Survivor: Tocantins (Episode 3) Recap

Last week on Survivor, Brendan and Sierra dug a “fire pit”, Taj and Brendan bonded at Exile, a bromance blossomed between JT and Stephen, Coach was a pompous ass, and Candace and her boobs were sent packing. (By the way, how in the world does Coach have that much power on this show? That’s just ridiculous.) Last week was the second elimination in a row with a completely oblivious victim. Those are always the best and I hope they keep coming. Let the backstabbing begin…

Our recap begins after the jump.

Like every week, we begin with the loser tribe, which happens to be Timbira, arriving back at camp after their last ouster. Erinn, having been super close with Candace, is trying to distance herself from her since, um, everyone voted for Candace to go. She claims that she wasn’t really that close with Candace, and that she was suspicious of her. Obviously, no one is buying it, and Coach even goes as far a to say that she is insulting their intelligence. Assuming that they possess any at all, that is. Apparently Coach is super offended by the idea that Erinn is trying to save her own ass. God...I can’t stand this guy.

It’s now day 7 at Timbira and Jerry sadly coughs. Erinn, who is already looking gaunt, talks about being worried about her association with Candace. She decides that she needs to outperform the other women in her tribe at the next challenge, so show that she should be kept around.

Meanwhile, Jerry decides to skip his second meal in a row because he thinks the beans are giving him stomach problems. Jerry, it’s just gas. I know it’s embarrassing at night to be farting around people you just met, but you need your protein. To be fair...those beans look seriously disgusting, so yeah, I’d be sick too. The rice looks alright though. But really, the fact that they are focusing on this does not bode well for Jerry’s future health. Visit from the medics coming up? Jerry is trying to pretend that he’s totally fine, but um, he’s not that great of an actor?

Now were over to last week’s big winners, Jalapao. They may have won the immunity challenge, but they’re sure not winners at catching fish with the new gear they won. JT thinks the net they have is a throw net, but um, that really doesn’t seem to be the case. I’m not a fishing expert in the slightest, but aren’t you supposed to like...drag the net? Come on people. I’ve been fishing like twice when I was about 10 and I can figure this out. JT claims he would be great at this, but the water’s different than at home. Suuuure.

Anyway, JT decides to stick with what he’s good at, and fishes using the pole. He catches a few decent sized fish (guess the water’s not all that different after all) and Stephen catches a cute little baby fish. Aww...he’s learning so well! Anyway, Jalapao gets to have a decent meal of fish, which should give them an advantage at the challenge. Joe agrees with me.

Now it’s reward challenge time! This one is one of those blindfold type ones. It’s something to do with filling something with corn. The reward is some chairs, blankets, pillows, a hammock, and a large umbrella. It may not be the most practical, but certainly a morale booster. The winners will send someone to Exile and that person picks a winner to join them, like last week.

Each team has a caller. Jalapao picks Joe and Timbira picks Deb. Deb definitely seems to be calling out instructions, but not specifying who they’re for. That doesn’t seem so helpful. She also has the strategy of yelling the same word over and over. Such as, “STRAIGHT! STRAIGHT! STRAIGHT!” or “RIGHT! RIGHT! RIGHT!” Either Debbie is terrible at directions (my guess) or Jerry and Brendan are deaf.

Jalapao is pretty much kicking Timbira’s ass. I think part of this is because Deb sucks at instructions, but whatever. Jalapao is done with collecting their water and can move on to corn, but Timbira is still working on the water. Uh...yeah...Timbira’s definitely going to lose. As Jeff says, “Timbira really blowing this challenge”. Before Timbira can even finish getting their water, Jalapao wins the challenge. Coach is VERY upset, go figure.

Jalapao picks Brendan to go to Exile (again), who in turn picks Taj (also again). Should be interesting to see how this works out, assuming both of them make it to the merge. After a good start, Timbira is not doing so well. They need to come together as a tribe or they’ll never win.

Coach talks about how upset he is and how they need to start doing better. “Winners find a way to win. Losers find a way to lose”. Damn...he’s like the best coach ever. How inspirational.

Back at Timbira‘s camp, morale is not so high. Coach says that he let out a tribal yell and says that he was really embarrassed by their loss. Coach tells the tribe they shouldn’t go off in groups and blame people. I disagree. If people suck at the challenge, you should notice. People who are bad should go at this point. Well, unless they’re people I like...

Coach then goes off and talks about Sierra during the challenge. Oh, and Erinn too. Is anyone shocked that Coach is a huge hypocrite? No one? Tyson puts it simply in an interview, “One word to describe Coach…I think that’s it: coach. You know? He’s not always the best at what he’s coaching, but he thinks he knows the most.” Lucky Tyson gets to be Coach’s assistant coach and he’s definitely letting it go to his head. Tyson thinks Coach has a “school boy crush” on him. How adorable. He decides that he will eventually get promoted to coach, and decides that “If we ever get put on separate tribes in this game, I will demand that the other tribe calls me coach too”. That would be borderline amazing, actually. Ya know, I would probably like Tyson a lot more if he wasn’t all BFF-like with Coach.

Back at Jalapao, egos are running high. They think that if they win the next challenge, Timbira will be shot. At Timbira, Coach is not letting the fact that they have no comfort get the better of him. He notes that the people from Jalapao are dirtier than them anyway, so they need the comfort more. That’s actually a good way to put it. Way to go, Coach! First good thing I’ve heard from you all season.

At Exile Island, Taj picks the urn with the clue this time and it says that the immunity idols are “surrounded by wood”. I’m going to take this opportunity to leave any sexual innuendos that I have running through my mind out of this...

Although...I’m not sure how much the clue is really going to help them, considering how bad Brandon was at clues last time. Taj and Brendan decide to bring two more people into their alliance, so that they won’t get screwed over if someone else gets sent to Exile, I think. They pick Sierra from Brendan’s tribe and Stephen from Taj’s tribe. They’re hoping to have all four of them make it to the merge. I hope so too...and that they bring JT into their little group. I LOVE it when the people I like form an alliance...it makes everything so much easier.

It’s now day 8 in Jalapao who brag about the fact that they were not cold at all and were glad that Timbira had to sleep through the storm with no blankets to be seen. Sandy is feeling so good that she says, “I know I’m a sex kitten this morning. There’s no doubt in my mind.” Well, maybe there should be Sandy, maybe there should be. Seems like they’re getting pretty cocky over there, I want to see them knocked down off their high horses.

It’s now time for the immunity challenge and the perfect opportunity for Jalapao to be knocked down a peg. Two from each tribe at a time will race and roll crates back to the line. Then they have to correctly stack the crates (so it spells out their name) and they can like...climb up it? I don't know...something like that.

Jalapao takes an early lead, but Timbira quickly overpasses them due to a good job by Tyson and Sierra. Stephen and Sydney kind of suck for Jalapao. Jerry’s obviously not doing well at all. Timbira definitely has the lead (although not a HUGE lead) in this challenge though, at least when it comes to bringing back the crates. Stacking them may be a whole different story.

Erinn is leading Timbira when it comes to stacking, so if she can do well, this could be good for her. Um, but apparently it won’t be, since Timbira is arguing a heck of a lot. Jalapao, on the other hand, seems to be kind of kicking ass. It’s coming down to the last piece, but Jalapao wins in the end. Dang! As Timbira loses, Jerry says “I’m through, I’m finished”. Does that mean he wants to go? That could completely save Erinn, who seems the obvious choice to be going otherwise. Jerry was pretty horrible in the challenge...

Back at camp, Jerry seems in pretty bad shape, but he says he’s not going to quit. Guess that’s not what he meant.

At Timbira, Jerry is not feeling well and people seem mildly concerned. Jerry does his best not to show his weakness. It seems like it’s not working and the tribe talk about how Jerry should go. Coach is not happy with this because I guess Erinn made some sort of evil face when she realized that Jerry was sick and that meant she was staying.

Coach first talks about this with Tyson, who will now be known as “Assistant Coach.” After talking to Assistant Coach, Coach talks about sending Erinn home with Sierra and Debbie. Coach, who’s ego is still larger than Brazil says, “I cannot exist around people like that. You guys can, because you can socialize with them. I am so true that existing around people who smile evilly when somebody else is on their knees, it kills me” Oh Coach, you are so true and superior, obviously. Sierra tells the camera that she’s not stupid, so she’s going to get rid of the weakest link (Jerry), despite how she personally feels about him. Assistant Coach obviously love Coach’s plan and tells Jerry that nobody is trying to vote him out, which is complete and utter bullshit.

Later, Brendan goes to the Tree Mail area to look for the immunity necklace. He finds it pretty easily under the grass skirt of some little treemail statue. Wow, I’m surprised he found it so quickly; he really doesn’t seem that smart. I wonder if he and Taj were looking in the same place.

Brendan hides the idol and I hope that he remembers where he hid it. It’s definitely a good idea to hide the Idol, though. People clearly go through everyone’s stuff to try to find it. But here’s what I want to know...if someone came upon his hidden Idol, could they just take it? They might not realize someone had already found it. But it’s also like...illegal to steal the Idol from someone. Tricky.

Erinn says that she wants to remind people that Jerry is sick without looking like a bitch and Jerry tells people that his health is improving, and my goodness! His smile is so big and bright. Wow, that sounded lame, but really, it’s almost blinding. Erinn doesn’t look too happy that Jerry’s feeling better (Is he even feeling better? Or is he faking it to try to stay?) Either way, how sweet of her. Tyson, who is also a sweetheart says, “Erinn wants to be here so, so bad that her getting blindsided would look really cool. I love seeing people cry when you crush their dreams.” And, honestly, it is pretty amusing and all that, but I so want Coach to not get his way.

Now on to tribal council where Jeff asks the tribe how they feel about momentum and how important it is to the tribe. Tyson says that all they need is one win. Jeff points out that no one would listen to Erinn’s plan, and she talks about how frustrating it is.

Jeff asks Brendan if the tribe communicates well. Brendan thinks they do, but Jerry vehemently disagrees. Jerry thinks they need a leader. Jeff asks who he’d suggest, and Jerry says Brendan. Oooh...the look on Coach’s face there. How pissed off do you think he is that Jerry didn’t suggest him as the leader. Jeff asks Coach what he thinks of the idea of Brendan as the leader, and Coach basically says that HE should be leader, naturally. I wouldn’t expect anything less of him. Apparently on the truck as they were collecting what items they wanted, Coach instructed everyone on what they should get using his eyes. Um...right...this guy’s crazy.

Jeff asks Erinn about her opinion of this, and Erinn says that she thinks Coach may be used to being the leader, but Brendan’s a better leader. Hahaha. That’s clearly true. Coach and Erinn get into a little fight/discussion. Jeff calls Coach out on having a big ego, and Coach tries to claim he doesn’t. Riiiiight. So um, voting time?

We see that Erinn votes for Jerry, Jerry votes for Erinn, and Coach brought his trench coat to Tribal again. You know how chilly it gets in the Brazil. Jeff tallies the votes, asks if anyone wants to play the Immunity Idol (you know Brendan won’t play it), and then reads the votes. And they are:

Jerry
Jerry
Erinn
Jerry
Jerry

And thus, Jerry is the third to leave, and Tyson didn’t get to see Erinn cry. Apparently everyone voted for Jerry. What happened to Coach and Tyson’s big upset?

Bottom Four:
Coach: It’s pretty self-explanatory, but if we had to give a reason, it’d be his GIANT ego.
Assistant Coach (aka Tyson): He says some really funny stuff, but we can’t get past the fact that he’s Coach’s lackey.
Sandy: We didn’t see too much of her, but “not seeing too much” is still too much.
Sydney: We don’t really have a reason. We just don’t like her.

Core Four (Plus One):
We really couldn’t narrow it down to just four people. So yes, we’re breaking our rules, but it’s our blog dammit! We do what we want!

Sierra: She’s still our little underdog and she’s looking better and better as far as position in camp goes. Barring seriously bad performance, she’s safe for at least one more week, and may be joining a secret alliance of four soon.
Taj: Anyone with that maniacal of a laugh must be in our Core Four. Plus, she’s sitting pretty if she makes it to the merge.
Stephen: A potential member of the secret alliance of four and he doesn’t seem to have a giant ego, which is enough to put him in our Core Four.
JT: He didn’t have much of a role in tonight’s episode, but we’re still smitten from last week. Keep it up Huckleberry Finn.
Brendan: At first he just looked like a tool, but he might just be smarter than we thought. He found an idol and may have entered into a very powerful alliance.

Continue reading...»

The Bachelor: Jason Mesnik - Women Tell All Recap

Last week, Molly and Jason took a leap of faith, Jillian was just a friend (who you make a soft-core porn with in a hot tub), and Jason couldn’t let his hang-up with Melissa’s parents go. This week is The Women Tell All, which means two hours filled with uncomfortable situations and women scorned. We’ll also get to see some past Bachelor and Bachelorette contestants and how they’re doing now. They’re all married with children, right? I mean, that’s what this show is for. Well, let’s see hell’s fury be released…

See all the awkwardness (and our review/kind of recap) after the jump.

Most Unintentionally Humiliating Moment
Holly admitting to getting with Graham, Robert, and Jesse. And those are only the ones that she told us about. It seems like Rock of Love might have been her true calling, rather than the Bachelor.

Worst Use (Or Lack of Use) of a Bachelorette
Renee, for sure. Why in the world was crazy Renee there if they weren't going to talk to or mock her AT ALL? So disappointing.

Most Uncomfortable Moment
We loved (absolutely loved) Fred when he was on Deanna’s season of the Bachelorette, but hearing him and Noelle (Matt’s season) cooing about each other was sort of uncomfortable. Maybe it was just jealousy though?

Most Ridiculous Claim
“I didn’t want any confrontation. I don’t like it.” – Megan

Most Inaccurate Claim
“Jason, thanks for being here. Thanks for facing the women.” – Chris Harrison. Um, what exactly did he face that was so difficult? Stephanie and Jillian talking about how great he is? I'm pretty sure that's not worthy of thanks. Jason had it SO easy.

Most Misrepresented Moment
Megan and Erica may claim they weren’t starting drama...we all saw the footage and Megan’s frequent swear-ridden tirades. Those girls were trouble and we all know it.

Most Unfair Moment
When everyone, including Chris Harrison, attacked Natalie and then wouldn’t let her defend herself. I definitely heard someone in the background say, “In Natalie’s defense…”, but that person definitely didn’t get to talk. Natalie may be conceited, but at least let her defend herself without being asked leading questions.

Worst Outfit of the Night
Stephanie's peach silk pants. Wow.

Most Classy Moment
Stephanie, as always, took the high road and had nothing but nice things to say about anyone, including Jason. She went as far as to say that she was glad to see Jason. She may have bad fashion sense, but she just seems like a genuinely nice person.

Most True Comment of the Night
“Lauren is...such a bitch.” – Erika

Most Satisfying Moment
We thought that Jillian and Jason actually had a nice talk, and it was nice to see that Jillian had made peace with what had happened and had a civil conversation with Jason. No sour grapes there!

Girl Who Most Changed Our Minds
Jillian. Despite earlier feelings towards her, we actually think she might make a good bachelorette. (See? We can learn to like Canadians...)

Best Four Quotes by Our Illustrious Host, Chris Harrison
1) “‘Since we’re on national television, let’s put it in baseball terms. First base…?”
2) “Cine-a-max called. They said it was too hot.”
3) “Three hours of sex is A LOT.”
4) “The man who gets more air time than I do.” (Introducing Caesar, the limo driver)

Best Four Quotes by Previous Bachelors/Bachelorettes
1) “When you have a child, it brings a whole new world into your world.” – Trista Stutter
2) “I don’t really know what happened, but we went home together that night.” – Sarah
3) “Those are two of the nicest genuine people on the face of planet earth.” – Jesse
4) “He like got super creepy on me” – Holly (about Robert, shocking, right?)

Best Four Quotes by Current Bachelorettes
1) “Chris, you need to calm down.” – Natalie
2) “I hope he finds happiness...I hope I do too!” – Stephanie
3) “Clearly they all love me so much. I’m kidding.” – Natalie
4) “Well, it’s bad when you’re wanting the person to propose to you.” – Jillian (in response to Jason saying it wasn’t a bad thing that he saw her as just a “best friend”)

So...what did you all think? Was anyone else disappointed by the lack of drama? Are they just trying to make everyone look good because the After the Final Rose show is supposed to be so shocking (or horrible, depending on who you talk to)?

Continue reading...»

Survivor: Tocantins (Episode 2) Recap

Last week on Survivor, Sandy and Sierra gave a bad first impression, Coach was self-important, Sandy didn’t know what a pace was, and Carolina hit the hills. Survivor has already thrown in a twist and there's been a total blindside...and that was the only first episode! Hopefully this season will continue to produce drama. Let the alliance-forming begin.

Check out the rest of our recap after the jump.

As per Survivor custom, we start with the loser tribe returning to camp after tribal council, and we’re shown them trying to start a fire in the dark. Sandy is naturally happy that she wasn’t sent home and thanks her tribe mates. She says that Carolina played her cards wrong, but she probably shouldn’t pat herself on the back yet since Spencer made it clear in an interview that Sandy’s next to go anyways.

Now it’s the next day at Jalapao camp and they’re eating what appears to be some sort of melon. Spencer talks about how as a teenager, he’s used to always having food. I’m not sure that’s just a teenager thing, but okay. Joe says that veggies are fine, but that the tribe needs meat. Joe decides that they should have termites. I think Joe is from Texas, so I’m assuming he would rather have a good steak. In the termite mounds, the group finds some nasty bugs that look like they belong in a food challenge. Some of them eat them, and I must say they are behaving like they’ve been stranded for months even though this is day 5. If you guys are that hungry now, how’s it going to be on day 39?

At Timbira, Sierra, realizing that she still is sitting in a bad position, decides that she should look for the hidden immunity idol. Instead of looking for it on her own, she enlists the help of Brendan, since he’s the only one who didn’t vote for her originally. The Idol probably won’t be that useful for him, since it can only be used at their first Tribal Council, but he’s still going to help her look for it. Why not, I guess. Can’t really hurt.

They set out to find the idol and quickly find the first clue. Unlike Sandy, the two of them know what a pace is and begin to dig. Meanwhile, back at camp, the group wonders where they are and send Debbie to check on them. Because they’re so secretive, they do not have a giant hole dug in the sand at the beach. Wait, I’m sorry, they are not covert at all and are digging a massive hole right in the middle of the beach. Smooth guys, real smooth. They tell Debbie that they’re digging a huge fire pit to make a bonfire and she actually seems to believe it. How dense can she be?

Candace, on the other hand, is not so enthused about the idea and says that she probably won’t go. Ummm… aren’t they stranded in the middle of nowhere? What else does she have to do? Besides Candace’s disapproval of the idea of a fire pit, no one seems to think it’s odd that they were randomly digging a random hole on the beach. Umm...have these people never seen Survivor before?

Sierra decides that it’s not worth it finding the idol even though she’ll probably be voted out first.

Next, we’re back at Timbira and Candace says that she could really go for some steamed sea bass cooked in foil with lime and oil, and Tyson deadpans that they could probably find all of that around the camp and Candace actually believes it. As a side note I would like to say that Candace needs to wear a bra. Her boobs are really grossing me out.

There’s already some friction in camp, and Coach and Candace are butting heads. Coach says that they have similar personalities in that they both look to find faults in other people. Proving that he’s an arrogant jerk, Coach says that, “I do it because I’m a coach and I do it because that’s my job and I think maybe she does it because that’s just her nature.” Ummm, Coach, it’s not your job out here, so I guess it is in your nature too, ass.

Apparently in REAL LIFE Candace would have been an even bigger ass and like attacked him and broke down his insecurities, but she’s holding back, since she’s on Survivor. Man, she’s ruthless in real life, but not in the game. Shouldn’t it be the opposite? Candace says of Coach, “That man has an ego bigger than Brazil. That will be the death of him.” Probably true, although if I were a betting woman, I would say that it will be Candace’s downfall as well. Coach kind of apologizes to Candace I guess, and then wants to either kiss her or lick her face. I can’t figure out which. Either way, that guy is so messed up.

Now at Jalapao, Taj tells the camp that she normally looks cuter. God, I hope so. She also lets it slip that she’s married to Eddie George, Heisman winner and former pro-football player. Spencer, Joe, and Hick all know who he is and look surprised that she told them that so non-chelantly. Stephen, the nerd from New York, obviously has no idea who Eddie George is. J.T. tells the camera that his perspective on Taj has changed because she obviously has more money than any of them. Spencer seems very impressed by it though.

It begins to rain as Jeff tells the tribes about their second immunity challenge. Since I never really pay attention as Jeff explains the rules, I can only say that it’s something about scoring goals. First team to three wins immunity, fishing gear, and the right to send a member of the other team to Exile Island. Apparently there’s a new Exile Island twist, but Jeff is being a tease and won’t tell us yet.

First round is Taj, Stephen, and Sydney for Jalapao vs. Sierra, Candace, and Tyson for Timbira. The game gets violent fast, which I love. Candace ends up scoring, giving Timbira the lead.

Next match up is JT, Joe, and Sandy for Jalapao vs. Erinn, Brendan, and Tyson (again) for Timbira. God, I love the violence of this. This match is really just about the boys, since Sandy refuses to let go of Erinn’s bikini, so the two of them are basically just sitting at the other end of the game. Tyson scores, giving Timbira a 2-0 lead.

Next round is all girls...Candace, Sierra, and Erinn for Timbira vs. Taj, Sydney, and Sandy for Jalapao. I’m pretty sure the girls just tried to drown Sierra. Awesome. Taj takes a couple of open shots and completely misses, Candace also tries, also misses, and eventually Sydney scores, putting Jalapao on the board.

Now we get a guys round with JT, Joe, and Spencer for Jalapao vs. Brendan, Coach, and Jerry for Timbira. Coach can barely walk through the water, and JT scores fairly early on. So now it’s tied 2-2.

Final match up is Stephen, Sydney, and Taj for Jalapao vs. Sierra, Candace, and Tyson for Timbira. This game is pretty intense, with no one getting off any good shots for a while. The match ups are Stephen vs. Tyson, Sierra vs. Sydney, and Candace vs. Taj, and they all seem pretty evenly paired. Also, these people all kind of suck at shooting. Stephen eventually scores, giving Jalapao the win. Boooo.

Jalapao, as the winners, decide to send Brendan to Exile Island. In a shocking twist, Brendan gets to chose one member of the winning tribe to go with him to Exile Island. He chooses to bring Taj with him, and they head off with a map and the hope of finding an idol.

We see a talking head of Tyson saying that Sierra’s probably going to be the one to go for their tribe. Ahhh...I hope not. That girl better start searching hardcore for the Idol.

An excited Jalapao gets back to camp and does a tribe cheer. Sandy is glad they won because if they lost there was probably a “50% chance” she was going home. Ummm. I would have put the odds a bit higher than that, dear. Who else would even be considered?

The J.T. and Stephen quickly get to work with the fishing gear they won and J.T. stands out as knowing what he’s doing. Stephen is particularly impressed and as he puts it, “He might just be seducing me with his pretty county ways, but I’m smitten.” We see some adorable Norman Rockwell painting worthy shorts of JT teaching Stephen to fish, and Stephen declares that he is going to become the greatest spear fisherman ever and J.T. remarks that they “ain’t got nothin’ but time and hunger pains.” They come back from fishing empty handed but for the heartwarming new friendship they formed.

We now head to an extremely barren-looking Exile where Brendan declares that he thinks that this will be a good opportunity to get information from Taj. Once at Exile they find two urns from which to choose. Taj chooses the empty one and Brendan’s urn contains the first immunity idol clue (something about Tribal Homeland —so back at camp?) and a note that tells him he can switch to the other tribe if he wants. . Would Taj then have to go to his tribe? Brendan says there’s no way he’s going to change tribes, so I guess we won’t find out just yet. He decides to share his clue with Taj, so she still tags along with him as he fruitlessly searches for the idol. Taj correctly tells him that the clue means it’s back at camp. Taj and Brendan bond, and decide they both want to get sent back to Exile for more clues. Dang...Brendan’s forming alliances left and right.

Back at Timbira camp, some of them start talking about Coach, since he sucked at the challenge hardcore. Candace tries to throw Coach under the bus and get him sent home. She describes him as being all words and no action and as being, “one of the church women at my church who go every Sunday and wear these hats, but that ain’t on the up and up.” I think the idea is that he acts like he’s a certain way, but it’s actually bullshit. Or she might just think he should cover up his hair with a hat, which I completely agree with.

Later, Debbie tells Coach that Candace was trash-talking him and Coach, hearing this, decides that Candace should be the next to go. So much for his keeping strong players around plan. Yeah...there’s a reason no one ever does that. You get rid of strong players when they’re a threat. Saying you want to win against the best is cute and all that, but umm...you need to actually get to the end for it to matter.

Brendan now heads back to camp and is greeted by hugs. He tells the group that she got the urn with the clue in it, and that she went off looking for it without him. That was actually a good move on his part. The best lies have a grain of truth to them. They seem to believe him, although you’d think they’d still be suspicious either way.

Later at Timbira, Erinn and Candace talk about wanting to get rid of Coach, although they’re not sure this is the best time. They decide to wait to make a move on Coach. Boy, things are definitely looking good for Sierra. I never thought I would say that after the idol search snafu.

The whole tribe (minus Sierra) talk about “sticking with the original plan”, meaning getting rid of Sierra, although at least Coach has no intention of going with this. Tyson and Jerry talk about what they’re going to do. I think they might still stick with Sierra, but I’m not totally sure. Coach tells Sierra that he’s voting for Candace, but Sierra doesn’t feel very safe. That makes sense. Why would anyone trust Coach?

Erinn and Candace talk, and Candace assures Erinn that if anyone strays, neither of them will be the target. I definitely hope that Candace goes, because I like Sierra. Candace will be way more fun to see voted out, since she thinks there’s no way to going. Who doesn’t love a nice blindside?

Now they head to Tribal Council, where Jeff starts asking questions about how the tribe feels about Sierra and why they voted for her originally. He then turns the questions to how well Candace is getting along with the tribe. So um...who do we think are the possible targets this week? Jeff has to ask way more questions than they actually show, because otherwise it’d be pretty obvious who was getting votes, or at least being considered for votes.

Jeff then asks about Brendan and his experience at Exile, and Coach talks about how Brendan says he didn’t get the clue. Coach believes him, because apparently Coach completely trusts Brendan. Jerry talks about trusting and liking people on his tribe too.

Erinn, on the other hand, is reasonable. She points out that you can’t trust people after three days just because you trekked four hours through the jungle together. Very good point.

And then it’s time to vote. The tribe votes and when Coach comes back from voting, coat in hand, Jeff goes to “tally the votes.”

Jeff asks if anyone has the hidden Immunity Idol, and, of course, Sierra doesn’t. The votes are:

Candace
Sierra
Candace
Candace
Candace
Candace

With (at least) five votes, Candace is gone. So...did anyone else NOT vote for Candace? Because weren’t her and Erinn all BFF-like? Interesting.

Core Four


Sierra: She seems like the weakest person there, yet she survived again. She’s definitely becoming our favorite underdog.

Stephen: He may be a geeky New Yorker, but his newfound friendship with J.T. is pretty cute.

J.T.: He’s good at surviving and he is still wooing us (and Stephen) with his Southern charm.


Brendan: Even though he was a little slow about the clue, he did a good job lying about Exile Island.

Continue reading...»

Survivor: Tocantins (Episode 1) Recap (Kind of)

Tomorrow (or actually, probably early Friday morning) we're going to start our recaps of Survivor episodes. For the time being, we thought we'd just give a little rundown of the first episode.

Find out what we thought of the castaways after the jump.

Best Moments:
1) When Sandy couldn't find the idol, even though the clues couldn't have been any more clear. Who doesn't know what a pace is? Seriously?
2) When Erinn said that her first impression of Tyson was that he looks like a good guy to have around, and hesaid his impression of Erinn was that she looked like a bitch. Ouch.
3) When the black tribe (Timbira) came back from behind to win the Immunity Idol. They're our favorite, and it's super annoying when our favorite tribe doesn't do well. So...yay!
4) When Carolina told Sandy how sad she was that Sandy was going to be going home. We always love it when they're completely oblivious.

Bottom Four:
1) Coach – He says his plan is to shake up the game so that it’s no longer the weak people who win. Great idea. I can’t wait for a final five filled with a bunch of dumb meatheads. Did he miss the outwit part of the Survivor tagline? Also, did you see his hair?
2) Sandy – This lady is all sorts of crazy. The fact that she had an outburst when her tribe voted for her doesn’t bode well for her future in the game. She should have been trying to butter them up, not alienate herself further.
3) Carolina – The idea of cleaning up the outdoors is ridiculous, and so was her voice. Good riddance.
4) Erinn – We didn't see much of her, but what we did see didn't really impress. Plus, she's already in the bottom four just for spelling her name with two Ns.

Core Four:
1) Sierra – Knowing that she made a bad first impression on her tribe, she build them a whole camp instead of selfishly searching for the idol. Then she did well in the challenge, completely changing her tribe’s opinion of her (except Coach’s, but he’s a moron).
2) Tyson – We all know that Survivor loves an exhibitionist, and Tyson looks a lot better naked than Richard Hatch. Plus, he kind of kicked ass at the challenge.
3) JT – We fully recognize that he might end up annoying the crap out of us, but we love us a good country boy. Also, he said that getting along with his tribemates is going to be the hardest part of the game for him, so at least he’s self aware.
4) Brendan – We barely saw any of him, but the fact that he didn’t buy into Coach’s bullshit automatically makes us like him.

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The Bachelor: Jason Mesnik (Episode 7) Recap

Last week, Jillian saw Ogopogo, Jason drew a creepy clown Molly, Melissa’s family ditched her, Naomi’s mom threw a bird funeral, and Naomi left without handling ANY bitches with smacks. I mean, I’m glad she left, but I’m still not over the fact that absolutely no bitches were smacked. This week they’re all headed to New Zealand to walk the trail through Mordor to Mount Doom. Let the overnight dates begin…

The Fantasy Suites (and my review/recap) begins after the jump.

To start this episode, Jason says he doesn’t know which girl is “the one”. But wait, doesn’t he get engaged in like...a week? I don’t buy it. But then again, I never believe them when they say they don’t know up until the very end.

Anyway, Jason is super excited to take the girls to New Zealand. He says that he wants to figure out which girl is the one. He’s falling for each of them, but in different ways. According to Jason, Jillian is fun and funny, but he’s worried that she’s too independent. He’s now seen her soft side, but he feels that their connection might not be romantic enough. Again, Jason says that Molly has beautiful eyes. I can’t believe that he can even see them through all that eyeliner. He’s very happy that Molly’s family liked him and thinks that their approval can take their relationship to the next level. Melissa reminds Jason of Deanna and his ex wife. I guess that means she’s his type…but we saw how well those relationships worked out. He was worried she wasn’t ready for a family but she’s proven that she is. He is also worried that he didn’t get to meet her parents. Ugh...seriously...that just bugs me. IT’S NOT HER FAULT.

The girls and Jason are now in Queenstown, New Zealand and Jason says he knows his wife is in this group of girls. Jason’s first date is with Jillian and he’s picking her up in a helicopter. Oh, how cute, they’re wearing matching flannel shirts. How Canadian. (Ou, “Quel canadien,” pour tout notre lecteurs Canadien, qui parlent seulement le français, naturellement). They fly over a snow-capped mountain range and Jillian described it as walking on clouds. No pun intended. After the copter ride, they sit down on a cliff and compliment each other. Jillian still sounds like she’s going to cry every time she talks. Maybe she has an issue with her nerves or something? Jason says he thinks Jillian is someone who he could be friends with forever. Oooh...that doesn’t sound good for Jillian. He says he’s looking for that passionate connection with her. Jason compares their relationship to being on the edge of a cliff. Like...you could easily fall to your death? Awesome.

The next part of Jason and Jillian’s date is dinner by fireside. They talk about how much fun their date was and how great their conversations are. They sure love to compliment themselves, don’t they? Jason asks her how she feels about him and she piles on compliment after compliment while Jason silently waits until she’s said enough nice things about him. Then they kiss. Jillian, quite the forward one, asks Jason if he has something to give her. Whoa...calm down there. When they get to the fantasy suite Jillian throws a couple more compliments Jason’s way and they go at it a hot tub. Like, seriously, they really go at it. Man, The Bachelor is getting pretty risqué.

The next date is with Molly, and Molly says she wants to take their relationship to the next level because so far they’ve mostly been playful with each other. Jason takes Molly to what he describes as the most beautiful view in New Zealand and then tells her to jump off it. Jason screamed and before they were even done swinging Molly wants to do it again. They make out while hanging upside down and Molly compares bungee jumping to falling in love. Why are all our love comparisons in this episode so...dangerous?

After the bungee jumping, Molly pulls out a list of questions to ask Jason. She says that she wants to know the little things about Jason if she’s going to become engaged to him. She doesn’t want to be engaged to a guy whose favorite ice cream flavor she doesn’t know. That’s a fair point, but I think one flavor is a lot to ask, there are so many good ones. Through Molly’s questioning we find out that Jason likes Greece, Elvis, peanut butter chocolate ice cream, and old Air Jordans. Molly has one question left on her list (the most important question), but she’s saving it for later that night.

As they head into the night part of their date Molly and Jason both muse to the camera about how Molly needs to open up and tell Jason how she’s feeling. At dinner Molly says that New Zealand is her favorite place ever, I assume because she hasn’t travelled much. I’m not saying New Zealand wouldn’t be amazing, but if you’ve only been there a day, how do you really know? Unless the only places you’ve been are like Topeka and Spokane.

Jason tells Molly that he noticed that Molly’s parents weren’t very affectionate and Molly says that her family isn’t very mushy gushy and that it’s hard for her to open up. She then tells him that she’s falling in love with him, and Jason seems very, very happy. Molly and Jason both tell the camera (separately) that this was a turning point in their relationship, in a good way. Molly then busts out the last question which was asking him to spend the night with her. She’s the second girl in a row that didn’t wait for Jason to ask her. What skanks. Jason and Molly go to the Fantasy Suite and drink wine in a bathtub. Molly says she’s looking forward to “sleeping next to Jason tonight”. Riiiiight. Sleeping next to. Yup.

Jason’s third, and final, date is with my girl Melissa. Jason is still fretting about not meeting her parents. To start their date, Jason and Melissa go out on a lake in Winston Churchill’s old boat. Melissa tells Jason that she’s scared about the future, but she thinks that Jason is worth it. The whole time Melissa and Jason are intertwined and touching each other because they have the best connection, and we all know it. After the boat ride, they go into a hot pool and talk about Melissa’s parents. Jason tells the camera that he’s falling in love with Melissa and that her parents can’t affect how he feels for her. This is the only girl that he’s said specifically that he is falling in love with them, but he ruins it by saying “I can fall in love with Melissa without meeting her parents, but it can only go so far”. So does that mean he wouldn’t propose to her?

The next part of Melissa and Jason’s date was in a private room of a restaurant and they talk more about her family. She says she talks to her brother almost every day and sees her parents a couple times a week. She asks him if not meeting her family was a huge deal and Jason is pretty evasive about his answer. Jason presents Melissa with the fantasy suite card and she happily accepts.

Melissa tells the camera that she wants to tell Jason that she loves him, but her insecurities are getting the best of her. She talks to Jason about how this experience brings out the insecurities in her, and she’s worried about what she could possibly lose. She says she’s never felt the way that she feels before. And tells Jason that she’s fallen in love with him and Jason looks thrilled and kisses her. He tells the camera that he was so happy when he heard that and that any doubts that he’s had about her are gone. I’m guessing she’s staying then.

Okay, it’s Rose Ceremony night and we still have like 35 minutes left in the episode. That’s a lot of time for them only having three girls left. We see Jason getting ready (shirtless, of course), while reflecting on what a great week it’s been and how he could see himself with each of the girls. Chris Harrison shows up to talk to Jason.

Jason mulls over his dates with Chris Harrison and basically rehashes everything that he’s been saying throughout this episode. Chris Harrison asks Jason if he knows yet who he’s sending home, and Jason says he doesn’t. As a fun bonus, each girl made Jason a personal video saying how they feel or whatever, to help Jason make up his mind.

Jillian talks about how she’s “in awe” of Jason. She hasn’t connected with anyone like she has with Jason, and she thinks they’ll have an incredible life together.

Molly talks about how she’s ready to take the next step with him. Oh, and she says she’s “madly” in love with Jason. Really? On a video?

Melissa says that spending time with Jason has been some of the best of her life because of Jason. She says it was hard for her to tell him that she was falling in love with him, but seeing him reassured her concerning that. She ends it with, “I miss you and I love you”. Awww.

Jason tells the camera he’s falling for each of the girls in different ways and he doesn’t know how he’s going to pick. He think they each could be great in his life and in Ty’s life. He says getting rid of one of them will be incredible tough. Eh...seeing Jillian go won’t be tough for me at all (fingers crossed).

Now it’s Rose Ceremony time, and Melissa looks happy, and the other two girls look nervous. Chris Harrison tells the girls that the two who get roses will stay in New Zealand and meet Jason’s family (including Ty). And, obviously, one of them will be going home.

Jason comes out and says that he’s falling for all of them (again), but that one of them has to go home. “I have to do the most selfish thing that I’ve ever done...and that’s break one of your hearts tonight. And that really hurts me”. Yeah...bet it will hurt her even more!

Now it’s rose time! And the first rose goes to:

Melissa (The One): I knew it! You can just tell that she is the one he is falling in love with.

And the second (and final) rose goes to...wait. Did Chris Harrison not come out to tell us that this is the final rose? What’s up with that? Anyway, it goes to:

Molly (Bungee Girl) Wow!! I am very surprised, but that definitely works for me.

That means Jillian is going home! I really did not see this one coming. Jason walks Jillian out and starts out by apologizing. He says that he’s never met anyone like her before, “like ever”. Jason thinks that their lives are too different though. Jillian disagrees with him. Jason doesn’t really know what to say because, um, it’s a really awkward moment. Jason brings up the whole wanting a best friend AND MORE thing, and Jillian’s all, “I think you and I had that”. Well, I guess he didn’t. Jillian tells Jason that she had fallen in love with him and she tells him that she had a dream about Ty wearing her high-heeled shoes and then taking a nap with her and Jason. Maybe she should have told him all of this before he sent her home. Just a thought. At least Jillian says that what she’s looking for most of all is someone who likes her for her, which is good. Aw, she’s crying and I feel bad for the girl, especially because I mean, what does she have to go back to? Canada?

In the limo Jillian says that she thinks she was better for him than either Molly or Melissa. And then we see Jason sitting on a bench crying. Poor dear. Jillian says that her life hasn’t been easy, and she doesn’t really expect anything. Ew...are they going to make her the next Bachelorette? Could they even find 25 guys who would be willing to go to Canada?

Okay, they toast and the show ends, but we still have at least five minutes left, so this must be the longest next episode preview in the history of the world.

As we all know, next week is The Women Tell All, so get ready for some bitchiness. After that, we get “the most dramatic season finale in Bachelor history”. And oh, Deanna finally comes back. It all looks very intense.

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Real World: Brooklyn (Episode 6) Recap

Okay, I’m getting pretty bored with this season so far. So uh, they better step it up. Get drunk. Get mad. Throw things. Have sex with each other. That kind of thing. I know people seem to be all excited that this cast doesn’t just do those things, but I mean, what’s the point of the Real World? I see a bunch of normal people living normal lives on a regular basis. I watch the show for the crazies.

Spoilers after the jump.

Previously on the Real World: JD was a drunk asshole, the boys and girls hate each other, and Katelynn still hasn’t told everyone that she’s transgender.

We start out with Katelynn walking around in underwear and a tank top, because she feels comfortable with it. Other roommates do not, specifically Scott and Ryan. Devyn, who still doesn’t know for sure that Katelynn is transgender, discusses the rumors with the cameras. She apparently assumes she’ll be able to see something that shows her Katelynn’s transgender. I guess she doesn’t understand the concept of being a post-op transgender?

Sarah asks Katelynn why she’s not wearing clothes, because um, it’s not appropriate. Katelynn says she doesn’t give a crap, basically.

Now Katelynn, JD, and Sarah head to some Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, & Transgender Community Center. Wait...if this is a LGBT outing, where are Scott and Blayne? It’s not nice to leave them out. Anyway, the three of them are interested in volunteering there. Katelynn would like to work with the trans community, JD would like to work with marriage equality programs, and Sarah would like to do some sort of art class.

Ector, from the center, wonders if they’d like to be involved in some 3 day bike ride from Gettysburg to Brooklyn that is raising funds for HIV/AIDS awareness. Katelynn has lost three close friends to AIDS, so this is an important issue to her.

They tell the other roommates about it when they get home, and apparently Ryan is from Gettysburg. He’s super excited/shocked by the fact that Gettysburg is mentioned outside of Pennsylvania, and obviously wouldn’t mind visiting home, so he’s going to come to the event to. JD invites Blayne to come as well, and he agrees because he can’t pass up an opportunity to admire men in bike shorts.

Now Ryan is on the phone with Michelle ma Belle, telling her that he’s going to be coming to Gettysburg with his “seven crazy roommates”. Oh, and we see a talking head shot of Ryan with shorter hair. Yeah...not a good decision. It looked much better longer. Michelle ma Belle sounds more excited about how excited Ryan must be than Ryan actually is excited (if that makes any sense).

Okay, now something gets delivered to the house for Katelynn, and oh, it’s a stripper pole. Awesome. She says she’s still getting acclimated to the power of femininity, which I guess involves stripping. She somehow thinks pole dancing is going to make her feel like a powerful female. I mean, I’ve heard people claim that strippers hold the power, but I don’t buy it. They’re being objectified by lots of old drunk horny men. But Katelynn seems to enjoy spinning around on the pole. She’s not too bad at it, I guess, although I’m not super knowledgeable about pole dancing talent. Katelynn says that it might be easier if she came out to everyone in the house, but she’s not sure she’s ready to.

Katelynn’s walking around without pants again, and Ryan’s all, “Dammit, Katelynn, put some pants on!” I second that request. Ryan is apparently disgusted to look at her knowing that she used to be a man. Ooookay. I don’t really care to see her walking around without pants, but it has nothing to do with her being transgender. Katelynn tells the camera (in a confessional, I think) that she wants to be able to show off and enjoy her body because she’s only had it for three months. Ryan and Blayne, being assholes, eavesdrop on her conversation. Shouldn’t the confessional be soundproof?

Ryan (and Blayne) proudly announce to JD, Baya, and Scott (maybe) what they heard, saying “Oh my god! She cut off her wiener”. Nice. JD doesn’t care about keeping secrets, apparently, since he tells them she went to Thailand for the surgery. Oh, but he says not to tell her that he told them, so it’s all okay.

It’s the day that they’re going to Gettysburg, and Ryan decides to wake them all up to get ready at 7AM by banging on pots. Katelynn is annoyed because she hasn’t had her coffee or estrogen yet, so she goes into Ryan’s room, steals his alarm clock, and throws it out the window, with Devyn encouraging her.

Blayne loves men, so he suggests having a boy’s car and a girl’s car. The other roommates agree, because girls have cooties and stuff. They get into their separate cars, and the gossiping about each other commences.

The boys refuse to give the girls directions, and for some reason have Scott leading the way. That’s a bad idea, since Scott is an idiot. The girls agree with this, and decide to go off on their own. When the guys notice the girls are gone, Scott suggests they might have “gone to get a vagina hair trim”. Oh Scott, you’re so witty.

Ryan’s brother is waiting for them in Gettysburg, and the guys get there first. They chase some tour bus down in their car, and are super excited that the girls didn’t make the tour. What the hell kind of Real World is this? When is the hooking up going to start?

The girls get there late, but they manage to find the bus tour partway through. The guys are super upset, because, like I mentioned, girls have cooties. The boys bitch about the girls coming, so the girls go off and shop and explore. They find one of those old time photo places and take fun photos. The guys pose on rocks and stuff. When they meet up, JD admires the pictures, and Blayne claims there’s not tension between the two groups.

Now they roommates are going out to dinner with Ryan’s family, and his dad has an amazing moustache. Blayne thinks his family is good people, and Katelynn agrees, but she’s bored. They head to the other half of the restaurant, which is a bar. Oh, and there’s a pole, so um, Katelynn goes to town on it. Bet someone’s not bored anymore. Everyone else realizes how messed up it is to randomly pole dance in public, but Katelynn doesn’t care. Oh, and she also grinds with an old man. This girl is seriously screwed up.

The next morning, the guys get up and ready and leave without the girls. Nice. Is this the theme of the episode? Because I’m getting sick of it. In the car, the guys talk about how inappropriate Katelynn was. The guys get there first and the girls are late.

The ceremony is really moving to most normal human beings, since it’s honoring people who have died of AIDS, but Blayne doesn’t see it that way. Instead, he thinks it’s a good time to act like a three year old. Katelynn and Sarah tell him to stop, which upsets Blayne somehow. Because he’s obviously totally in the right to act like a child at a super serious time.

They get back into their boy and girl cars, and talk shit about the other group. Yeah, I’m going to side with the girls on this one. In some situations what the guys were doing would be fine, but that isn’t something you mock.

In the girls car, Katelynn decides to come out to Devyn as transgender, but Devyn tells her that she already knows. Devyn is totally fine with it. They then discuss whether the guys know/care. She thinks Ryan will have the biggest problem with it (obviously), but says she does want to come out to him.

Then we see a shot of the guys mocking the fact that Katelynn is transgender. They claim that’s their way of dealing with the situation. Apparently they’re upset that Katelynn hasn’t told them yet, but ummm, wonder why? Clearly you guys are super sensitive about it. Of course she can talk to you.

They’re back at the house, and the boys are crabby. They get into a big fight over what happened that morning at the event. Blayne is super upset that they judge his behavior. Um...then stop acting like an immature ass? He rambles on about how they’re at fault. Sarah then cries in the confessional, because she doesn’t think she’s like that at all. We’re finally getting somewhere. I hope one of the roommates throws something at another one soon!

Sarah then goes up to JD, apologizing and wanting to know if Blayne’s right about her being judgmental. I’m going to go with, yeah, kind of. Instead, it turns into a conversation between JD and Devyne about the lives and psyches of little girls and which one of them is smarter. And by conversation I mean shouting match. JD calls Devyn a college dropout, which is true, but she’s considers herself college educated because she attended some college. Riiiight. That’s like being a janitor at NASA and telling people you “work for NASA”. It might be technically kind of true, but it’s sure as hell deceptive.

Oooh, and then Devyn pull s out this gem for JD, “Just because you felt like a little girl as a child, there’s a difference between little boys and little girls”. Ummm...good assumption about gay guys, sweetheart.

Sarah agrees that JD shouldn’t have called Devyn a college dropout, which yeah, he probably shouldn’t have, but now was reallyyyyy not the best time to get involved. Ya know...since the original conversation was about her being judgmental, especially in situations that don’t involve her. Sarah and Devyn then bond in the confessional.

Now Blayne is back to talking about Katelynn being transgender and how she should just tell the house. Ryan decides that he needs to be more aggressive with the situation.

He brings a chair into the room where Katelynn is on the computer, and says “You’re like a big mystery and I’d love to learn more about you”. Haha, it’s actually a nice enough thing to say, but it totally sounds like he’s hitting on her. He then just straight up asks her if she was born a guy. She confirms that she was, but says that she didn’t want people to know right away because she didn’t want people to define her by that. They then talk about the actual procedure, and Ryan seems completely freaked out by what the surgery entails. Apparently Katelynn spent $30,000 on the procedure. Ryan has lots of questions about it. We find that “orgasms are just as great now as they were back then”. Good for her. Ryan compares her to Pinocchio, which actually isn’t a bad comparison, exactly. Ryan tells Katelynn that they guys all know, so yeah, can we be done with the whole Katelynn telling people she’s transgender thing?

Katelynn’s glad that she and Ryan had their talk, but she’s kind of disappointed that people could tell so easily that she’s transgender. Yeah, that’s got to suck.

Ryan then tells Scott that Katelynn knows that they all know. Scott keeps going on about how she should have told them, and apparently Ryan’s talk with Katelynn helped, because he defends her reasons for not telling them. Scott is still hurt that she didn’t tell him, because this situation’s obviously all about him.

Sarah apparently told Katelynn that JD outted her to all the guys, and Katelynn’s pretty upset about it. To be fair, the guys already basically knew. Katelynn’s mad at JD, which I definitely get.

Later, JD comes up to Katelynn and says he had nothing to do with Ryan going to her about stuff. Katelynn calls bullshit on that one, and that’s the end of that.

Now we see heartwarming shots of Katelynn bonding with Ryan and Scott, as the boys talk about how much better the situation is and how they’ll like BFF now. But...would they let Katelynn ride in the boys car? I mean...she did used to be a guy...

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The Bachelor: Jason Mesnik (Episode 6) Recap

Last week, everyone went to Seattle, Ty threw a tantrum, Stephanie wore a hideous vest, Jason forgot to spoiler alert the city of Seattle before the radio interview, Naomi annoyed me, and Stephanie exited with class. This week we have the hometown dates, and seemingly no Deanna, yet again. ABC is such a tease! I’m really thinking this might finally be the week Naomi goes home, so I’m pretty pumped. Let the awkward questioning by the girls’ parents commence….

The family fun (and my review/recap) begins after the jump.

This week, Jason, who is looking even tanner than usual, talked a lot about the economy, congress, and a “stimulus package” that he has come up with. He even gave his opinion on A-Rod’s steroid confession. I’ve never seen him talk this much, and I’m actually surprised he is giving his opinion about politics. Oh, wait, I think that was actually a press conference with President Obama.

To start the real episode, we see Jason packing for the hometown dates. He’s bringing 21 shirts. Damn! That’s a lot for four dates. What a diva. Jason then talks about his feelings about each girl. It’s not all that interesting, so I’ll just recap. Jillian’s fun and passionate, but doesn’t show her emotions and isn’t really opening up (AKA Tessa syndrome). Molly has beautiful eyes and goes after what she wants and thinks they could possibly have a perfect life together, but he’s worried that he’s not getting deep enough with her. Naomi is very adventurous and a free spirit, but he’s not sure if she’s ready for his life. Melissa is very pretty and fun, but he at first he wasn’t sure if she was serious about this. He also thinks that she’s too perfect. Imagine if she still had those FFs. Jason really thinks that one of the girls is his future life, but he doesn’t know which. Melissa? Please let it be Melissa.

Jason’s first hometown date is with Jillian in Kelowna in British Columbia (NOT Alberta, thanks you all for correcting that one...oops!) in Canada (bleh). It’s where Jillian spent her summers, Christmases, and Easters. He wants to find out if she’s as into him as he is to her. Jillian’s super excited to have Jason meet her family, and her feelings for him are getting deeper.

Jillian tells Jason a story about Canada’s own Loch Ness Monster, Ogopogo. O Canada, can they have nothing original? Apparently Jillian has had an encounter with this creature. Wait...do you really want to marry someone who believes in imaginary creatures?

Next they go to some winery inside a volcano, which is actually pretty cool. Jillian thinks that Jason is attracted to her strength and control, and wants to explain why to him. Jason and Jillian sit down in front of a fire, and have a very serious conversation about Jillian’s mother’s depression. She tells him that her mother has tried to take her own life, and everything that she’s been through. Only in the last couple of years has her mother been better. The whole story really showed Jason why Jillian is as emotionally stoic as she is. He says that her opening up like this has brought them even closer together.
Aw...I don’t even like her, but the whole moment was really touching. The fact that she appreciates how impressive her family is makes me like her a tiny bit more. I mean, not enough that I actually like her, but still.

Next, Jillian, the “Jumping Jellybean”, bring Jason to her parent’s house. Jason immediately gets draped in a Canadian flag, thereby confirming every terrible thing I have ever thought about Canada. Jason meets her mom, dad, cousin, and cousin’s husband. Jillian’s family seems really nice, actually. Oh, and you can definitely see Jillian’s bra through her shirt.

Jason seems to get along with her family pretty. At then at dinner, Jillian’s mother treats us to a poem she wrote for Jillian, and I see where Jillian learned to say the word “again” incorrectly.

After dinner, Jillian’s mom takes Jason away, and asks him questions from a list longer than Santa’s. He does a very good job answering her questions and handles the situation with aplomb. Jillian’s mom does pull a Shannon stalker move, and knows what he got his degree in. Google sure makes people creepy. She seemed to approve of Jason’s answers to all her questions though. Jason asks Jillian’s mom for advice about making a marriage last, especially through hard times, which I thought was a cute move on his part.

When Jillian and her mom talk about Jason her mother has only good things to say about him. Jillian says that she could definitely see herself marrying him. Jason also talks to Jillian’s dad, who also talks about how amazing Jillian is.

Jillian’s grandma now shows up, and Jillian is ridiculously excited. Jillian’s grandma thinks Jason is pretty attractive. Keep your hands off, lady! She brought him a pair of maple leaf boxers.


Jason thinks that Jillian’s family is hilarious, and I think Jason maybe doesn’t have the best sense of humor. Or maybe it just doesn’t translate well to TV. Just kidding, they just aren’t funny. Jason says he felt very comfortable with her family, and that he definitely thinks Jillian could be the one. So um, I’m guessing she’s staying this week...

Jason heads to Molly’s hometown next, which is Grand Rapids, Michigan. Good state, I like Michigan. Molly has already beaten Jillian for better hometown date just by not being from Canada. (If you are Canadian and reading this, just know it’s not personal, but honestly, you should maybe move somewhere better. Comments also apply to Wisconsinites.)

Molly is waiting for Jason at the country club in a golf cart, wearing a little golfing outfit. I kind of want to start golfing so I can wear more argyle sweaters. Or maybe not. The only time I ever went golfing (besides mini golfing...I’m a mini golf pro), my sister “accidentally” hit me in the head with a golf club. Yeah.

Molly tells Jason that she’s only brought one guy home before and they hated him. No pressure though. Molly and Jason hit a few balls around, and Molly finds the fact that he can golf sexy. Molly thinks that her parents will just want to get to know Jason. She says she’s proud to be bringing Jason home.

Molly’s parents greet Jason warmly, and they start off by talking about golfing. I guess they’re idea is to start with the only thing they have in common. It works though, I’m pretty sure. Then Molly’s mom brings out the hats. These are serious hats too...Native American headdresses, hats shaped like beer glasses and cow’s heads...that type of thing. “Oh Maryann!” as Molly puts it.

Jason then goes off with Molly’s mom, who wants him to draw a picture of his “favorite memory of Molly’s face”. Jason tries to draw Molly’s big smile and her green eyes. We’ll see the result later.

Molly then talks to her dad, who tells her to not cry in the limo if she gets eliminated. It’s actually a decent idea

Back to Jason painting and drawing with Molly’s mom, and well, he’s not so talented. Molly’s mom says the fact that Jason embraced the hat box and drew the picture meant that he will get along well with the family. So yeah, she approves.

Jason shows Molly his creepy-clown artwork, and she says that it’s refrigerator worthy. Jason had a great time with Molly’s family and thinks the day went really well. He says he can’t get enough of Molly. Yeah...she’s staying too. It totally has to be Naomi who goes.

Next up is Naomi’s hometown date, which is in Lake Elsinore, California. Naomi hopes she can show Jason that she’s ready to have a family. Jason wants to find out the same thing.

Naomi and Jason talk about his concerns about her and she tells him that she is definitely ready. I can totally understand why he would think that because she just seems really juvenile right now. Despite her attempts to reassure him, Jason still doesn’t really believe Naomi’s ready for all this, but thinks that seeing her with her family will help him see.

Naomi’s both excited and scared about Jason meeting her family. She says her family is “interesting” and “as crazy as it gets”. Jason’s going to meet her mom, dad, sister, brother, half-sister, niece and nephew. Her parents divorced when Naomi was 11, so this could be interesting.

There are tons of people running amuck. They have a hula hoop contest and Jason sucks, as expected. He’s even worse at hula hooping than he was at drawing! Naomi incorrectly tells Jason that it’s all in the hips. It’s actually all in the legs and stomach, trust me.

Naomi’s mom gathers the family to tell a story about how a dove “killed itself” on her windshield. She decided to keep it in a bag in the refrigerator. Oh, and they named it Rosie. Naomi seems rightfully horrified and embarrassed by it all. Naomi’s mom wants Jason to help them bury it and give the dove’s eulogy. Awesome family date.

The funeral is both disturbing and hysterical at the same time. Jason describes it as “interesting to be a part of”. There are so many things wrong with what is happening, and I can’t help but be reminded of a certain episode of The Office that also involved a bird’s funeral. Except I’m pretty sure the funeral on The Office was less awkward than this one.

Jason talks to Naomi’s father, Hector, who wants to know that he’s selfless enough for Naomi. He talks about Jesus a lot, and asks Jason about his religious background. Jason’s not religious, and looks pretty uncomfortable. Hector tells him that Jesus is the only way and all that. It’s very awkward. I bet this is the most Jesus has ever been mentioned on the show. As Jason puts it, “Today I learned that Hector loves Jesus”.

Naomi’s mom, Joanne, thankfully cuts into the conversation. When you’re relieved when dead bird funeral lady shows up, you know things aren’t going well. Naomi’s mom talks about psychic abilities and stuff. She thinks that she and Jason are in the same soul family. And then she talks about reincarnation. Wow...no wonder Joanne and Hector didn’t make it. Jesus doesn’t believe in reincarnation, does he? This family is something else, let me tell you.

Naomi talks to her father about Jason. Hector seems pretty concerned that Jason isn’t a Christian. Naomi says she’s spiritual, but it doesn’t matter if Jason has the same beliefs as her. Hector says she’ll support Naomi, no matter what she decides. Naomi’s talk with her dad made her wish she had talked more about religion and spiritual beliefs with Jason.

Jason says that he thinks Naomi’s family is great, but I’m not totally sure I believe him. Naomi says she thinks that Jason fit in really well with her family, but yeah, I’m going to have to disagree. It seemed to me that of all the dates, Jason was the most uncomfortable here, and that the date went the worst of all of them, though not necessarily bad. Naomi says she’s falling in love with Jason (to the camera). Then they make out a bunch, and I didn’t need to see all of that.

The next date is with Melissa (woot!) in Dallas (woot!). Jason’s looking forward to meeting Melissa’s family, and thinks that it will tell him a lot about who Melissa is (uhhh...bad news buddy). They have a cute little run to each other and twirl around meeting. I think they’re happy to see each other. Melissa made a little tooth fairy box for Ty, which is pretty adorable.

Melissa tells Jason that he’ll be meeting her best friends instead of her family, because her parents aren’t comfortable meeting Jason on TV. They feel like it should be a genuine moment, not recorded. Melissa seems pretty upset by everything, and I feel really bad for her. She’s very worried that the fact that her family won’t do this will affect his decision. I think it’s crap that he doesn’t just get to meet them off camera.

Jason’s going to meet two of her friends, their husbands, and one of her friend’s two daughters. Jason sees that the girls are drawn to Melissa and that she’s very comfortable around kids. That bodes well for her. And the fact that her two friends are both married will work out better for Melissa than the whole meeting the friends thing has for other girls on the show in the past.

Melissa’s friends talk about how Melissa has had bad taste in guys in the past. She hasn’t introduced most guys she’s dated to her friends, but Jason seems to fit in well.

Melissa talks to the girls about how great Jason is, and they get emotional and girly. While that was happening, Jason talks to the guys and asks them how she could still be single since she’s so great. They say that past guys would have rather spent time with their friends than Melissa. They all seem to really care about Melissa. Jason talks about how incredible Melissa is. The guys seem to approve of Jason, and they think that he’s a definite improvement over her past guys.

Jason then talks to the girls, and he has lots of questions about her parents. The friends haven’t really met her parents either, and Jason finds it weird. Yeah...I definitely agree. Melissa better not be going home. Eh, he likes her way too much, I think.

After they leave Melissa’s friends house they go back to Melissa’s place and talk more and she elaborates some about her family. Melissa talks about how private her parents are. Apparently they never even went to the games when she was a Cowboys cheerleader. Melissa says she knows it’s not that they don’t care; it’s just how they are. She says they’re very different than her but that she’s similar to her mom in that they’re both nurturing and that her dad is more adventurous like she is. Then they make out. Melissa says (to the camera) that she’s in love with Jason now.

Jason and Melissa obviously have a connection, but I think the fact that he never met her family was a big deal to Jason. I hope that he doesn’t send her home this week over it because it wasn’t something she did, and it shouldn’t affect his feelings towards her. If he is falling in love with her, her family not wanting to be on TV shouldn’t matter.

Now Jason’s back in Seattle, and he says this past week was one of the best weeks he’s ever had. Chris Harrison shows up at Jason’s (fake) house to talk about the girls. I really like Chris’ vest under the suit coat look. It’s very dapper. Jason says that Jillian really opened up to him and that they have a fun connection, but he’s not sure it’s enough. Meeting Molly’s family really showed Jason a lot about who she is, but he’s not totally sure she’s ready to settle down. Jason delicately says that Naomi’s family is, erm, interesting. He loves her zest for life, but he’s afraid that Naomi’s not ready to settle into the life he has. Jason was disappointed that he didn’t get to meet her parents, but that he does see that her friends are a part of her family. He’s not sure if they can move forward, though, if he can’t actually meet her parents. Chris Harrison then leaves. Sad. Jason says it’s an extremely tough decision to make. Really? Because I didn’t even think about it before deciding he should get rid of Naomi.

Now it’s Rose Ceremony time, and Chris Harrison tells the girl Jason definitely thinks one of them will become his wife. Jason then comes in and tells the girls what a great time he had and how difficult the decision is. Uh huh...let’s hand out those roses! First rose goes to:

Molly (Clown-Mouth) – They’re date went the best, so I’m definitely not surprised.

Jillian (Canaduh) – Not surprising either. He better not end up with her, though.

Chris Harrison comes out to tell us that, “this is the final rose tonight.” Oh Chris Harrison. And the last rose goes to...

Melissa (Orphan) – Good. I’m glad that her family didn’t ruin this for the two of them because she is obviously best for Jason.

And this means Naomi’s gone!!! I figured this would happen and I’m glad it did.

Jason walks Naomi out, and they sit down to talk. Jason says that he’s feels that they’re in different places and that he’s not sure their lives would fit together. She says that she wished it had been because he connected with the other girls more, which is also probably the case, but that would have just been piling on, if you will. Naomi actually handles things better than I thought she would. In the limo she says that after this she doesn’t want a love life right now and that she’s probably better off alone. Way to prove Jason’s point. Man...why did we never get to see her handle bitches with a slap? I was looking forward to that all season...

Jason says he knows he made the right choice, but it was still hard. He goes back with the remaining girls, and talks about what a great week he had. And announces that he’s taking them to New Zealand, which I’m very jealous of.

So...who do we all think will be the next to go? I’m hoping for Jillian.

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The Bachelor: Jason Mesnik (Episode 5) Recap

Previously on The Bachelor...the girls were horrible at singing, Jason and Molly did the nasty in a tent, Jason slutted it up on General Hospital, Melissa (and everyone else) got jealous, Shannon (shockingly) was creepy, Nikki got kicked to the curb, and Jason went all rebel on us and sent home an extra girl. It’s getting down to the wire. I’d say that Jason has been doing a pretty good job choosing, but I think he’s making a mistake by keeping Naomi for so long. Hopefully, she’ll be going home ASAP. Let the love-falling begin…

The jealousy (and my review/recap) begins after the jump.

On the preview for tonight’s episode, we get to see that Jason spends time with Ty, delays his date with Melissa, the girls go on the radio, Naomi and Jason talk awkwardly through helicopter headsets, Jason questions Jillian’s intentions , and we have “the most intense Rose Ceremony ever”, for probably the 34th time. Let’s get to it.

The episode starts with our lovable host, Chris Harrison, telling the girls that Jason sees a future with them. This week they’ll be a group date and two 1-on-1 dates, but none of the dates will have roses. He also tells them that they’re going to Seattle. Screams ensue. Ya know, these type of surprises are kind of ruined by them being shown in previews about 17 thousand times. Just saying. The girls are very excited to go and as Melissa excitedly puts it, “We are fixin’ to hop on a plane and go to Seattle!” Jillian hopes they get to meet Ty. I kind of doubt they will, though. Shouldn’t that be saved for the final 2 or something?

Arial shots of the Emerald City lead to a Jason-Ty reunion. Always precious, although not as cute as the one on last season’s Bachelorette. Jason wants to bring the girls to Seattle to see how well they’ll fit into his life. He also needs to make sure the girls are right for Ty, so maybe they will meet him?

Anyway, the girls show up and Jason’s super excited to see the girls, who, coincidentally, are also super excited to see him. Jason shows the girls their swanky digs. Naomi decides she would move to Seattle in a heartbeat because it’s a beautiful city and a beautiful hotel. She does realize that she wouldn’t be living in the hotel right? Jason then tells Melissa that the two of them will be sharing a one-on-one date later that evening. Naomi is livid that she didn’t get the date and I’m livid that I have to look at Naomi’s terrible hat. They all discuss how Naomi’s the only one to not have one yet, and Jillian helpfully says, “You definitely could use one”.

Melissa’s excited for the date, and says she’s going to have a night of surprises. According to the previews, she clearly will.

Melissa fancies herself up and we get gratuitous shots of Jason shirtless while getting ready at home with a visibly upset Ty. I guess he isn’t taking to the fact that his dad that just got home earlier today is leaving again. I feel ya, Ty. I feel ya. Melissa wait for an extra half hour before Jason calls her to tell her they’re not going on their tour of Seattle date, which sounded like it would have been very nice. I sort of understand Jason not wanting to go out, but couldn’t he have called earlier than he did. He left her sitting there for a half hour. Instead of their elaborate date, Melissa and Jason are going to spend the evening at Jason’s house. Melissa takes it all in stride, as expected, and heads over to Jason’s place. Does this mean she’s going to be the first to meet Ty? If she does, that’s definitely an advantage. Jillian agrees and is super jealous. Ha.


Melissa gets to Jason’s place, and there’s a note saying he’s putting Ty to bed and he’ll be down soon. Melissa gets there and does her (potential) wifely duties and cleans up the place. Nice move, that should definitely score some points with Jason. I’m thinking she might not actually get to meet Ty, just like...watch him sleep.

Anyway, we see Melissa sitting awkwardly waiting, and then Jason comes in. Melissa changes out of her dress and into comfy clothes, and Jason says she always looks good. Jason says he’s not ready to introduce any of the girls to Ty (called it) but she’s allowed to watch him sleep (doubled called it). God, I’m good.

Melissa and Jason then talk about Ty and future children. I think Melissa would be a darn good mom, unlike Naomi, for example. They also talk about who Jason would meet if he went to Melissa’s hometown (her parents and little brother), and what Melissa’s place is like. Melissa says she’s close to her family, but she describes herself as the black sheep of the family. Huh...what kind of family is this if Melissa’s the black sheep? Jason and Melissa make out, and they seem to go really well together. Oh, and for a second I though Melissa had a tramp stamp, but I’m pretty sure it was just her mic, thank god. I mean, she’s my favorite. That could have ruined it! I’d be just fine with that date if I were Melissa because they actually got to connect and talk about real things instead of, “Oh, look how pretty Seattle looks.”

The other girls agree with me and are crazy jealous. Is it the specific date they’re jealous of or is it that the see that Jason and Melissa have a connection and this time will only deepen it? I think it’s the latter. I do like the fact that all the girls would actually prefer to spend time with Jason in a more real setting than all the fancy expensive dates.

Now it’s the next date, and a date box/card comes. It’s for Stephanie, Jillian, and Molly. “Open your heart because love is on the air”. Naomi’s glad she’s finally getting her one-on-one date because she’ll actually get time with Jason. I’m kind of okay with that, because maybe he’ll see how awful she is.

Anyway, they go off on the group date, and Jason’s excited to see how the girls like Seattle and all that. Stephanie is wearing a terrible white furry vest. It’s making me want to vomit. Why would she wear that. Does she think that’s going to impress Jason? Oh, goodness, just caught what’s underneath. Shirt with rhinestones…no! Abort mission. Abort mission! She does not dress like a woman in her 30s should. Stephanie and Jason have 1-on-1 time, and she gets to steer the boat, which she’s very excited about. Jason tells the camera about the connection they have as parents (but what about a romantic connection?), and then they talk about Sophia and their date with her. I think Jason might like Sophia and the idea of them as a family more than he actually likes Stephanie. They just don’t have the spark he has with some of the others.

Jillian and Molly talk about jealousy, but Jillian isn’t too worried, because she only sees Jason ending up with her. God I hope not. He works way better with Melissa. Or Molly. Or...well, mainly those two. I like Stephanie too though.

Jason can only meet the families of four of the girls, so he decides to use radio hosts to help him narrow it down. Good plan. Jason is on the air first, and the girls can watch, but not listen. The girls marvel at how good he looks doing it. The hosts ask Jason a bevy of questions including what his favorite date was. Jason says that it was his date with Stephanie and Sophia. That’s nice and all, but I kind of feel like it was a safe answer. He could hardly say that he most enjoyed getting it on in a tent. Ooh, then they ask Jason who the best kisser is, and I’m pretty sure he shouldn’t answer that one. But stupidly he does, and his answer is Molly. No shocker there, I mean it is her secret talent and even won her a rose on a group date.

Apparently the show is live because Melissa and Naomi are listening...and know he doesn’t think either of them are the best kisser. Although, it’s debatable if the question is about all five girls or just the three on the date with him.

To test to see if he’s legit about his choice, the hosts hold a kissing contest wherein Jason is blindfolded and each of the girls kisses him and he has to guess who each was at the end. Jillian goes first and as she puts it, “I just forced my tongue right into his mouth and touched his tonsils so that he knew it would be me. No I didn’t, I didn’t, I didn’t. I didn’t.”

Stephanie kisses him next, and let me tell you, awkward. He is obviously going to know it’s her because she does her little kiss him all over before she hits the lips. Who does she think she is, Mr. Darcy? She puts it best, “I think he would recognize from me, tenderness.” As an aside, I would like to say that Stephanie needs to lay off the make-up. It is truly ridiculous, especially in the lighting of the interviews. She is wearing more blush than all the blush I have ever worn combined. It looks like Sophia was the one that did her make-up.

Molly goes next and does her patented grabbing his face move, so Jason naturally gets them all correct. Apparently the contest was “so easy”.

Now the girls get interviewed. Stephanie thinks that Jason’s eyes are the sexiest thing about him, and Jillian agrees. Melissa thinks it’s his smile though. Aww...yeah...I love his smile. Next, the hosts ask the ladies what they’re like in the sack. Molly says she’s a lingerie kind of girl. She says that it makes her feel wanted. Jillian says she likes to have fun because it makes it more intimate afterward, and Stephanie again creeps me out by saying that she just wants to make sure her guy is completely taken care of. Ummm… what about you? Shouldn’t he take care of you too?

Then they go get dinner, and um, nothing happens. Next, Jason and Jillian have some alone time and Jason asks her how she’s doing because he feels like he’s seen change in her since they’ve been in Seattle. Jillian basically says she came on the show for the experience of traveling and meeting people, but didn’t expect to care about him. Awesome. See? She’s not likeable you guys. Anyway, she says it’s hard because the other girls are amazing girls. Jason is worried that her expectations are too high because she expects things to be passionate all the time. Holy cow, she talks extremely fast. I can’t really pin downs what it is about her that bothers me so much, but I just can’t like her. Then they talk about who he’d meet in Canada, which would be her mom, dad, cousin, and her cousin’s guy, and what they do, like picnics, campfires, barbeques, hiking, and lots of other outdoorsy Canadian stuff.

Back to the hotel, the doorbell rings, and Naomi sings some “I’ve got my date card” song. The song is horrible, and so is her singing. He date card says, “Don’t look down, you might fall...” Naomi’s excited, and Melissa is jealous.

Back on the date, the girls question Jason about how he knew who was who when he kissed them. His answer is, “different lips, different styles, different people”. No shit. The girls seem to think it’s a good answer, though.

Then Jason steals Molly away for a walk, and she says she feels very spoiled about the time she gets to spend with Jason. Jillian talks about how hard it is and how jealous she is. Boring. I mean...the girls are jealous, but they’re not being catty enough to make it very entertaining.

Back to Jason and Molly, they talk about her family, who are sarcastic, easy-going, and mellow, just like her. Have we seen Molly being sarcastic at all? I’m not doubting she is...they just haven’t shown it. Jason says he hopes he gets to meet her family, so um, I’m guessing he will. Otherwise why say it? Molly comments (to the camera) that she doesn’t know why Jason’s wasting the other girl’s time. Oh...good job producers, showing that sarcasm for the first time RIGHT after her being sarcastic was mentioned.

Now it’s Jason’s date with Naomi. He’s not sure she’s ready for his life, because she’s such a free spirit or something. Naomi’s excited to “explore a city she might be calling home someday”. Well, I suppose that’s possible, but not because she ends up with Jason. They take a sea plane tour of the city, and then Jason talks (to the camera) about how amazing Naomi is. And they make out in the sea plane. Or helicopter, according to Naomi.

Now we’re back at the hotel, and Stephanie talks on the phone to her daughter on speakerphone, while the other girls listen. Stephanie thinks Jason needs someone who is mature, aka not Naomi. We’re having lots of hinting that Naomi’s going home this episode...

Back to Jason and Naomi, they go to some sports store that has a rock climbing wall. They climb and kiss. Then they stop climbing and kiss more. Then they talk about what Jason wants in a wife, which is someone who understands and would want his life. Apparently the whole Deanna thing kind of made him realize how important that was. Hmmm...it actually sounds like Jason has thought things through. How strange for this show. Oh, and then Jason and Naomi kiss more. Naomi thinks that their lives will fit together really well.

Now Jason and Naomi go over to have fondue, and Naomi tells the camera she’s starting to fall for him. Jason thinks it’s possible they could work out, but he needs to know more about her. Jason asks about her family, and Naomi’s family relationship with her parents is apparently complicated. Naomi talks about how her mom left her dad and her, and then mentions that she sees a lot of her mom in her. Umm...way to seduce a man...compare yourself to your family-deserting mom. Jason picks up on this, and it seems to concern him too. To be fair, I don’t think that’s what she means at all, but yeah. Naomi talks about the future...wanting to adopt kids, have kids of her own, cook...that type of thing. She says she’s really opened up to Jason now. “Today I climbed a wall, and walls came down”. Clever. And I mean that in the most sarcastic way possible.

Back at the hotel, the girls talk about what they’re afraid of. Molly’s afraid Jason will see her as too young. Stephanie’s afraid he’ll see her as too settled. Jillian’s afraid he thinks she has unrealistic expectations of relationships. They think Naomi’s biggest obstacle is getting past the friends thing. But judging by all the kissing on their date, well, I think they’re past it.

Jason is glad that Naomi’s opened up and answered his questions. Naomi thinks things are really good between them. I still think she has a chance of going home.

Now we see shots of Jason hanging out with Ty, while talking head Jason discusses the decision he has to make this week.

The girls are sitting around talking when the doorbell rings, and it’s Jason! He says he’s having a tough day, and that he came because he wants to talk to Jillian. Hmmm...that doesn’t sound that good for her.

Basically, Jason’s worried that Jillian will break his heart. Jillian, holding back tears, talks to Jason about how hard the experience is. He says she always seems strong, and she says she feels like she has to be. Jason says that she’s unbelievable and he really has feelings for her, but he needs to make sure she has feelings for him too. She says she does (I think), but that it’s hard to open up. Jillian says she never expected to get to the hometown date, and I still hope she won’t (although I think she will). Then Jillian and Jason kiss for a bit, so yeah, she’s probably staying...but that conversation was pretty boring.

Now it’s almost Rose Ceremony time, and Jason sits down to talk with Chris Harrison (yay!) at his house. Jason talks about how hard this decision is to make this time. He says it’s kind of a pivotal moment...the whole hometown date thing. Jason talks about how great the date was with Melissa, but sometimes he worries she’s good to be true. Ha...because she’s clearly the best. Jason says Stephanie is one of the most fantastic women he’s ever met and he’d be lucky to end up with her. I still think he won’t though. He says Molly’s fun and her family seems fun, which he likes. Jason says he wants to make sure Jillian is there for him and not for an adventure at this point. He says things are great with Naomi and the chemistry has developed. Chris Harrison comments that he doesn’t have much bad to say about the women, and Jason says, “They’re all incredible”. Yeah, I beg to differ. They are definitely not ALL incredible. Jason doesn’t know how he’s going to choose.

Now we’re at the Rose Ceremony, and Chris Harrison talks to the girls and then brings Jason out. Jason says it’s been an “unreal” week, but tough to figure out which four families he wants to meet. He says, “I got most of my questions answered. Most of them”. Very ominous. Apparently he wants to talk to Naomi more. Molly freaks out and thinks that she’s going to be the one going, but she’s clearly wrong.

Jason wants to make sure that Naomi is ready for the life that he leads. She says that she’s over the single lifestyle and that she’s ready for a family. She says things feel “right” with Jason. I’m really confused about whether or not she’s going now. I was thinking she was, but now I’m thinking she’s not. If she doesn’t, who will? Stephanie? Have they hinted towards that enough? They seemed to be setting it up for Naomi to go, but now I’m thinking maybe not.

Jason says that he’s sorry he had to do that, but it’s what he needed. And now it’s rose time. First rose goes to...

Jillian (Canuck) – So we’re stuck with more of her annoying voice. Awesome.

Melissa (Black Sheep) – Yay! She’s definitely my favorite.

Molly (Kiss Expert) – I like her too. I’m not sure why she thought she wouldn’t get a rose...

And now it’s final rose time, which Chris Harrison so amazingly announces. And it goes to...

Naomi (Helicopter Passenger) – God no. Why?

Jason says that Stephanie’s the most amazing person he’s ever met and that they’re all better people for meeting her. Stephanie handles it with class and says she was glad she got to be a part of it and wishes Jason the best. Wait...THAT was the most intense Rose Ceremony ever? Okay, no. It was sad and everything, but intense? Do they know what intense means? Are they just picking random adjectives?

Jason then walks Stephanie out, and he says he wanted it to be there, but it wasn’t. Stephanie is like 27 thousand times classier than Naomi or Jillian. Boo. I’m sad she’s gone, although I knew she wouldn’t win, because well, the spark really wasn’t there. Stephanie then talks about going to Heaven and seeing Steve (her dead husband) someday. Weird.

Next week...Jillian opens up about her family’s past, Jason demonstrates his lack of artistic ability for Molly’s family, Naomi’s family is crazy and makes guests eulogize dead birds, and Melissa’s family refuses to be on TV. Ooooh...interesting twist. Hope that doesn’t screw things up for Melissa, seeing as I went her to get the final rose. I guess we’ll just have to wait and see...


Core Four:
Honestly, we only like two of the four girls left, so yeah, we’re having to widen our pool for this one.

Melissa: Our favorite. We're not sure what it is about her, but she's just so dang likable.

Molly: She claims she’s sarcastic (a definite plus) and we actually got to see it this time, even if it was only one comment.

Chris Harrison: Best part of the show, as always. We think that's all that needs to be said.

Ty: He wanted to spent time with his dad so he did. This one obviously knows how to get his way.

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