America's Next Top Model: Season 12 (Episode 1)

So, America's Next Top Model is back for another season. At this point, no one actually expects a super model to come out of the show. If you occasionally see the winner in anything other than a Covergirl commercial during the following ANTM season, she's doing pretty well. So, while the show's not good for actually producing top models, it is good for lots of drama, ridiculous photo shoots, and plenty of Tyra worship. And who doesn't love that? Let the competition begin!

Read the review/recap after the jump.

This year the final 34 finalists are going to Sin City to compete to be America’s Next Top Model, or at the very least, America’s Next Top Girl Who Is Slightly Famous. The first girl we meet is Celia, who is 25 years old. She’s already ancient my model standards, and she kinda looks like a Stepford Wife. I really don’t see her winning this thing.

The next girl we meet is Allison who says, “It’s pretty hard for me to interact with a lot of girls. I’ve heard people call me, like, creepy or strange or something.” Always a good sign. She’ll probably be good for some drama if she makes it into the house (which she will, since I’ve already seen the 13 finalists’ pictures on the CW website).

When they make it to Caesar’s Palace, London, who is wearing one of those hipster/gay headbands, can’t see what’s happening over everyone’s heads because they’re so tall. I already don’t like her, just for the headband. Maybe she should model for American Apparel.

Out step the Jays (if you don’t know who they Jays are, than why are you watching ANTM?) from behind their fantasy (a bunch of roman gladiators). Fo (Fo, seriously?) almost starts crying when she sees them. The Jays then spew some crap about how Tyra is a goddess and that’s what they’re aspiring to or something. We then meet Sandra who is from Africa, and puts the emphasis on the wrong syllable when saying the word goddess. I guess it’s not her fault since she’s foreign.

Because this is top model, the Jays make them change into Greek Roman goddess outfits. This is how Gisele got her start too, I’m sure. The girls emerge from the changing room and scream as they enter the room. This is Top Model, after all, and Top Model is nothing without unwarranted screaming. Jay tells them they’re taking profile photos and Celia is the first victim. Fo goes next and gives Jay a hug, wow, she’s is really obsessed with him. She tells the camera that she’s a hippy and a tree hugger.

Sandra is next and she says that she stands out because she’s darkest or something. I am sensing a bit of repetition as far as the girls that they’re showing. Perhaps these girls will make it into the house? Answer, yes, they will.

There’s a girl with a fro named Aminat, which begs the questions: Where does Tyra find so many girls with weird names? How do you even pronounce that?

After Aminat is a girl named Kathryn, whose future is not looking too bright. She seems nice and is the youngest one there. Too bad she won’t make it to the house. We also meet Teyona, who slouches and grew up in the rustic countryside…of New Jersey. Sounds quaint.

Miss Jay then has the girls walk “on clouds” or as I call it, “dry ice smoke”. Sandra’s walk is OK, a girl name Angelea looks like a hooker walking towards a John’s car, and Allison is terrible. Jessica, who is from Puerto Rico (I don’t think we’ve had one of those before!) looks hot as she walks and tells the camera she wants to, “represent Latinas to the fullest.”

Isabella, who does a lot of odd hand gestures as she talks, is excited to be judged by Tyra herself. The Jays are talking to the girls when they are rudely interrupted by a bunch of gladiators who are accompanying the goddess Tyra herself out to the girls. The naturally start flipping shit and screaming because Tyra can’t enter a room in any other fashion. She has a gladiator proclaim that she is the goddess of fierce. Tyra, in an ambiguous accent, tells the girls that she is looking for a successor, someone to “light her chariot of fire”. Whoa, calm down there. Which is it, a successor or chariot of fire lighter?

Celia is so excited to see Tyra and says that Tyra is an extra-terrestrial. Is that supposed to be a good thing? Tyra tells the girls to strike a pose and this somehow leads to an issue between Angelea and Sandra. I don’t really understand why, but these are ANTM contestants so I really don’t feel the need to figure it out. It was something about how Angelea has long nails.

It’s now time for the judges’ panel and Sandra is up first looking fierce in red heels and high-waisted shorts. The judges compliment her and she breaks down crying. Wow, how is she going to react to criticism? She tells the judges she loves her dark skin, and that she’s proud of it.

Next up is stupid London, with her stupid headband. She’s wearing extremely unflattering shorts with tights under them. There is nothing about this girl that I like. She tells the judges that she is a “street preacher” and this makes me like her even less, mostly due to the way she said it. She talked loudly and slowly as if she was talking to a non-English speaker and thought that would help. I really can’t stand her. I like Jesus too, but I’m not obnoxious about it.

The next girl is 18-year-old Jessica, from Puerto Rico. She’s quite cocky. Next girl we see is Tahlia, who is a burn-survivor who feels her story should be out there. She has scars over her lower half from when she was 8-months-old and pulled at a coffeemaker cord and spilled it on herself. I think it’s admirable that she is comfortable in her body and going on this show.

We then go to the room and see Monique spewing crazy (and I mean seriously ridiculous) conspiracy theorists, and then she is the next girl at panel. She craps out more crazy theories and poses some. Next up is Natalie, whose family is rich and has never worked a day in her life. Well, she probably is spoiled, but I mean, she’s only 18, it’s not that crazy. Aminat (the fro) is next and she’s really tall.

Kathryn, the young one breaks down while getting attacked by Angelea and Aminat thinks she should go if she can’t take the heat. Celia says that the wall-flowers aren’t going to be able to cut it, and that she can tell who is going home.

Kathryn is up next and she brings in a bunch of pens but can only name one working model. Not so good. Come on it’s easy. How bout Caroline Trentini, Chanel Iman, Adriana Lima, Coco Rocha, Gemma Ward, or even Gisele Bundchen? And I’m not even trying to be a model. She comes back out in her swimsuit and can actually name three designers. Good on ya mate.

Next is the most boring-looking white girl, Alex, who talks like she grew up in Compton. Wow, you definitely wouldn’t expect that coming out of a girl wearing a light pink, ruffly blouse. Next up is epileptic Isabella. Wow, does every one of these girls have a gimmick. Ok, maybe that’s the wrong word, but I guess they need someone contrevertial since they couldn’t find any transgender girls this year.

Next up is prom queen Nijah who scowls when she poses. Kinda reminds me of Dionne from the season that went to Australia. I didn’t much care for Dionne, but we’ll see about Nijah.

Up next is Fo, who is Blaxican (black and Mexican) and gorgeous. She didn’t even know that she was half-black until she met her father. Wow, that’s crazy.

It’s dinner time for the girls and Angelea tells Kortnie that she had a daughter that passed away. Wow, that’s horrible, but my compassion for her situation does not extend far enough for me to forgive her for her atrocious nails. It really is sad though. I can’t even imagine.

Angelea is in panel next and she slept in a bus station in New York City to be there. OK, that might be taking this a bit to far. Tyra may be fierce, but she’s not worth getting raped for.

Celia is next and she’s actually wearing a really cute outfit. The colors are spot on. I love it in the same sense that I love everything I see in a J Crew catalogue. She’s self-aware about the fact that she’s old and has definitely blossomed since she was little as evidenced by a photo shown on the screen.

Kortnie, the only plus-size girl is up next, and I am having trouble coming up with new ways to say which girl is at panel next. Kortnie has dated Dale Earnhardt Jr., who is overrated as far as NASCAR racers go, and I am embarrassed that I know that. Time in Texas will do that to you, let me tell you. They love him down here, though. He’s not like that Yankee, Jeff Gordon.

We go back to the girls hanging out and the girls are frightened by Allison’s bug big eyes. I can only assume she’s in panel next. Oh, I’m good. Allison tells Tyra that, “either they say I look like a scary doll or like a porcelain doll,” when referring to her eyes. She tells the judges that she always wanted a nose-bleed because they look pretty and she has a fascination with blood. Yeah, they’re not so fun when you’re in high school and you can’t stop bleeding in Ogilvie Station and an ambulance has to and take you to a hospital and you have to get your blood vessels cauterized. Didn’t happen to me, but it did to a friend. Not so pretty then. Teyona is next and her panel is not very noteworthy.

The girls are all done with panel, and the Jays say the 34 girls are being cut down to lucky 21. Some of the lucky girls are Sandra, London, Fo, Jessica, Kortnie, Tahlia, Aminat, Allison, Teyona, Kathryn, Nijah, Natalie, Isabella, Angelea, and Celia. Among the losers are conspiracy theorist Monique and Alex, the blackest white girl you’ve seen. I’m pretty sure Kathryn and Angelea are the only girls that don’t make it to the house that we’ve seen moving on.

After the cut, Jay tells the girls they have a photo shoot, wherein they are each assigned a goddess with an attribute they must portray. London is justice, Fo is madness, Sandra does a bad job at success, Nijah is friendliness (Oh, yeah, I definitely remember learning about that goddess in Greek mythology. Not so much.), and Sandra and Angelea get in a bitch fight. Oh, how I’ve missed ANTM. We get some great quotes out of this fight such as, “This bitch tryin’ to try me.” and “Who are you rolling your eyes at? Do you have an eye problem?” and “Bitch need a perm. That’s what she need.”

Now the Jays and Tyra look at the pictures and decide what 13 girls are moving on. I’m not going to go over what they said, but they decided upon 13. And those 13 are:

Aminat
Natalie
Fo
Allison
Tahlia
Celia
Nijah
London (who thanks Jesus, belch)
Teyona
Kortnie
Isabella
Jessica
and
Sandra

Thus concludes the first part of the premier. Now we’re on to NYC, the Top Model house, and real photo shoots. Well, as real as an ANTM photo shoot can get. London can’t believe she’s there and thinks there should be a word for “holy cow, this is really happening.” I think I have that word. It’s, well, it’s actually 3 words: shut you trap. Seriously can’t stand the girl.

Isabella is excited and seems to think that just being in New York gives her license to call herself a model. Well, I guess I was once a model myself, having spent a week there. Sandra is cocky as ever, and Celia talks more about her age. They go up in the empire state building and to have Kortnie tell it, “your ears pop, so that means you’re pretty high.” Well put. Nigel and Paulina Porizkova (whose name I spelled right on the first try, for the win) are waiting for them and Nigel is looking as hot as ever. Nigel hands Celia the keys to their house, and I can’t help but think, “that was big to-do just to hand them keys.”

The girls enter the house to the usual chorus of gleeful screaming. The first floor contains only picture of Tyra, but because she is so humble and modest, the second floor has pictures of past winners. Celia was told she got her pick of beds since she was handed the key and she chooses a bed that Sandra has put her purse on. I sense that Sandra may raise some hell over this. Not sure why. In the past she has just been a sweet, little bed of roses. It turns out that there are only 12 beds so Sandra tells Celia that she’s keeping the bed since she got it first.

In normal society, someone might say, “Well, let’s just share the bed for a couple days until someone is eliminated. It is a double bed after all and we both weigh 12 lbs so we’ll easily fit.” But, alas, this is Top Model, so I have a feeling it won’t be so easily resolved. OK, way to prove me wrong girls. Sandra almost immediately says they should share the bed. I am pleasantly surprised. Wait, OK, I thought Sandra would be the unreasonable on in this case, but it’s Celia who refuses to share. OK, I guess standing closet to Nigel when he gave the girls the key makes her princess of the house. It’s not like she won a challenge or anything. She just stood there. London, the “pacifist” steps in and sleeps on the floor “because of Jesus.” I really, really don’t like her.

The girls, who are now in a ridiculously cool house, complain that there’s no pool. Really?

First Tyra mail that’s something about good and bad. The Jays are waiting for the girls and London is excited to see them and says to the camera, “Any time I see those two boys I know something is gonna happen.” Thanks Sherlock. It’s not like they enjoy spending time with you or something. They’re there because they’re paid to be there, dumbass.

They tell the girls they are going to be a fashion show. Celia loves being in New York rather than Kentucky because in Kentucky, “nobody cares about fashion because they’re all mowing their lawns.” Oh yes, I knew about that proverb. He who moweth thine lawn, shant not care about fashion, right?

The runway show starts and Isabella is nervous because there are strobe lights, which may affect her epilepsy. I now feel bad about every seizure joke I’ve made about flashing lights. That sucks. She doesn’t have a seizure, though, thank God. Sandra, who earlier bragged that her walk was an 8 or 9, walks like crap and only goes halfway down the runway. Tahlia had a tough time because she was covered up at the show and she felt that her burns shouldn’t be covered since they’re not ugly.

At the house the girls are having a conversation and getting to know each other in a bedroom when Sandra interrupts them to tell them to leave the room and have their “stupid conversation” in the living room. OK then party pooper. She then proceeds to not sleep.


Now it’s time for the girls’ first photo shoot. Jay rides up on a bike in a funky body suit, which, naturally, has nothing to do with the shoot. The shoot is about childhood games such as ring around the Rosie (Fo), tug of war (London), tag (Tahlia), leap frog (Natalie), hide and seek (Sandra), monkey bars (Kortnie), London bridges (Aminat), musical chairs(Nijah), double dutch (Allison), hopscotch (Teyona), hula hoop (Celia), dodge ball (Isabella), and jacks (Jessica). I’m not going to recap exactly what happened since there was no major issue and it’s the end result that really matters.

After the shoot, Sandra is not nervous at all but Tahlia is very worried because her insecurities showed through. It’s now panel time and Tyra goes over the prizes and introduces the judges: Nigel, Miss Jay, and Paulina. Now let’s judge.

Sandra: The judges give her crap for only going part way down the runway. He picture is pretty boring and there was a lot more she could have done with her game (hide and seek) and her face in the picture just looks confused.

Celia: Tyra likes her outfit and her picture looks pretty cute and fun. Tyra says that she’s not a commercial girl, but her picture would fit in at Seventeen Magazine.

Fo: Nigel thinks her picture is adorable, and I would have to agree, though her face isn’t very modelesque.

Aminat: The shoot was supposed to be about innocence, but she kinda looks like a bitch in her shot (London Bridge). Miss Jay says she’s going to have to watch out for her knee because it’s whacked out.

London: I don’t like her, but she actually did get a good shot. Next.

Jessica: She looks gorgeous in her picture, but it has absolutely nothing to do with playing jacks.

Teyona: She’s got a great pose in her shot, but her head is too small. Good critique, Tyra. I’m sure she’ll work on getting a bigger head for next week. She can just ask Sandra for tips.

Isabella: Isabella’s pose is really weird and I’m definitely not getting a dodge ball vibe from it. Tyra says that she needs to learn where the camera is.

Nijah: She’s got a great smile that captures what the shoot was about, but she fell victim to the classic “not representing the game” trap.

Kortnie: Tyra doesn’t like the way her leg is positioned, but she gets a generally good review.

Allison: The judges love the innocence of her face. I think she’s probably really weird, but she’s gorgeous.

Tahlia: Her picture is alright, although the judges aren’t thrilled with her pose.

Natalie: Tyra tells her to take of her fugly hipster headband. Good move, I hate those headbands. Her picture is pretty good.

Now it’s time for deliberation, which I’ll write nothing about.

Tyra hands out the pictures to:
Allison (Nosebleed)
Fo (Blaxican)
Teyona (Small Head)
London (Yuck)
Celia (Grandma)
Nijah (Boring)
Kortnie (NASCAR)
Natalie (Ritchie Rich)
Aminat (Afro)
Tahlia (Coffee Pot)
Jessica (Puerto Rico)

This leaves Isabella and Sandra as the bottom two. So...Sandra’s runway walk and photo were bad and Isabella’s photo sucked. So logically they should keep Isabella, but they won’t. She’s drama. She’ll stay. And the last photo goes to…

Sandra(Bitch)

That means Isabella is going home. Guess she won’t need that three month supply of epilepsy medication. I don’t care too much one way or the other about Isabella going. I didn’t dislike her, but I didn’t care about her either. So yeah. Oh well.

Core Four:


Celia: She has great fashion sense and she knows that her age is her biggest weakness. We think she’ll go pretty far.

Fo: She seems sweet (so far) and although her name is stupid, we like her.

Jessica: She may be a little cocky, but she’s gorgeous and there’s never been a contestant from Puerto Rico before. She already represents Hispanic people better than Jaslene.

Kortnie: We think she’ll go farther than most plus-size girls because she doesn’t seem to be stressing about it. That usually seems to be their downfall.

Bottom Four:


Aminat: We don't know too much about her, but from what we've seen, she seems kinda bitchy.

London: There is nothing about this girl that we like. Seriously, at all.

Natalie: She seemed to really love herself. We don't feel the same way.

Sandra: She's obviously going to be the bitch of the season. And we're not the type to cheer for the bitch.

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After The Final Rose (Part Two): Molly Is Actually A Good Person, We Swear Edition

So, we've finished watching "After 'After The Final Rose'" and, well, we don't really have that much more to add. We still think Jason and Molly have no class, and we definitely wondered how much ABC was paying the other Bachelorettes to say nice things about Jason and wondering how on earth Jason showed integrity by doing what he did. If Jason showed integrity, then I am a saint. Basically, watching this ATFR2, for us, was to put it lightly, yucky. It felt like ABC was trying to shove this love story down our throats and telling us that it tastes good even though it tastes like vomit, and I really hate the taste of vomit.

If you're wondering what our full thoughts are on everything, you can read them here:

Alissa's Thoughts

Kristen's Thoughts

There's no more to this post, but feel free to comment about either the After the Final Roses or the season in general.

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Here's What I Think About the Final Episode

So, I have a lot of thoughts to share with everyone, as I’m sure everyone does after that little doozy last night! There’s so much to say, but it’s hard to put all of the ickyness into words. I’ll start by saying that I knew what was coming going into the episode, as was the case for many of you, I’m sure. That said, it was hard to watch the episode and not have knowing everything alter how I felt about it. I really hoped that the rumors that were going around weren’t true, but I knew that they had to be.

Read my crazy rant after the jump.

I guess I’ll start with the first 2 hours of the show and leave the juicy part for later. I think it was very clear that Melissa was way better with Ty than Molly was. I mean, she had a lame joke up her sleeve for every occasion, and all Molly could do was throw compliments at Ty and hope he would put up with her. (Can you already see my prejudice here?) I thought they both did well with the families, but editing can be deceiving (Obviously).

Both their dates went well, as usual, and Molly took control of her date, as usual, and gave Jason a message that I can only assume she finished off with a “happy ending”, if you know what I mean.

But I gotta say, all that was sort of boring, especially if you knew what was coming later. I suppose one of the few interesting parts (hmmm… interesting is the wrong word, maybe noteworthy?) was when Deanna came to New Zealand (she just happened to know Jason was there and bought a plane ticket, obviously) and talked to Jason. Now, I know people are going to say she asked for Jason back, but I really didn’t get that vibe. It seemed to me that she just wanted to extend her 15 minutes of fame give him advice on who to pick.

Finally, we had the dumping and the proposal. I found the Molly segment interesting in that it was not at all interesting. All it did was set up the idea that Jason was making a mistake. She even told him he was going to regret his decision later, convenient, no? It also contained the longest walk back to the limo I’ve ever seen. Now read carefully, because this is going to be the last time you will see me write this, I felt bad for Molly. That had to be so uncomfortable. We could debate for days over if Molly knew, when Molly knew, and if there was even anything for Molly to know, but I’m guessing that she didn’t know at that point. They would have wanted real emotions.

Now, Jason’s proposal to Melissa was a little hard for me to swallow, since I knew I was about to see him break up with her. It was very nice and all and Melissa was adorable and endearing, but I just wanted to slap Jason across the face as he said, “I am completely in love with you.” Another point I’d like to address is the fact that he even proposed at all. If he was really so in love with both girls, why did he have to propose. Other bachelors have just picked a girl to date and not proposed. He claimed that he wanted to give the relationship everything he had, but why then, did he not try harder after they got engaged. Obviously I was not privy to what exactly happened, but Jason claimed things changed, and Melissa said he wasn’t communicating that to her. Communication is key and we all know that. Jason clearly didn’t try to work on their relationship or he would have talked to Melissa about how he was feeling and tried to work through it.

If he was still thinking about Molly, why couldn’t he have said that to Melissa so she could have told him, “Well, pal, obviously things off the TV show aren’t going to be as nice and flowery as they were when we were on Winston Churchill’s boat in New Zealand. Maybe it’s making you think that things would have been just as magical with Molly, but no matter who you’re with it’s not going to be the same as going on extravagant dates and crazy adventures. There will be times when things aren’t fun, and you might not have something to talk about at every second, but silence can be just as nice when you’re with someone you love. Douche.” Or something like that, I dunno. Just a thought.

I’ve already delved into it a little, but it’s now time for my thoughts on the much-hyped “After the Final Rose”. There were so many things that disgusted me about that show, but first and foremost is the fact that Jason just “had” to break up with Melissa in front of the cameras. He claimed to People Magazine that he did it because he couldn’t see her in person otherwise, but if I was Melissa I would have preferred to get broken up with on the phone, or by email, or by text (and that’s bad because You Can’t Text Message Breakup). It’s sad when ending your engagement the same way Britney Spears ended her marriage (text message) is classier than the route you chose.

Jason also told Chris Harrison that he wanted a shot with Molly before he’d even broken up with Melissa. How was this even remotely fair to Melissa? And, let me say, there’s a recipe for a successful relationship: ending an engagement and then trying to start a new one within hours. It was ridiculous.

I also have to say that I thought that Melissa handed the situation with great class and aplomb. She was obviously upset, but didn’t throw a profanity laced tirade at Jason, and made some excellent points such as, “For me, getting engaged and finding that person is a one time thing and you took that from me.” Yeah, you ass!

Next we came to the part where Chris Harrison interviewed Molly with some very leading questions about how she would still take him back. My thoughts as I was watching were, “This interview with Molly is icky. She still wants him back? Why on earth would you still want him when he rejected you on national TV? Have some pride.” I think that pretty much says it all.

Then Jason came out and said, “Holy cow, it’s been a long time.” Wow, could they have emphasized that any more. If I had been keeping track of how many times they mentioned that Jason and Molly hadn’t seen each other it would have been at least a baker’s dozen. I think it’s all lies. She may be a little bit classless, but I don’t think she would have taken him back without any prior contact whatsoever.

Watching Jason tell Molly he broke up with Melissa was gross, Molly could barely contain her glee. After initially pretending she had a bunch of questions, she decided to give Jason another shot. Seriously. I mean, she asked him when he realized he was going to pick Melissa and all he said was that it was hard to let Molly go. Way to answer a question, ass. Despite that, Molly still took him back and proceeded to make out with him. Melissa was probably crying in the limo at that point and the whole thing made me feel like I needed to shower.

The final issue I want to share my thoughts on is ABC and the producers’ roles in all of this. I believe that Jason did want Molly all along and that the producers encouraged him to pick Melissa and then dump her. This, to me, makes both Jason and the producers skeezy, but I would say that most of the blame lies with Jason. He was the one that ultimately led Melissa to believe that he loved her and wanted to marry her. He didn’t have to go along with the producers plan. I’m sure that ABC’s contract is mighty and powerful, but I doubt there’s anything in there that says that he has to pick who they want him to. My co-blogger, Alissa, likened it to a relationship in which the man is cheating on his girlfriend. The other woman may have been a bit trashy to be doing that, but the boyfriend is the one to blame. He’s the one that was cheating, and Jason was the one that was deceiving Melissa, not the producers.

OK, I said that was my final thought, but I have one more thing to get off my chest. Molly. Molly, Molly, Molly. What can I do with the girl. I think she knew way before that taping that Jason wanted to be with her. It just seems to be the most logical conclusion to me. Why would she take him back without any contact at all? Well, actually, I’m interested in knowing why she would take him back either way, but that’s a whole other issue. I don’t think Molly is really at fault here though. It’s like Alissa’s analogy, she may be tactless, but she wasn’t the one cheating on Melissa. That being said, she shouldn’t have kissed Jason on camera. Gross.

My Final Verdict:
It was all Deanna’s fault. She was the one that pushed Jason into picking Melissa by saying he should go with the safe one instead of following his heart. Great advise Deanna. Do you see what you did to poor Jason and Molly by tearing them apart? God, she is quite a piece of work, am I right? Can I get an amen? I think we can all agree that regardless of everything else, Deanna caused all of this. Sweet little Molly sat at home crying for weeks without any contact with her one true love and poor, honorable Jason tossed and turned at night knowing that he made a tragic decision that hurt Molly, all while evil Deanna was sleeping like a baby and wicked Melissa got the good edit on TV.

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The Bachelor: Jason Mesnik (Last Episode and AtFR 1) - My Thoughts

“jason mesnik is an ass”
“jason mesnik sucks”
“jason mesnik is an idiot”

And my favorite:

“CHILD ABUSE ABC + JASON MESNICK”

All of those are searches that people have used to get to our blog since last night. And I completely agree with them. Well...maybe not the last one. That might be A BIT excessive. Although...I’m all for positive reinforcement with kids and all that, but picking out the name “Sheep” for a lamb is NOT a praise-worthy decision. (And this is coming from a girl who named her stuffed lamb “Lambie” and her two blankets “Pinky” and “Yellow Blanket”...anyone want to guess what colors they were?)

But...back to the Jason bashing!

Post/rant continues after the jump.

Here’s the thing...whether you believe ABC orchestrated this ending or you think it was completely real...whether you think Jason picked Melissa knowing he wanted Molly or you think he made a mistake and changed his mind...breaking up with your fiancé on national television is the shittiest move in Bachelor history. Or at least on all the Bachelors I’ve watched so far. If Jason did “make a mistake” and chose the wrong girl, then act like a compassionate human being and break up with her without millions of people watching. It’s not that hard. No where in the Bachelor contract did it have a clause saying, “By the way, if you do happen to break up with the woman you proposed to less than two months after filming, you kind of have to dump her ass on our show.” I mean...I haven’t read the contract, but I’m sure that’s not in there. Also not in there...the stipulation that you have to propose to anyone at all. If you’re SO torn the morning of the final rose ceremony, don’t propose. If you’re “in love with two women,” don’t propose. And if you do propose, try to mean it. We all make stupid decisions, but Melissa was totally right...if he really did think he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her, he should have tried to make it work. Or at least given a better reason than “it feels different.” Because well, that’s crap.

But I don’t blame ABC or the Bachelor. Do I think they were involved in orchestrating what happened? Yeah, I definitely do. But I wouldn’t expect anything less of them. They’re in it to make money. They’re concerned with giving us good, dramatic television, not a love story. I mean...if a love story goes along with that, awesome. But people tune in for the drama. Jason’s the one that had a relationship with Melissa. He’s the one who made the decision to humiliate her by dumping her on national television. The Bachelor can encourage him all they want, but ultimately, it’s up to him whether he wants to be a decent person or not. And he chose not to be. So...I’ll definitely still be watching The Bachelor in the future. I’ve always watched it knowing that what you see isn’t the whole story. It’s still entertaining. I mean, don’t get me wrong...I want my love story. Kristen (my co-blog author) said it best when we were talking last night. It’s like watching a movie. You know it’s not real, but you still want your happily ever after.

A few other quick thoughts on last night’s show...

The only think I dislike about Melissa, I think, is her tramp stamp. Why? Does anyone actually think those look good?

Was anyone else just sitting there dreading the final hour (knowing what happens from spoilers)? At the really cute moments...like the proposal...I should have been like “awww,” but instead I’m like, “How could you, you bastard?”

Okay, there’s no way that the conversation between Molly and Chris (about how she was still in love with Jason and would take him back and all that) happened without Molly knowing that Jason had just dumped Melissa. She HAS to have been in contact with Jason. Well, either that or she’s pretty much the most pathetic person ever. And she has to have more self-respect than that, right?

As much as Jason claims that he can’t help how he feels and he’s just following his heart and all that crap, if your heart is telling you to dump your fiancé on TV, then well, your heart’s an ass.

I’m pretty sure it’s super inappropriate to make out with another girl about 15 minutes after you dumped your fiancé on national television.

And...best lines of the night go to Melissa, for sure:

“Don’t call me. Don’t text me anymore. Leave me alone, please.”

Jason: There’s obviously no way that I’m perfect.
Melissa: I’ll second that.

And...my favorite line of the night:

“You’re such a bastard.”

Yeah...I love Melissa.

So...tomorrow night’s show? I’m hoping Jason breaks up with Molly, and they bring Jillian out, and Jason asks her for another chance. Or Naomi. Or Megan. Or maybe crazy Renee and her vision boards. Is this REALLY the best we can do for drama ABC? Because I think Jason can break up with a lot more girls...

But yeah...Jason Mesnik...worst Bachelor ever?

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The Bachelor: Jason Mesnik (Last Episode and After the Final Rose Part 1)

Alright...we didn't actually write a recap this week. Besides the fact that it's hard to recap a whole three hour episode, we also read the spoilers (didn't everyone this year?) and knew what was going to happen. Knowing what we did, we would have found it VERY hard to keep our opinions out of it. Speaking of our opinions, Kristen and I will each be writing our own reaction to the show and what Jason did tomorrow. We definitely have some opinions on what went down...

So...what did you all think? Did Jason just make an honest mistake? Did he purposely toy with Melissa's emotions? And um, who dumps their fiance on national television?

(There's nothing after the jump...no need to click!)

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