesn’t see realize. Yeah...because Jason is also a crass classless bitch. Megan talks to Jason and actually says OMG in conversation. Not “oh my god”. She actually says the letters OMG. Wow, that’s so embarrassing. Jason shows off the waltz moves he learned to Megan and she’s very excited. They don’t kiss though, again. Hmmm.

Jason talks to Lauren next. Lauren is upset that she didn’t get the rose and tells Jason she is going to slap him for real. She’s clearly not that upset though, because they have their first kiss. Lauren thinks she has the strongest connection with Jason of all the girls. Yeah...that’s not true at all.

The charismatic Chris Harrison comes in then to take Jason away to deliberate. Ooh, I guess we don’t get to see Chris Harrison and Jason talk about the girls, though, which is disappointing. Why cut back on the ridiculously small amount of time we get to see Chris Harrison? Booooo.

Molly, Naomi, and Stephanie already have roses, so they’re obviously staying. I think the other frontrunners are Melissa and Jillian. That leaves Shannon, Megan, and Lauren. Two more are going home. I’m hoping it’s Megan and Jillian, but I’m sure Jillian is staying. I’m thinking it’ll be Megan and Shannon maybe? Or it could be Lauren and Shannon and I just reallyyyy want Megan gone. Wait actually, didn’t the previews imply Jason might send an extra girl home? Are they all going?

Jason tells the girls what an amazing time he’s had, and thanks the girls for everything. And the roses go to...

Melissa (Sir-Cries-A-Lot): I knew it. She may have been insecure this episode, but I still like her.

Jillian (Oh Canada): I still don’t like her. She seems like she tries too hard to be cool and chill and it just comes across fake and annoying. I hope "Dude" drops her ASAP.

Man, the rose ceremonies are getting short. The final rose goes to...

No one. “I’m sorry. I can’t do this. I can’t give out this final rose.” Wow, that means there are only five girls left. It also means that the witch is dead! Yes, that’s right! Megan is gone! He says Megan is amazing, Lauren is honest and real, and Shannon is “a beautiful person”, but he can’t lead the girls on. So yeah, none of them get a rose. I like it. Good twist Jason. I’m definitely not upset those three are going home.

Lauren thinks it’s not fair that Jason “changed the rules up and didn’t give out the last rose”. She apparently thinks Jason should have kept him because she told her how she felt. He went by who he felt a connection with, which was obviously not the way to do it. Shannon, strangely enough, seems to handle it fine. How weird is that? Isn’t she supposed to have some sort of breakdown and drive past Jason’s house every hour? She does talk about making out with her dog, so we do get to see a little bit of that creepy Shannon we all know and love. I hope her puppy enjoys French kisses as much as Shannon seems to. Megan was SURE she was getting the last rose, so she’s very hurt and confused. She handles leaving with more class than I’d expect from her, though, so I give her credit for that.

Jason toasts to the girls left, “the five most wonderful girls I’ve ever met”. Take that, Deanna and Ty’s mom.

Next week: Jason reunites with Ty, takes the girls to Seattle, possibly stands Melissa up (although I doubt it), and Jason and Stephanie go on some radio show. Oooh, and apparently we’ll see “the most dramatic Rose Ceremony ever”. Right. I feel like they’ve claimed that before. Like...every episode.

Oh, and our ending clip is Lauren singing a song about wanting to famous, which gives us great insight onto why she came on the show. week my money’s on Naomi going home. But that could just be because I reallyyyyyyy want her to go. What do you all think?

Core Four
We're basically going with a Core Three now. With only five girls left, a Core Four is pretty much impossible for us. But we're including a fourth AMAZING person. Because it IS called a Core Four...

Melissa: She obviously cares about Jason and she has some of the funniest observations on the show. Definitely our favorite.

Stephanie: She has proven time and again that she has more class than most of the other girls have in the fingernail on their pinky.

Molly: She has proven time and again that she has more class than most of the other girls have in their pinky fingernail.

Chris Harrison: He may not be competing for Jason's love, but judging by how little we see of him, he has to compete for screen time. his blog. He's funny. And clearly a winner in our book.

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Real World: Brooklyn (Episode 3) Recap

Last week on the Real World: Brooklyn, Baya danced, Blayne made JD mad with his pranks, and Blayne’s mom accused him of stealing her eyeliner. It was by no means enthralling, but I have hope that this season will get more interesting when people stop being polite…and start getting real. Please fight, please fight…please!

Spoilers after the jump.

To start this episode, Baya talks about how well she and Ryan get along, and then we see the two of them sitting there while Ryan plays guitar. We get to see more of Ryan’s wonderful singing. I particularly enjoy when he hits the high notes. He says that if anyone was his type it would be Baya, “She’s cute. She is cute. She has a rockin’ body.” And Baya finds him attractive when he plays music, because she likes horrible singers, I suppose. Ryan talks to his girlfriend about how he wants to record his music.

The roomies go to a bar owned by Pete Wentz, which I guess means that Ryan can meet industry people there. If it’s good enough for Pete Wentz…? Ryan meets a guy named Doug Newman, who is a producer for a company called Crush and is, according to Ryan, “a traffic cop in the music biz.” Wow, sounds official. Next...random shots of Baya and Ryan kind of flirting, but not really.

Later that night, Katelynn is having trouble with her boyfriend, Mike. He’s not communicating in any way. He is probably busy having a fivesome. She should just lay off in my opinion. The roommates get home, and Devyn and Katelynn are talking about her boyfriend, who apparently hasn’t called or emailed her since she’s been there. Devyn says to talk to him, but Katelynn says their relationship is about them not talking to each other about their feelings or something. Doesn’t she want to spend the rest of her life with this guy? Good luck with that...

Ignoring Devyn’s completely logical advice, Katelynn calls Mike and DOESN’T talk about what’s bothering her. He is very curt on the phone when she talks to him, and this is apparently the first time she’s talked to him since she’s been there because she told him how many roommates she has. Baya is naturally surprised that he didn’t even ask Katelynn any questions.

Luckily for me, we next get to see Scott “flirt” with Devyn by hitting her with pieces of raw meat. That’s just so sweet. Scott says he flirts with lots of girls, I assume because the camera guys asked questions about him flirting with Devyn.

Later, while talking to Devyn, Sarah predicts that within 30 days Scott will tell another housemate that he has a thing for Devyn. They make a bet on it and Sarah is very confident. Within 10 seconds of the bet she says, “That was the easiest $30 I’ve ever made.” Let’s not count our chickens before they hatch, Sarah.

Ryan, Blayne, and Baya all head to Crush Management, where the guy Ryan met works. He’s going to try to help them all out in the industry. Apparently Blayne wants to get into hosting of some sort. What kind of hosting exactly? I heard LOGO’s looking for some talented young men. The people at Crush say they might be able to give Blayne some work interviewing bands for their website. Baya has given up on her dream of dancing, and instead wants to be a DJ, and they hook her up with someone to teacher her how to do it. Doug is going to hook Ryan up with “machine,” whatever that is. I haven’t a clue. wonder so many fame-whores/wannabe celebrities come on this show. They get completely hooked up, even though they do NOTHING/aren’t talented. Greedy much, guys?

Back at the house Ryan sings a beautiful song about a girl that cheated on her husband who was in Iraq with Ryan. Mostly it sounded like “Liiiiar. Liiiiar. Please don’t lie to me anymore.”

Now we’re at some club, and Baya is getting spinning lessons. Shouldn’t she practice at home first? Don’t subject everyone to your suckiness. Katelynn gets really drunk and grinds all over a bunch of guys and then makes out with a girl. I wonder how these people will react when/if they find that out that she’s transgender. Katelynn doesn’t feel bad about it because she feels her boyfriend doesn’t care about her anyways. When Devyn suggests that maybe she should just break up with him. Katelynn replies, “Because I actually love the son of a bitch.” Ahhhh, love.

Ryan is going to play for Machine, who it turns out is a person. Blayne gives him good advice such as, “Play well today.” and “Don’t fuck it up.” Once, they’re there, Ryan talks about his life and then sings a song we wrote with his army buddies while he was wasted. The song is about tampons. Nice choice, that’ll impress Machine. Machine tells Ryan that he’s lovable, writes lovable music, but that he’s in the wrong spot. Ryan thinks that maybe he shouldn’t have played the tampon song.

When Ryan gets home, Baya runs into his room and wants to now all about his meeting with Machine and he doesn’t want to share much and is obviously upset about what happened.

We now see JD for the first time, but he doesn’t say anything, just stands in the background. Devyn has made a BFFometer for her and Scott, who just stands there as she shows it to him. I am not exactly clear what it is, but I do know it includes levels such as “Co-Pilot”, “Masseuse”, and “Dutch Oven”. Somehow this sheet of paper will determine if they can have more than a friendship, or if they’ll just be stuck in a “Dutch Oven” their whole lives. Sounds very scientific and like something a 4th grader would make.

Alex, Scott’s model friend comes to visit, and Devyn tries to dress herself up because she jealous, I mean annoyed, I apologize Devyn. The whole group goes out and Scott feels like a pimp with a model on one arm and Devyn’s boobs on the other. Devyn tells Scott he needs to date a black girl, and this confuses him. What could she mean? He just can’t understand.

Blayne likes the model enough to “give her two weeks,” but somehow she doesn’t seem to want the same. But he was so nice telling the camera that she would be worth two weeks of his life… He conspicuously walks by shirtless and pops his pecks to an aloof Alex.

Devyn is talking to her friend on the phone and tells her that she is getting mixed signals and wants Scott to “pick a side.” I think that, if pressed, Scott would pick a side that Devyn would not be too pleased about.

While out, Ryan and Baya were dancing together and out of nowhere he tells Baya to lay off since he has a girlfriend. Baya gets offended, so she goes and hangs all over Blayne, to prove she does that with all guys, I guess? Ryan later apologizes. Baya make is clear that there is nothing sexual between her and Ryan.

Scott shows Sarah a picture of a girl from back home, Marissa, who he is, apparently, very much in love with. Scott tells her that he didn’t tell anyone because it will all become clear anyway. Devyn is obviously surprised because Scott told her he was single. MTV proves it by showing the clip. Take that, Scott! Devyn wakes Scott to tell him that he is sending mixed signals to “some girls” and “some girls” might take his hugs to mean more than Scott thinks they do. “Some girls” is not a reference to herself, I’m sure.

Katelynn tries to call her boyfriend and he doesn’t answer. She hasn’t communicated with him in ages and she feels like she might have had enough. She and Sarah have a nice talk and Sarah tells Katelynn that she is being such a girl, which is a big compliment to Katelynn, natch. Katelynn then cries herself to sleep. I think that she’s too good for the guy if he’s going to be an asshole to her, personally.

Some of the roomies go to Manhattan to a bar called Matchless and Katelynn meets a guy named Matt there. She goes out on a date with the guy. Katelynn tells JD about it and we get to heard JD talk for the first time this episode. His scene lasts about 15 seconds. Katelynn’s date with Matt goes well and she finds that they are hitting it off. He’s much better looking than Mike, that’s for sure. Katelynn wants everyone’s opinion about Matt, so she brings him back to the house. At the end of that date, all Katelynn wants is to talk to Mike.

The girls are taking a pole dancing class and Ryan decides to go with them wearing 80s attire. While there, Baya and Ryan check each other out and Baya tells the camera that they flirt and Ryan writes an email to her professing his feelings. He says that he likes her but can’t do anything about it at this point in his life. He ends it with “but someday...I’m not canceling it out.” Damn. How’s Michelle my Belle going to feel about that? I know I’d be pretty damn pissed. Baya doesn’t even know how to react. Devyn reacts by telling Baya that she should make a BFFometer. We all saw how well that worked with Scott.

Core Four:

Ryan: He may suck at singing, but he’s pretty funny (not so much the tampon song), but at least he’s trying.

Katelynn: We think she should just dump her loser boyfriend. If she would just stop dwelling on that, we would like her even more.

Sarah: Though she hasn’t had any drama herself, she seems to be the go-to girl for advice, and it’s usually good.

Baya: She handled the whole Ryan situation pretty well, and we have to give her credit for that. Plus, she recognizes that Katelynn's boyfriend is ridiculous.
Continue reading...»

Poll Results Week 1 (The Bachelor: Jason Mesnik)

There was a pretty clear winner in our poll last week. When asked who you most wanted to see go home on the Bachelor, over half of everyone who responded wanted Erica gone...and you all got your wish! Interestingly enough, the other two girls to go home, Kari and Natalie, were some of the lowest vote getters. No one voted for Kari, and Natalie only got one vote. I'd guessing Natalie changed a lot of people's opinions last episode though...

See the rest of the poll results after the jump.

So...who does everyone want to go home now? I definitely want to see Megan, Naomi, and Jillian gone. How about you all?
Continue reading...»

The Bachelor: Jason Mesnik (Episode 3) Recap

Last week Jason threw an impromptu pool party, went oot with Jillian, passionately kissed Melissa, and kicked Raquel to the curb. This is about the time when it becomes clear who his favorites are and which girls are just biding their time until Jason rejects them. Let the tears begin.

The profuse use of expletives (and my review/recap) begins after the jump.

We start with a review of the last episode...Jason kissed a bunch of people, the girls got bitchy, and some crazies went home. So um, pretty much exactly what we’ll see on all of the episodes, I’m guessing. If the previews are any indication, this episode is going to have lots and lots of Rose Ceremony drama, so uh, let’s get to it!

Chris Harrison, who honestly, should be allowed to showcase his sense of humor more...or at all, starts up by telling the girls there will be a group date and two 1-on-1 dates, all of which will have roses. So...if the 1-on-1 girls don’t get roses, they’re gone. Not all girls get a date again this week.

Chris Harrison then gives them the first date box and it’s for...Stephanie! “Come play with me. J”. Kinky. Stephanie is unshockingly excited. Megan is super upset, because she was SURE she was going to get the first 1-on-1 date, although I’m really not sure why she thought that at all. Because she’s self-absorbed, perhaps?

We hear Stephanie talking about her husband dying...again. We get it. It was tragic. Then she talks about her daughter, whose birthday it is. In the limo on the way to the date, she tries to call her daughter to wish her a happy birthday, but is only able to leave a message. Oh, and apparently Stephanie’s dead husband approves of Jason becoming Sophia’s daddy. Okay. Thanks for that news, John Edwards (not THAT one, the psychic John Edwards). I respectfully disagree that he would approve, and think we would like her to find love off of national TV.

They start their date on the beach, and Stephanie does a cartwheel, because it would impress her daughter when she watches. Uh, please tell me her daughter isn’t going to be watching the show. “So...this is mommy competing with a bunch of other girls to win you a daddy!” Stephanie and Jason talk about how hard it is for Stephanie being away from her daughter, especially on her birthday. Oooh...the foreshadowing. Stephanie talks about how Sophia might get a role model and daddy out of this, which seems kind of...super intense to me. Uh...let’s slow things down a little sweetheart. It’s your first date...

All of a sudden Jason’s all “what’s that?” and Stephanie turns around and it’s Sophia. They run towards each other and Sophia kind of...head butts Stephanie. Other than that, it’s a pretty sweet moment. Stephanie and Sophia frolic on the beach and in the water and Jason tears up while watching...awww. Sophia’s pretty dang cute, just saying. Jason agrees with me.

Jason says the moment is “magical” and that they were “the happiest tears he could have ever felt”.’s like Jason has a vagina! And um, I’m an ass. The three of them look like a cute little family together/Stephanie and Jason just met a week ago.

Next they take Sophia to Legoland as a birthday treat, and apparently they have the whole park to themselves. I’m kind of jealous...or at least the 4 year old version of me is. They go on a bunch of rides and play and all that, with Sophia looking super adorable in this little pink princess dress. They look like a cute little family, and Jason tells the camera about how much Ty would get along with Sophia. Unlike most children, Sophia and Ty both like playing, toys, and trying new things. Wow, those are some special kids you got there. They would not have fit in with me as a child. I was mostly morose and I loved doing algorithms. Stephanie tells the camera how awesome of a family they’d be. Once again...slow down there.

Stephanie and Jason talk (while Sophia plays in a water park) about the role that Ty’s stepmom would have in Ty’s life, and Jason thinks Stephanie understands that Ty doesn’t need a mom. Then, yay, more talk about the dead husband. And Stephanie apparently wants a man she can take care of. Ick. She might have well told Jason that she has her apron pressed and waiting. Okay, now she talks about a husband and wife should meet each others’ needs and take care of each other, which is way less 1950’s housewife sounding, thank god.

Back to the girl at the mansion...Shannon, Naomi, Melissa, Kari, Jillian, Nikki, Erica, and Megan get invited on a group date “Let’s get busted for a good cause”. Oooh, are they going to prison? Molly, Lauren, and Natalie are the only ones who haven’t gotten dates yet this episode. Which one will get the 1-on-1? Oh, the mystery! Or we already saw in the previews. (Spoiler’s Natalie). But yeah...

Returning to the Jason/Stephanie/Sophia date....Jason grabs a lego rose (how cute), and tells Stephanie and Sophia what a great time he had, and offers Stephanie the rose. Stephanie thinks that they’re moving towards falling in love. Sophia agrees that it was the most awesome birthday in the whole wide world. Well I mean, it wasn’t Disney World, but okay. Sophia’s wearing like...her forth outfit of the day now. I like this kid.

Now we get even more talk about the dead husband. Man, I feel like a jerk saying this, but I’m soooo over the dead husband. Anyway, they put Sophia in the limo and away she goes. Stephanie didn’t get ANY alone time with Jason. Hmmm.

Now it’s the “sexy date” time with Erica, Jillian, Kari, Megan, Melissa, Naomi, and Shannon.

We see the girls at home, and Molly and Natalie are glad they didn’t have the group date because the other girls are annoying. Well, fair enough, honestly.

Jason wants to surprise the girls, and surprise them he does by taking them to some sort of...bust gallery. They’re going to make chest molds of themselves, paint them, and auction them off for breast cancer awareness. Pretty cool, but um, who’d want these girls’ busts?

Jason takes off his shirt (not complaining at all) and the girls lube him up. It’s like some sort of kinky orgy. Interesting. Shannon makes creepy stalker comments to the camera. Then they make a cast of Jason. Next the girls go behind colored light panels and strip, kind of like...strippers. Jillian thinks it’s empowering...being naked I guess? I think that’s what she said at least...I was distracted by her annoyingness. The girls get all molded up, and Jason comes back and helps with the end of the process. The girls are very excited. Shannon asks Jason to put plaster on her body so that she can, I dunno, smell his hair and stare at him. Megan wants to stand in public and be casted to help others. Who would she help by doing that...horny homeless guys?

Kari talks about how her stepsister Ginger was diagnosed with breast cancer last year, and how this event and Jason’s choice to do this means a lot to her. Can’t really mock that. Jason keeps his shirt off the whole time they paint for no reason whatsoever, not that I’m complaining.

Megan wants to make a beaded fetus on her bust, because fetuses "feed off of breasts”. (Does she mean babies? Because well, fetuses feed off the umbilical cord, but whatever). Then she goes about how the other girls are as shallow as a kiddy pool and “don’t understand half of her depth or where it comes from”. all see your depth. And compared to your depth, a kiddy pool looks like the middle of the freaking Pacific Ocean.

Megan ponders how “screwed” our future will be if everyone has breast cancer and can’t breast feed their kids. Right. What? Everyone’s going to have breast cancer? And does formula not exist in this everyone-has-breast-cancer world?

Jason is impressed by all the girls on the date...which is weird, because I’m not impressed by any of them. Anyway, they move up to some loft/apartment area so he can give out the rose, as he says, to someone who has opened up to him in a way he hasn’t seen before.

Alone time begins with Jason and Melissa. She says she’s overly harsh on herself. Then she tells Jason her secret, which is that she had a breast reduction when she was 17 because her bra size was something that sounded like 20FF, but I’m pretty sure it must have been 28FF, because well, 20 doesn’t seem possible. Jason immediately looks down at her chest, which is a pretty natural reaction. Heck, I’m a straight girl and I did it too. Jason asks if she can imagine what her cast would have looked like and I have a feeling that he was trying. And then she says “I got my Yiayia’s boobs”. she Greek? I knew I loved this girl! And man, Jason has a thing for Greek girls. We ARE pretty amazing.

Shannon talks about how she doesn’t know how to talk to Jason. Yeah...we noticed.

Megan and Jason now...Jason thinks she was quiet today. She says she lives her life to serve other people. And that she’s a role model to young girls and doesn’t make any money doing it. What the frick does she do? Who would want to look up to her? This episode is FULL of mysteries. Now she says how hard it’s been not doing anything for other people since coming on the show, and not to not have anyone “thank me, or appreciate me, or praise God that I’m in their life”. Good lord. Someone needs to slap this girl, or, better yet, punch her in the face. Jason somehow thinks his time with Megan was good today, so I guess he might not have been paying attention.

Erica talks about how she’s a way better fit for Jason than Megan, which might or might not be true, since honestly, they’re both horrible.

Nikki is disappointed that this is her second group date with Jason, not a 1-on-1. Jason and Nikki talk about how she’s a perfectionist, and how art was an outlet for her. She repeats “I loved it” and he says “That’s cool” a lot. Then they have nothing else to say and it’s all awkward. I guess it was hard for her to have a non-scripted conversation. Then Jason’s like um, this is ridiculously boring...I’m outta here. But he’s a bit nicer about it than that.

Back to the girls at the mansion...time for another date box! It’s for Natalie and says, “Wear your best dress and I’ll do the rest. J.” Why does he sign his notes like that? Do any of them call him J? Anyway, Natalie’s excited and the other girls are disappointed.

Back to the group date, and Shannon and Melissa talk about how Shannon’s not like herself tonight. I saw creepy stalkerness, though, so I think she’s being pretty normal.

Jillian and Jason have a jumping high contest. They talk about some crap, and I don’t really care what they’re saying. Jillian continues to annoy me with her personality, the way she says about, and her faux deepness. Love is what marriage is about, that’s novel. Although...apparently the ring and marriage certificate don’t matter at all, which is confusing, because uh, why get married? Jason finds her easy to talk to though.

Then the girls go and look at their busts. They all ooh and ahh appropriately. Naomi’s boobs are lopsided and her waist is bigger, but she doesn’t mind because it’s going to a good cause. Sure. Hers is butt ugly anyways. It looks like she took 3 minutes to make it.

Shannon is upset she didn’t get 1-on-1 time with Jason. Then she hugs him creepily. Megan is vehemently embarrassed for her. So you’re mad that she’s embarrassing herself? You should be glad that someone else is awkward.

Jason goes to get the rose, and he’s nervous about who to give it to. He never got a rose on a group date, so I guess that’s encouraging to some of them, because he was in the final two. Anyway, he gives the rose to Jillian, and I want to stab my eyes oot. So...that’s two group date roses that go to Jillian. I think we’ve got a frontrunner boys and girls. And uh, I can’t stand her. Megan’s upset, because well, when isn’t she?

Nikki knows she’s smart and pretty and modest, wait, scratch the modest part. But she says being pretty and smart isn’t enough, because you have to be funny and natural too. Not a bad idea Nikki.

Jason says he invited Natalie on the date because she’s hot and fun, but he wants to find out who she truly is inside, or some crap like that.

He shows up all fancied up, and Natalie is still trying on shoes. Jason sits down, to show the viewers at home that Natalie is taking forever. Shannon thinks Natalie is different from the other girls because she’s materialistic and insecure. And she thinks she’ll go home.

Then Natalie comes down, and they tell each other how great they look. And Jason, knowing “Natalie is really into fashion”, brings her $1,000,000 worth of diamonds to wear on the date. That lucky bitch. The other girls don’t even try to hide their jealousy. Nikki talks about how Natalie isn’t ready to be a wife and stepmom, because she likes to dress up, I guess. And look pretty. Umm, isn’t Nikki a beauty queen?

Now Natalie and Jason are heading somewhere in a limo, and Natalie says her fantasy date was fulfilled last time by shopping and trying things on. Well, maybe Nikki DOES have somewhat of a point. Anyway, Jason and Natalie arrive at a jet, which they’re taking to Las Vegas. Natalie, who looks extra orange when she’s on the jet, is super excited to be there. Obviously.

The girls back at the mansion say that what Jason decides to do will reveal something about his personality. Um don’t all of his choices do that?

Back to the date, Jason and Natalie land and as they step off the jet, Natalie sees a helicopter and wonders if it's for them. I wonder if she’s ever seen the show before. Natalie gropes Jason’s leg, and he grabs her hand to either guide her, or prevent her from sexually molesting him. The camera pans away, so we never get to figure out which. Jason admires the view and Natalie admires her diamonds in the helicopter window.

Now they’re in Vegas, and they admire Natalie’s diamonds more. Natalie wants to elope and not tell anyone...and then still have Jason date a bunch of other girls? K. If I were her, I wouldn’t even tell Jason.

They go into the casino, and Jason feels special to be with a super hot chick. Jason looks forward to finding out the deeper side to Natalie, if it even exists. Jason asks Natalie what she likes to do besides shopping and clothes and sports, and she says “I love bears”. Jason looks understandably confused. She talks about her old stuffed bear but then gets confused mid-sentence. Jason says he wishes conversations with her were better. do I. Natalie talks about how she’s ready to settle down, but Jason doesn’t really believe her. Or might not. I don’t know. Jason isn’t either, and doesn’t know if he’ll give her a rose. I’m pretty sure he’s torn between keeping Natalie because she’s hot, or getting rid of her because that’s the only reason to keep her.

Back at the mansion, the girls discuss how Jason and Natalie are physically attracted to each other. A lot of them think that Natalie will come home. I kind of hope she does. I mean...I like bears too! And I have this awesome story about leaving my bear in a store that I could tell you about...

Anyway, Jason and Natalie talk about what she liked best on their date, and she says, “The most surreal moment was when we were in the helicopter and seeing all those things created by nature – the Hoover Dam, the Red Rocks”. Whoa. The Hoover Dam...created by nature. Jason laughs, but Jason’s favorite part was seeing Natalie see the diamonds for the first time. Natalie says that she really really really likes him now.

Now it’s time for ANOTHER awkward private performance, this time by Kate Voegele. Or something. Natalie and Jason dance, and Jason doesn’t seem to be enjoying himself too much. She’s going home. He seems awkward. Natalie wants to kiss Jason, but he doesn’t want to. Okay, so yeah...going home.

Jason picks up the rose, which seems kind of crappy, considering he’s not giving it to her. Jason talks about all of Natalie’s amazing qualities, but says he can’t give her the rose because he didn’t feel something that night. Maybe he doesn’t like bears? Yeah, he says they don’t have enough in common, so it definitely IS the bears thing. Natalie says she’s sick of being stereotyped because of her appearance Jason says “Your appearance is why it’s impossible to not be attracted to you, “ and Natalie’s all “I know that too”. Okay then.

Quick shot of the mansion, where the guys come into take Natalie’s bags and some of the girls are way too bitchily excited about it.

Haha, okay, Natalie calls Jason out on picking up the rose before rejecting her. That’s funny. And then they take the jewels back, because they couldn’t possibly wait to do that till after she’s done being rejected. Natalie talks about how mean the other girls were in the house. Fair enough, but she just sounds petty. Eh, it’s just awkward and uncomfortable.

We see a shot of Nikki talking about how ecstatic she is that Natalie is gone. She sounds like a total bitch. This is interspersed with Natalie’s words of wisdom, “He’s an idiot. He’s probably intimidated by me. I mean, like, just because he’s Jason. What did he want me to do be like, ‘Ah, oh, Jason!’ I’m not mad. I just think it’s odd. I don’t mean to sound conceited, but sh*t, like, I mean I’ve got a lot going on. I’m super attractive. If you don’t feel a connection with me, like, who do you think you are, God? F*ck you, Jason.” I think that’s all that needs to be said. Okay, I was completely wrong about Natalie, I fully admit that.

Now it’s Rose Ceremony night. Nikki, Erica, and Megan are super happy that Natalie went home. Shannon and Lauren seem to be bothered by their behavior in regards to that, which definitely makes me like them more.

Jason apparently took Natalie’s last words about some of the girls being horrible to heart, because he’s going to try to get to the bottom of it with a full-fledged bachelorette investigation.

Naomi has a crush on Jason, but doesn’t know how to tell him how she feels. Maybe tell him about the kissing length competition thing! Jason asks Naomi if there are people who aren’t in it for the right reasons. Naomi doesn’t rat anyone out and doesn’t want to talk about it, which I respect. Naomi is going on about her ex-boyfriend, and I dunno, her voice annoys the hell out of me. Then they kiss. Unfortunately, I don’t think Naomi will be going home. When Naomi comes back, the other girls comment on her missing some of her lipstick, and Nikki gets worried that others have been more intimate with him than her.

Nikki and Jason time now...she wants a kiss. Nikki wants to keep the tone light and show her fun side, so she talks about her mouthwash. Nailed it! She then goes in for the most awkward kiss beginning known to man. Jason has to actually reach out and like, guide her mouth to his. They make out, but like seriously, the start of it was maybe the most awkward kiss ever. I was dying laughing so hard. Oh god. So funny.

Jillian is talking about getting roses, and her Canadian accent is out full force. Horrible. She says the words ‘again’ and ‘process’ in a very annoying manner.

Now Erica is talking to him about how she doesn’t like not getting a rose on dates. Well, duh, who does like that? And how she’s happy to be there. Then she asks him if he just checked out her boobs. Oookay. Awkward. Jason claims he was just looking at the color of her dress. Whatever...she had her boobs out there.

Now Jason grabs Molly to talk to, and she says that she’s getting butterflies around him. Then she says it would be very typical of her to fall in love in this sort of fashion. So um, on a reality TV show? Cool. Jason again talks about what Natalie told him, and then they kiss again. Which of the girls hasn’t he kissed?

Now Molly goes back to the girls, and says that Natalie was name dropping girls who were not there for the right reasons or whatever cliché we’re going with this season. Which I’m pretty sure isn’t true, although I don’t think Molly realizes that. All the other girls seem upset. Molly actually seems to understand why Natalie said some stuff when she was upset, but Megan claims she “would gracefully bow out”, which I find hard to believe given her reaction when the girls voted her out in the first episode. Shannon seems particularly upset by pretty much everything...because she’s crazy

Then Shannon gets sick, I think, although they’re nice enough to not make us watch. And then Jason takes her away to talk. And then Shannon starts to cry. Awesome. She’s upset that she’s not getting the time with Jason. Oohhhh, and she’s talking about last season seeing him with Deanna, which is the scene we saw in the previews the first episode. I thought Shannon must have made it to the episode where Deanna appears, but maybe not. Hmmm. Anyway, Shannon goes on all super creepy on him, like usual. Can that girl have a normal conversation? Jason, though, likes that he can tell Shannon is being real. True enough, because why would you fake that craziness?

Now Jason and Stephanie talk about what a great time they had on their date with Sophia. Stephanie says she wants to take it to the next level, asks him to close his eyes, kisses him on both cheeks, then the forehead, then lets him open his eyes, and says she’s feeling like she can love again, and then they kiss. Just a little kiss, but yeah. Stephanie seems to have super intense feelings for him.

Lauren is annoyed with all the girls, because they’re ridiculous catty. And she’s very right. Lauren and Jason go off to talk, and Megan’s getting paranoid. Lauren tells Jason that Erica and Megan are drama queens and kind of awful people. I’m liking Lauren more and more. Megan thinks/knows that Lauren told Jason about her, so she’s super pissed. When isn’t Megan pissed on the show?

Now the dashing Chris Harrison comes in to go off and talk with Jason. that it? Why did they make it seem so much more dramatic? Oh, wait, more is still coming up.

Jason and Chris Harrison talk about what Natalie said, and what Lauren said, and Jason thinks that Lauren is telling the truth. And she is. Please please please send Erica and Megan home! Uh, I wouldn’t mind Naomi going either. Jason seems pretty confused about everything, and the drama isn’t making things easier.

Chris Harrison is back with the ladies and calls Jason out. Chris Harrison opens the Rose Ceremony up to like...a group discussion, to help build more drama. Oh that rascally Chris Harrison. I love it. Erica and Nikki act all shocked, claiming they all get along great besides Natalie. Megan agrees, except she’s sooo surprised to hear that people are talking trash about her, which makes her feel like “she’s needs to be a bitch”. Lauren calls the girls out, saying that the other girls were being bitchy when talking about Natalie, so maybe they shouldn’t act so high and mighty. The girls all claim they weren’t “bashing who she was”. Riiiight. Lauren doesn’t like the whole...public panel thing. Megan doesn’t seem to mind, though, because well, she looooves her some drama. As Lauren and Megan fight, Shannon leaves the room saying, “I hate it here.” And we see the girls standing around awkwardly as we hear puking noises and the sound of a toilet flushing. What a nice touch, guys. Jason then goes after Shannon to make sure she’s okay.

Proving Lauren wrong, Megan says to the camera, “Shannon, why can’t you just embrace why you’re here? Why can’t you just have fun? But instead she’s like, ‘This sucks. This is so hard.’ That’s all I hear out of her f*cking mouth, and I’m like, ‘you ungrateful, selfish, self-absorbed, high-maintenance piece-of-sh*t.” But don’t worry, she has assured Jason that she doesn’t make catty remarks about the other girls. Uhhh...please, please, please, send Megan home.

Anyway, all the girls are nervous, basically. And Shannon comes back. I feel bad for the girl, honestly.

Onto the roses. Stephanie and Jillian already have roses, so they have nothing to worry about.

The roses go to...

Molly (Talented Kisser): Don’t care too much about her, but she’s grown on me this week.

Lauren (Tattletale): She’s definitely improved in my book.

Melissa (Double F’s): Good decision, Jason.

Naomi (Bitch): Ick.

Shannon (Ol’ Voms A Lot): I hope she brushed her teeth before she accepted that rose.

Nikki (Anal-Retentive): She’ll put that rose next to her toothbrush, but only if it’s facing north at a 60 degree angle.]

Now it’s the final rose, which means it’s down to Kari (who’s had about 30 seconds of screen time total on all three episodes) and the two drama queens (Megan and Erica). Pleeeeeease give the rose to Kari. I’m pretty much begging here.

And the final rose goes to...
Megan (Potty Mouth): Oh Jason. How you disappoint me. Eh, at least Erica’s gone! Megan can’t be far behind...right? Oooh...and the drama she’ll have with Lauren.

This means Erica and Kari are leaving us. Erica can go jump off a cliff after she leaves for all I care, but Kari seemed nice. It’s not that surprising though, because we didn’t see much of her. Kari talks about how she came for Jason, and thinks that she should have been flirtier early on, I think. Erica’s upset, and yeah, acts like Erica.

Next week: The girls can’t sing, they visit the set of General Hospital, Shannon is creepy, and Jason possibly gets rid of one more girl than he’s supposed to. How many go home next week? Because I really want Megan, Jillian, and Naomi gone...

Core Four:

It's getting harder and harder to find four of these girls we actually like...

Melissa: She's wasn't really featured, but she continued to seem less shallow than one might think.

Lauren: The fact that she was disgusted by all the cattiness definitely made us like Lauren more.

Molly: We're not loving her, but we're not hating her either...and with this group, that's good enough.

Stephanie: She, Jason, and Sophia made a cute family. We think they'd be even cuter if Ty was there.

**Sorry this took so long, but Kristen had technical difficulties and we both spent far too long watching CNN. Exciting day today.**
Continue reading...»

Quick Note About Our Bachelor Recap (Episode 3)

Just a quick note to let you know that we'll get our recap up later today (Tuesday). Normally we'll be getting it up late Monday night/early Tuesday morning, but we're running a little behind. Martin Luther King Day messed us up...getting the day off and all that. SOME of us missed seeing the episode (coughKRISTENcough) because they have trouble telling their days apart when they get days off. Just saying. But come back later tonight, and it'll definitely be here. Oh, and a new poll question will be going up today too. Sorry for the delay!

There's nothing after the jump...

Told ya.
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Cast of Survivor: Tocantins (Season 18) Revealed

The cast of Survivor: Tocantins has finally been revealed! Who's excited? Uh, us, obviously. They have photos, bios, and videos up to help you get to know the new cast of Survivor. In case you don't want to read all their bios or sit through the videos, we did it for you. Here are our thoughts on all the Survivors...we can only assume you'll agree! (By the way, we deserve some sort of medal for watching all the "Meet the Survivor" videos. We had to watch so many Katy Perry commercials that it could be considered torture.) Anyway, Survivor: Tocantins starts on Thursday, February 12th, so get ready!

Meet the cast (and see our analysis) after the jump.

Benjamin "Coach" Wade (37)
Hometown: Bolivar, Mo.

Occupation: Soccer Coach

Kristen: Benjamin needs a haircut, and thinks he’s a genius musician. He’s not very modest, and seems like he’d tell anyone who will listen (or who won’t) about his 6-month-long solo kayak trip to Colombia.

Alissa: Okay...well...hate the hair and tattoos. In this bio he mentions he’s had a lot of animal attacks/close calls. Does this just mean he’s super adventurous, or does it mean that he sucks at being adventurous? Wait...didn’t he say he had two parts to his personality...and then went on to describe three? He’s definitely lacking the math part. His cockiness is pretty annoying.

Brendan Synnott (30)
Hometown: New York, N.Y.

Occupation: Entrepreneur

Kristen: This douchebag loved being an entrepreneur. He’s super excited to be in a “far-off land”. I can see this guy’s cockiness being his downfall.

Alissa: He's kind of cute, but comes across kind of douchey. His competitive nature could serve him well, but his cockiness might be a concern. He definitely seems to recognize multiple sides to the game, and if he can pay attention to them, he might do well. Or become overly cocky and screw himself over.

Candace Smith (31)
Hometown: Dayton, Ohio

Occupation: Attorney

Kristen: She went to Northwestern Law School, and then went on to use her degree to win Miss Ohio USA. Her boobs are gigantic, and she will use her looks to further her in the game, shocking.

Alissa: Athlete, beauty queen, model, Northwestern law school graduate...impressive. I like her honesty about how her looks will affect the game. Because well, they will. Wow, she has big boobs. She needs a better bikini with support. How do you run in that?

Carolina Eastwood (26)
Hometown: West Hollywood, Calif.

Occupation: Bartender

Kristen: Grew up without electricity, so maybe she has a leg up on other people. Her ditzy voice will probably get old though.

Alissa: She grew up without electricity and with an outhouse? Well...she should be okay with the whole roughing it thing, right? I like people who recognize what they have and how lucky they are. But she refers to this as “...a huge challenge for myself”. Okay, I know I’m nitpicking, but that is definitely not grammatically correct.

Debra "Debbie" Beebee (46)
Hometown: Auburn, Ala.

Occupation: Middle School Principal

“Life is grand!” She thinks being an older contestant is going to be an advantage. Has she seen this show before? How is she going to react when her roots grow out? So many questions…

Alissa: “Also known as Bubbles”? Huh. I’m sure it’s great that she trained along Olympic athletes, but I mean, Crystal was a frickin’ Olympic Gold Medalist, and we all saw how good she was. Maybe it’ll be different with Bubbles here. She looks good for 46, but being older doesn’t usually help in the game.

Erinn Lobdell (26)
Hometown: Waukesha, Wis.

Occupation: Hairstylist

Kristen: She works at a high end salon… in Milwaukee. Wow, she must be good. Somehow her job is going to help in Survivor. I’ll believe it when I see it. P.S. Learnn to spell your ownn nname, thannks.

Alissa: Erinn with two n’s....really? She’s fairly cute though and nothing about her appearance bugs me, so we’ll see. “She’ll be dumb like a fox”? What does that even mean? A focus on people skills is definitely a good thing, as long as she has a good strategy too.

Jerry Sims (49)
Hometown: Rock Hill, SC

Occupation: Sgt. – U.S. Army

Jerry’s one of 11 kids, so he should probably be able to get along in a group well. He’s mentioned his military background a lot (he’s in the National Guard), we’ll see.

Alissa: Being a leader and a fan of the whole team thing is good, but he might be a little controlling. No one likes that. He definitely thinks he looks good for his age. Oookay. Why does everyone claim they’re SO different from the others? They're all different because, uh, they’re not the same people?

Joe Dowdle (26)
Hometown: Austin, Texas

Occupation: Real Estate Sales

I can’t really think of anything to say about him because I’m distracted by his big cross necklace. I can tell you he’s from Texas and uhhh… that means he tells it like it is?

Alissa: I noticed the cross right away. Will his religion affect his game? “He intends to constantly look for alliances and win challenges, all while staying just below the radar”. I feel like that’s a lot harder than it sounds...and it doesn’t sound easy.

James "JT" Thomas Jr. (24)
Hometown: Samson, Ala.

Occupation: Cattle Rancher

Kristen: JT is a hick. His plan seems to be to blend. I hope he can reign in his accent, because that sticks out like a sore thumb. He seems nicely earnest, but I don’t know how well his strategy will serve him.

Alissa: He’s a cattle rancher! I love it! Ya know...for someone who claims he gets fired up when his intelligence is insulted, playing the dumb hillbilly strategy might not be the best idea. He seems to think no one else has experience with the outdoors. It’s Survivor. What kind of people does he think apply? Well, actually, I’m sure tons of fame whores do, but I mean, also outdoorsy types, right?

Sandy Burgin (53)
Hometown: Louisville, Ky.
Occupation: Bus Driver

Kristen: Another bus driver? Wasn’t that mulleted Denise's job? Her plan is to be on a winning team, good plan, Sandy, good plan.

Alissa: They have a couple older people on this one. Fishing and building skills might be good, but if she lacks physical prowess, it might not matter. And a moose tattoo? Really? She’s right that being older is going to make her a target. Being on the winning team is great and all, but how do you plan to arrange for that one, sweetheart?

Sierra Reed (23)
Hometown: Los Angeles, Calif.

Occupation: Model

Is an ugly-looking model, who seems as though she might be getting over a crack addiction based on her behavior. I’m having trouble understanding what she’s saying, some thing about iron butterfly?

Alissa: And here we have model #2. She sure likes to use her hands when she talks. It’s pretty annoying. As is her voice. Doing her research was a good idea. Oh God...if she thinks Ozzie played the game the best, she’s in trouble. She doesn’t seem to have the killer instinct. Wait...she’s going to make this to the “bottom five”? Does she mean top 5? I’m confused.

Spencer Duhm (19)
Hometown: Lakeland, Fla.

Occupation: Student

He’s 19 and the youngest survivor ever. He seems pretty riled up and excited, like he’s just had 5 espressos. Either his youthful enthusiasm will help him, or hinder him, we’ll see.

Alissa: Awww, he’s so young. How cute. And is he gay? He looks kind of gay. (Score one for me. Totally right about that.) Being a big survivor fan could be interesting. Hopefully it means he’ll be good at strategy. Oh oh oh oh. He’s a Cubs fan. I totally love him. He’s right about needing to fall back. No one’s going to want to listen to a 19 year old.

Stephen Fishbach (29)
Hometown: New York, N.Y.
Occupation: Corporate Consultant

Stephen thinks he’s going to be the geeky one, and I agree with him. He’s got a JT strategy going, blend into the background. This better not be a boring season.

Alissa: He’s defintiely kind of nerdy. That might work out well, if people underestimate him. Of course, for them to do that, he actually has to be good. Manipulating others to do what you want isn’t a bad strategy, as long as you can claim credit if you make it to the Final Tribal Council.

Sydney Wheeler (24)
Hometown: Raleigh, N.C.

Occupation: Model

Kristen: Seems pretty bland. She seems like someone that will coast for a while, but is neither smart enough to get to the end, nor strong enough to do well a challenges.

Alissa: Our third model? Oooh...model competition! It’ll be like ANTM...but with less makeup and hair products. Honestly, other than her looks, I’m not sure what else she has going for her in the game. She might be able to get by for a while, but I don’t see her making it to the end.

Tamara “Taj” Johnson-George (37)
Hometown: Nashville, Tenn.

Occupation: Former Pop Star

She’s a “trick-of-all-trades”. She thinks people might recognize her from her singing group… that I’ve never heard of, or for her husband, a Heisman winner. OK, all her money will go to a foundation, lame.

Alissa: Former pop star? Am I supposed to know who she is? “Trick of all trades”? I think she means jack of all trades? She really thinks people will recognize her? I dunno about that. Wait, and “pritzy”? Prissy? Uh huh. She definitely seems like she’s strong (mentally and physically), so that could help her on the game.

Tyson Apostol (29)
Hometown: Lindon, Utah

Occupation: Professional Cyclist

Tyson has spent time as a missionary in the Philippines, so I guess he’s used to tropical weather? He also tells us he’s charmingly arrogant. Oxymoron much? He’s a professional cyclist, so I’m guessing he’s pretty good at physical challenges.

Alissa: Haha, a BYU dropout who plans to lie his way through the game? I love it! “In addition to, as he describes it, "looking awesome," his favorite hobbies are exercising and sunbathing”. Wow. He says some people don’t like him at first because he purposely pushes people’s buttons? That’s so weird. Why wouldn’t people like that?

So, what do you all think of the cast? Any early favorites? Anyone you know you're going to hate? Predictions on who will go far?
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Real World: Brooklyn (Episode 2) Recap

Last week on the Real World we met the eight strangers who were picked to live in a house, have their lives taped, and find out what happens when they stop being polite and start getting real. JD was cool. Ryan was homophobic, Baya was nothing, Scott had abs, and Katelynn didn’t tell her roommates she was transgender. This episode is called “The Outs and Ins of Brooklyn” so I can only assume Katelynn will reveal that’s she transgender to more of the housemates.

Spoilers after the jump.

To start the episode Blayne finds lube and an XL condom in JD’s stuff and proceeds to ask JD all sorts of questions about his sex life. I’m pretty sure Blayne’s just trying to see JD’s penis...because you know, he’s straight. JD tells Blayne that he is not his boyfriend, and Blayne is secretly hurt. After their exchange, Blayne continues to obsess about the size of JD’s penis. Suuure you’re not gay.

Sarah is doing Katelynn’s hair. They apparently get along really well, and Katelynn tells her that she’s transgender. Sarah doesn’t see it as a big deal. She’s very supportive, which makes me like her more. No surprises there.

We hear a doorbell ring and Ryan yells that someone should answer it. It is then revealed that it is actually an alarm clock that Ryan is holding and then proceeds to send JD on a wild goose chase as they try to determine who is there all while Ryan and Blayne yell for them to answer it with increasing exasperation.

“So, the lame bus just pulled into our kitchen and dropped off yet another discussion.” Wow, discussions, that must suck, Ryan. Sarah shoots of crap about how there should be a modern Renaissanst, whatever that is, and something about Egyptians, while Ryan looks on in disgust. We also get little gems such as Katelynn’s, “the polytheists knew how to get down” and “everyone wants to save the porpoises, no one gives a shit about the tuna.” The discussion ends with Sarah and Katelynn deciding they should teach a class and write a book.

In the next showing of the housemates’ maturity, someone put a banana in a condom in the fish tanks, killing all the fish. Speculation indicates that it was either Blayne, or Ryan and Blayne. JD is very pissed about this because it means Blayne must have been going through is things. I agree that it is not that funny, but perhaps someone is inordinately upset about this. Sarah, JD, and Devyn decide Sarah should lecture Blayne about it.

Blayne doesn’t take this confrontation very well and calls the rest of the housemates judgmental, and that’s coming from the Mormon. He says he didn’t go through any of JD’s stuff and that the condom was his own (couldn’t JD tell that wasn’t an XL?). I think Blayne is probably telling the truth because we saw no clips of this happening. That just seems like something the producers would want to show. The two of them end the argument in agreement, I guess, but they both still seem pissed off.

Now we move on to Baya, Katelynn, and Sarah going to an Afro-Caribbean dance class. Shots of Baya dancing well and Sarah and Katelynn looking terribly awkward follow. Is it just me, or is this episode kind of boring?

On the way back from the dance class, Katelynn comes out as transgender to Baya. Three down, four to go. Katelynn tells them that she has no intention of ever telling Blayne and Ryan. For some reason they think that they’re immature and would make tasteless jokes. Why would they think that?

Baya has decided to audition at the Hip Hop Dance Conservatory. She’s trying to get everything in order, and is all stressed about it, and she’s nervous because she feels like is not experienced enough. Ryan is also feeling nervous about auditioning and says, “Dude, I don’t have a chance in hell of making it on that dance team. You...kinda do.” I liked that.

In another example of Blayne not being gay, he wears eyeliner for the housemate trip to the gay area of NYC. Blayne laments that he gets hit on by gay guys all the time, wonder why?

While at the gay bar Ryan looks extremely uncomfortable but when JD offers Ryan $100 to dance with the drag queen, Miss Peppermint, he accepts. When he doesn’t dance at all, they change the bet to a kiss on the cheek. When he gets a lip full instead, the roommate flips out and Ryan looks horrified. Ryan proceeds to brush his teeth 5 times.

The roomies are happy for Ryan that he’s opening up. Ryan calls his girlfriend and tells her they need to talk. He tells her that he kissed someone and after she tells Ryan she hates him, he tells her that it was a drag queen.

Time for Baya’s audition. Baya gets put on the spot with questions by Safi, the drill-sergeant dance instructor. She felt like she wasn’t in tune with the music and didn’t do well. Based on all the “fun” they had at the audition, she’d probably be lucky not to get in.

Now Blayne’s family is visiting...his mom, sisters, and brother. They’re all very Aryan. They think it’s “way cool” that JD is a dolphin trainer. Later on in the car Blayne and Ryan tell Blayne’s mom that he’s gay and she remarks, “Well that’s why he’s so nice!” During her tearful departure, she reminds Blayne not to wear eyeliner again.

It ends up that Baya did get in to the Hip Hop Dance Conservatory, but decided not to do it. Good decision.

JD comes home shitfaced from a bar ranting about people who don’t speak English at the drugstore he went to. He tried to get chapstick and the lady thought he wanted cigarettes. Blayne calls him rude, and that’s definitely something coming from Blayne. Blayne got upset that JD was being rude to an immigrant and a fight ensued. JD ends the fight with, “Go read your Bible. Goodnight.” The next day Blayne decides to let JD go for it because he was drunk at the time of the incident.

JD hooks Baya up with a choreographer he knows. Baya looks like she feels more comfortable and happy in this environment.

JD opens up to Blayne about his childhood. He’s the youngest of five, and all of them have different fathers. JD was the only one to graduate from high school and go college. They share a nice, bonding moment that closes off the episode.

So, this was not exactly the most exciting episode of the Real World I’ve ever seen. Hopefully, things will get more dramatic soon because I can only watch so much of Blayne’s pranks and Baya dancing in a studio. Maybe we’ll even see the mysterious eigth roommate, the elusive Scott. I, personally, don’t think he even exists.

Core Four:
This week we had an easier time thinking of our Core Four. Maybe these attention whores are growing on us.

Sarah: She seems to get along with everyone, and she handled Katelynn coming out to her really well. Plus, despite our general dislike for people covered in tattoos, we think she's pretty okay.

Ryan: He may have come across homophobic last week, but this week he seems more open minded. We definitely appreciated that. Plus he’s funny.

Baya: She hasn’t really done anything controversial, but it’s nice to see someone actually pursue their dreams while on the show instead of hoping they’ll fall in their lap.

JD: Even if he is a slurring drunk who hates on immigrants, he’s probably the most likable of the housemates, scary, huh?
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